Page 242 - Walking Down the Street

5th Feb 2013, 5:00 AM in Bridle Gossip
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Walking Down the Street
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 5th Feb 2013, 5:00 AM edit delete
I get in a funny mood when I get... fatalistic in a roleplaying session. The situation could be dire as it could possibly be - world ending, party imprisoned, loved ones dying - and if I don't see a way out, I start laughing. I make mean jokes. I cease to treat my enemies with even the slightest bit of respect, even when they threaten my life.

I have roleplayed a man with nothing to lose. It was an interesting experience.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



DracoS 5th Feb 2013, 5:04 AM edit delete reply
So Newbiespud is the Element of Laughter?
Digo 5th Feb 2013, 5:08 AM edit delete reply
Sounds more like the Element of Heath Ledger.
ThousandYearSunrise 5th Feb 2013, 5:46 AM edit delete reply
Do you want to know how I got this cutie mark? My father was a drinker, and a fiend, and one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself, but he doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit.
Digo 5th Feb 2013, 5:50 AM edit delete reply
That is scary cool. :D
Jason Shadow 5th Feb 2013, 5:38 PM edit delete reply
Jason Shadow
Maybe the Element of Harry Dresden?

...No wait, he's always like that.
darkwulf23 5th Feb 2013, 9:30 PM edit delete reply
Ah damn it Jason, you beat me to the Dresden response. Still, no one can piss off the villain better while his ass is on the line like Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden. Conjurer at your own risk.
DoubleCross 5th Feb 2013, 7:06 AM edit delete reply
I think he's more accurately the Element of Stubborn Ignorance.

And I mean this in the most loving way possible, dear.
LoganAura 6th Feb 2013, 1:50 PM edit delete reply
Actually, Newbie was the elements of... Snark and Sarcasm in the AoH group XD It was interesting to see.
Laurence 5th Feb 2013, 5:18 AM edit delete reply
Here they come, just a walking down the street, singing
Doo wah ditty, ditty dum, Ditzy Doo
Working together, have a curse they have to beat, singing
Doo wah ditty, ditty dum, Ditzy Doo
They walked up (walked up)
To a store (a store)
They walked up, to a store, but the pony slammed the door

Sorry, the strip title really caught my muse for some reason there.
Zuche 5th Feb 2013, 5:38 AM edit delete reply
How rude,
They're all afraid,
After all we've done to finally get here,
A stranger rolls into these parts,
Panic it starts,
And locals get clear.

Digo 5th Feb 2013, 5:49 AM edit delete reply
That. Was. Awesome.
Zodo 5th Feb 2013, 5:47 AM edit delete reply
RPGs can end up being very fatalistic to someone who can do math in their head. I often get to that point of no return in the games I play, where I realize that even if I retreat, the odds of my survival are not very good. In those cases, I figure I might as well try to take a bad guy or three with me... or even better, the BigBad.

Interestingly, this tactic often works. Even if I may not be able to mathematically beat the bad guys, facing someone who is fighting like they have nothing left to lose is somewhat intimidating.
Flutters hi 5th Feb 2013, 6:37 AM Flutters hi edit delete reply
If you were in my game and the geust DM allowed me to be someone other than just another member of the party, then you would either take one or three of my machines, or, you would take me.
Zuche 5th Feb 2013, 6:45 AM edit delete reply
It's always good when the players volunteer for "Escape the dungeon/death trap," scenarios.
Ponyfodder 5th Feb 2013, 6:57 AM edit delete reply
It's for those fatalistic times that I like to be playing a "wild card" character, who is unreliable even at the best of times. My sorcerer has both been a detriment to the party (doing more team damage than the monsters did), but for every time that happens, I have also taken out huge swaths of tough enemies with lucky rolls
Von 5th Feb 2013, 6:58 AM Never Surrender edit delete reply
Never give up, never surrender, there is always a will and a way to win.

Especially when the paladin crits on a smite, burstin weapon, with a 3x weapon on a charge. Seriously, I've never DMed such a lucky player
Otto 5th Feb 2013, 6:58 AM edit delete reply
My characters tend to be like that. Was nearly killed, and as soon as the healer had me back online I claimed invincibility and charged. I use it to annoy the DM into trying to prove me wrong.
The MunchKING 5th Feb 2013, 8:50 AM edit delete reply
The MunchKING
So the Healer didn't even Dende you? You just descided on your own you were immortal?
Raxon 5th Feb 2013, 9:53 PM edit delete reply
His name is lil green.
Cain 8th Feb 2013, 11:37 AM edit delete reply
oh boy, imagine RPing Krilin.
Now I want to see a gaming comic for DBZ.
DoubleCross 5th Feb 2013, 7:04 AM edit delete reply
So by 'all our cards' she means her cards...
Digo 5th Feb 2013, 7:15 AM edit delete reply
If the situation gets so bad that Death shows up ringside waving a towel, I will usually fall into the Heroic Last Stand mode, possibly citing a quote along the lines of "If we die here, we die with honor!"
Usually this is where our secondary GM railroads in a Mary Sue to save the party, but I usually annoy him by finding my own clever way out of death... or just get stupidly lucky with a critial hit that forces the opponent to retreat and let me live another day.

Then there's that one player in the group who just charges at the enemy making "Choo-choo" noises.
deeman45 5th Feb 2013, 9:33 AM edit delete reply
If it gets to the point where your players KNOW they're not in danger and charge impossible odds making train noises...

You're not doing the job right.
Digo 5th Feb 2013, 10:00 AM edit delete reply
Sadly, that same GM is the one we sat down with and tried explaining what a "Mary Sue" is for TWO HOURS, and he didn't get it.
We even had him put his NPCs through those online "Mary Sue Tests", and 90% of the NPCs got the Mary Sue score.

...and he STILL didn't get it. :o
Living the dream?
Raxon 5th Feb 2013, 7:24 AM edit delete reply
Taking notes. Delivering the wrong speech. There are so many ways to use these things to their fullest effect.

One of my favorites is delivering entirely the wrong speech, or having the speech be verbatim a lecture from the villain in a movie.
Zuche 5th Feb 2013, 8:59 AM edit delete reply
Wrong speech? You mean like trying to lead a charge with the rallying cry of, "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"?
CJT 5th Feb 2013, 9:01 AM edit delete reply
My favourite along those lines was "giving the right speech with the wrong notes".

Captain Amazing's "let's pardon the villain" speech... with the notes actually being his grocery list.
Digo 5th Feb 2013, 9:13 AM edit delete reply
I loved that scene! :D
Raxon 5th Feb 2013, 10:00 PM edit delete reply
Actually, what I mean is doing things like pretending to be a foreigner who doesn't speak common so I can get away with reading a deconstructive psychoanalysis of Moby Dick to the crowd, and my personal bard/crier/herald/whatever translates it into a rousing, victorious speech for the masses.

I'm a bad man, intentionally messing with the dice rolls.
CJT 5th Feb 2013, 9:03 AM edit delete reply
And all I can think of from the last panel is Luna Eclipsed:

"I'll do what I do best: * Lecture her! *"

...Yeah, that's Twilight.

Luna Eclipsed would actually be a great follow-on to this episode. The PCs are trying to integrate Zecora into Ponyville's society in a way that makes everyone happy... and then have to figure out what Luna's motives are when she arrives.
terrycloth 5th Feb 2013, 12:11 PM edit delete reply
All that green dust, making the children hallucinate. @.@
XandZero2 5th Feb 2013, 9:19 AM edit delete reply
You know, I'd like to add something here.

If you guys recall, I play a Dark Heresy RPG a lot these days (that's a dark, gritty, sci-fi, gothic setting for those not in the know).

The GM likes realism, so he's got a body HP system going, where you have half HP to your limbs, and a quarter HP to your head. Also, the system only ever gives players something like 14 HP (if they're beefy) so yeah... Considering that that means you only have 4 HP to your head and 7 HP to limbs... whenever we get into a fight, there is always a very REAL chance that we could die.

Every single fight, whether it be against a group of thugs or a greater demon, I have to ask myself - should I run from this?

Usually the answer is - "HELL NO!"

Then I have to steel myself for the real possibility of character death - and that is actually one of the coolest feelings you can get from an RPG, 'cause you feel like a real badflank, ya know?

In the end, guess what I'm trying to say is that in Dark Heresy, I always feel like I'm a man with nothing to lose.

FanOfMostEverything 5th Feb 2013, 9:37 AM edit delete reply
A shame this is 4E. I could easily see Twilight having full ranks in Perform (oratory).
And now I can't help but compare Twilight and Vaarsuvius.
CJT 5th Feb 2013, 11:34 AM edit delete reply
She's missing the Exploding Runes habit, but I can totally see Varsuvius giving the same quote from 219:

"Oh! Sorry. You're right. I don't know what came over me. I should go outside, construct a proper fire pit... and THEN FIREBALL."
Tatsurou 5th Feb 2013, 11:31 AM edit delete reply
It seems like story time today is what you do in game when you know you're about to die.
I, oddly enough, plan for these situations to happen as often as possible, because it's so much fun.
One fight, against the BBEG, I was a rogue, and I'd balanced my armor, stats, feats, and traits to the point where I was - literally - as fast as I could possibly be.
Our party knew we were underleveled, unprepared, and about to get our asses handed to us.
Then I taunted the BBEG. He attacked me.
I pulled the longest string of succesful dodge rolls any of that group had ever seen, taunting the BBEG every single time. After a few such, I even threw in the taunt, "I shout 'You're too slow!' while smacking my ass at him"
Even the DM was laughing so hard at this point that he decided that the BBEG was beggining to get penalties to accuracy due to overpowering fury. This meant it was easier to dodge, but one hit to me would do enough damage to TPK due to shockwave damage of impact.
Continued to dodge. Eventually, the BBEG - who was mage class - ran out of prepared spells for the day.
When that happened, none of us were able to stay sitting up as everyone else was rolling on the floor laughing, and I was giving a flourished bow.

...of course, the BBEG's health and defense relative to us still made it take about 4 hours of continuous attacks and pursuits to finally take him down...
CJT 5th Feb 2013, 11:48 AM edit delete reply
Krillin Tactic for the win, apparently. Nifty story!

My own character's "about to die" moments usually don't leave time for anything fancy. But Flan's character was another story:

This was an even-more-overpowered-than-usual Realms campaign with a group I used to game with long ago. This was years after I'd parted ways with them, but I've still kept in touch off and on.

Flan's character was lucky enough to be born with access to "spellfire", which was pretty much a 1/day "bolt of pure magic at something" type of deal. Since then, either with the aid of Wishes or via favours owed by the gods, he had it bumped to 2/day. As usual, he was also a combat demon. High-level campaigns with that group tended to get mythic pretty quickly.

For this particular adventure, the DM had contrived to have everyone wind up in an underground cell without their equipment or even their clothes. They eventually escaped, raided a supply of inferior equipment nearby... and wandered out into the adjoining cavern with a large and peeved dragon in it.

Battle ensued. Flan dumped spellfire on the thing, twice, injuring it but also getting it royally pissed off. At this point, he's out of actions for the round, and is in melee range of a very angry critter.

His thought process, he said, was something like the following: "Aww, crap. I'm going to die." "...well, if I'm going to _die_..."

"All right, ya pansy, show me what you're made of!"

*claw* *claw* *wing* *wing* *tail* *bite*. Dodged x6.

He'd drawn enough of the dragon's attention to get it to completely ignore the rest of the party. He still died, but nobody else (aside from the dragon) did.

At that point, the DM retired the campaign. Because, in his words, "you guys beat a dragon naked".

I don't usually play epic-fantasy campaigns, but I do still have fond memories of my time with that group.
Tatsurou 6th Feb 2013, 10:56 AM edit delete reply
I forgot to mention what - in hindsight - is probably the funniest thing from my story, which - oddly enough - none of us put together until hindsight.
The campaign was set in a world of anthros. The mage class BBEG was a hedgehog.
Giggle Tail 5th Feb 2013, 12:30 PM edit delete reply
Giggle Tail
One of our group members is our unofficial note-taker whenever he's not DMing. He takes notes on EVERYTHING. What happens (useful for recaps at the beginning of each session), comical names we give our stuff, anything funny someone said either in or out of character, NPC names, everything.

Also, my current character is pretty much based around joking about everything and being obnoxious to his enemies. Unfortunately, he's a child, so OOC I get a really hard time about him :/
Digo 5th Feb 2013, 1:39 PM edit delete reply
We kinda do that too, but split the role. One player is a habitual note taker, while I usually keep track of the funny quotes. I usually post the quotes to my LJ later.
Good for an exercise in what not to do XD
CJT 5th Feb 2013, 2:11 PM edit delete reply
I still have to finish tracking down and archiving all of the "best of GURPS Trixie" lines.

"Bullet-proof nudity" and "that is why you're single" remain my favourites so far.
Giggle Tail 5th Feb 2013, 6:29 PM edit delete reply
Giggle Tail
We're all agreed that this is our best exchange yet:



Player: ...True.
Zuche 6th Feb 2013, 4:24 AM edit delete reply
But were they zombie orphans?
Digo 6th Feb 2013, 5:07 AM edit delete reply
Those two would likely be my choices for best lines as well.
Page-Mistress 5th Feb 2013, 1:01 PM edit delete reply
Yay! The Apocalypse Now line is here!
Zuche 6th Feb 2013, 4:29 AM edit delete reply
Where are you getting, "I love the smell of napalm in the morning," out of this? All I see is a reference to "Heart of Darkness". 0:D
Argon 5th Feb 2013, 2:07 PM edit delete reply
Newbiespud, how long have you been waiting to use that third panel?
Destrustor 5th Feb 2013, 2:52 PM edit delete reply
I usually always feel that my character is doomed in some way. Between poor personal luck and usually overwhelming enemy odds, "Yep, we're all going to die." is the basic response to everything.
However, I really enjoy doing all I can to anger the enemy. If I'm going to die anyway, might as well make sure the bad guy doesn't enjoy a single second of the chase. When it looks desperate I become a raging a**hole. It's very fun.
Strangely enough, this has yet to make things worse in any noticeable way.
One time, we were facing a gigantic, blot-out-the-sun-with-their-sheer-numbers horde of demons, trying to protect an epic-level NPC priest who was casting a spell to wipe out the whole army in a single attack. A balor grabbed his daughter to intimidate him into stopping. My character manages to magically swap places with her, just before the balor throws out his ultimatum: "Stop or I kill her!"
To which my character replied "Oh nooo" in the most annoying, mocking tone he could. While helplessly grappled by a freaking balor. Who could certainly one-shot him.
Impending doom=snark overdose.
Anon 5th Feb 2013, 4:58 PM edit delete reply
"If your enemy is of choleric temper, seek to anger him." - Sun Tzu
Malroth 5th Feb 2013, 4:51 PM edit delete reply
I just make sure to have a backup character ready and go with the flow.
Raxon 6th Feb 2013, 6:24 AM edit delete reply
Really? My preferred method is having my character be one of a set hexadecatuplets(I think that's what they're called). I think that's what you call sixteen siblings born at the same time, but I may be mistaken.

Or whenever my character gets rezzed, he goes through dissociative fugue. Needs to be reacquainted with his life, and possibly may have to be told that he is, in fact, male.

It would be like Mr. Garrison from South Park, except with a whole new personality every time, too. "I'm not a man, I'm a woman!" "Then what is that?" Dude looks down. "MY BODY! What have you done to my beautiful body!?"

And then there's a sealed envelope that reveals that anytime he's rezzed, they have to add another 500 gp worth of spell material, or he gets a random soul. So they've been forcing totally unwilling souls to take his place and fight. His body may have the skills and memories, but they clash with the memories of the soul, and there's a period of confusion while the body's memories override the soul memories. Much like a person with a concussion often acts very confused.

The latter idea just popped into my head while typing, and I didn't really know where i was going with it until I was done. Sleep depravity is a wonderful thing. It puts the mental in compartmentalize.
Aegis Steadfast 6th Feb 2013, 7:20 AM edit delete reply
Aegis Steadfast
Time in the bathroom has that effect as well.
Zuche 6th Feb 2013, 12:45 PM edit delete reply
That was where I realized that Macbeth would be the perfect source material for slashfic. You'd even be able to keep some of the original lines, especially "Is this a dagger I see before me?"
CJT 7th Feb 2013, 12:20 PM edit delete reply
Now I'm wondering what you'd do in a game of Paranoia (player death happens often enough that you're given clones by the six-pack).

On the other hand, from the sounds of things you're already turning other games _into_ Paranoia, so this might be redundant :).
Blake Black 6th Feb 2013, 4:08 PM edit delete reply
I tried RPing as a guy with nothing to lose. The group I was with that week was a little on the gothy and dramatic side so I thought a short monolouge would be apporpriate. The necromancer and his Dracolich found me hysterical and fell off a cliff laughing. The DM was laughing too and fell backwards out of his chair and threw out his back. I got thrown out of the group and stuck with the bill for the pizza and didn't even get a slice. That was the last time I tried being dramatic. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have tried it as a halfling bard called Mister Squeakers.
Wow 7th Feb 2013, 12:08 AM edit delete reply
sounds like a bunch of jerks.

one time I spent about 3 weeks making up a original character even going so far as to create a new race for it and working closely with the dm who never said a word against it. just for a temp role turns out they actually wanted to replace the guy.

By end of the season the GM pulls me aside with his "minion friend" and tells me not to bother ever coming back.

why? because I went along with the shit the party did.

and thus I never got to play my gargoyle wizard again because they decided to set the giant slime on fire and I obliged.
Marrock 7th Feb 2013, 12:24 PM Oddly enough... edit delete reply
I get that way IRL, my friends get nervous when I go quiet, then get donwright terrified when I start laughing.
Urthdigger 10th Feb 2013, 6:19 AM edit delete reply
During one D&D session we wound up against an enemy that seemed more or less unbeatable. It didn't look like we were making any progress at all, nobody on the team was cooperating... so I just gave up. Just simply gave up and tried my best to commit suicide without being so overt as committing seppeku.

Also in the room was something with a damage field around it. My memory is hazy about the scenario, but I know very early on it was made clear that hitting it was a Bad Idea. Partly due to massive damage incurred. So, being the suicidal player I was, I started attacking it. I kept at it, refusing to heal myself even, until suddenly, when one more good hit would have done it, the thing broke, and led to the end of the boss fight.

I'm praying that was simply the DM realizing I was going hopelessly off the rails out of frustration and changing the boss, and not the intended solution to a puzzle boss. You don't pit players in a fight where there's one solution to win, and then do everything you can to discourage them from doing the solution.