Page 116 - The Masquerade

3rd May 2012, 6:00 AM in Intermission 1
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The Masquerade
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 3rd May 2012, 6:00 AM edit delete
Guest author: Xuincherguixe

"I'm under no illusion that I'm doing anything but channeling myself into Sweetieplayer. In my defense, I think it's ended up pretty funny."

So apparently, if you throw a Vampire: the Masquerade player at the Equestria setting, you're likely to get Sweetie Bot (a la Friendship is Witchcraft). Good to know.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



darkwulf23 3rd May 2012, 6:07 AM edit delete reply
And that is why my dm stops me from using a warforge sorcerer. Doesn't stop me from trying.

And on a related note Sweetiebot for the win. God help us if she becomes a necromancer wizard robot though.
MirrorImage 3rd May 2012, 7:41 AM edit delete reply
To quote Woodle, over on the forums

(When advertising I'm looking to start a 4e group)
"Yes but only if I get to be a sentient bear wizard with all my points in charm, bluff, an illusion magic so no one realizes I'm a bear but I have to pass a check everytime I speak to someone. "

ITT post crazy character ideas that you've seen, done, or wanted to do.
Zarhon 3rd May 2012, 8:14 AM edit delete reply
The SA forums let's play group loved doing these...

Joey Hoofz - A minotaur warlord, who's inventory included a animated monkey's paw, a section of wall+painting, dead chickens... He also tried to intimidate a room and has no survival instincts in the vicinity of gold.

Minerelle Orr - A crystal-born psion that is pretending to be a human to everyone, including her own party (Mostly because she's made of valuable gems) as well as an obession with mind control.

Kensington R. Killjoy Esq. - A Tiefling lawyer warlock from hell, following the party as part of a contract their minotaur leader signed while drunk.

Bananaramawicz - A Jewish Dwarf cleric that tries to make friends with everyone he meets. He speaks Dwarven and Hebrew.

Miriam Webster - A human paladin, obsessed with reading, making others read, books, libraries and chronicling everything. She carries a library worth of books on her person at all times. She also wields a book-flail. She once shifted a book thief into a hell portal.

TV tropes link to them:
Zarhon 3rd May 2012, 8:46 AM edit delete reply
One of them also made a Warforged Italian pizza chef, with a burning pizza oven for a mouth.

Personally, I always wanted to play a hulking Lawful Good Dragonborn Warlord/Paladin/Monk with a vow of silence, innate talent at destroying architecture/stonework with his bare hands, unwavering loyalty to the party and a mark on his forehead that marks him as an outcast/exile of his race.

Did I mention he's also a reverse cannibal, that readily eats any non-Dragonborne foe he finds/kills (He is mystified as to why the rest of the party wastes good food and sees absolutely nothing wrong with it).

He's also the party's cook.
Sidnoea 3rd May 2012, 11:39 AM edit delete reply
Ohai Zarhon, fancy seeing you here.
Zarhon 3rd May 2012, 11:56 AM edit delete reply
Hey Sid. You vanished pretty much. What happened?
Sidnoea 3rd May 2012, 3:32 PM edit delete reply
Still don't have my main computer back due to being grounded, still on probationary internet usage. Bleh.
ToonNinja 3rd May 2012, 8:23 AM edit delete reply
Sockem the warforged monk has been sitting in my RPG folder for a long time, just waiting to be unleashed. Unfortunately, our regular DM has forbidden an idea so awesome overshadowing his campaign. He didn't say as much, but he might as well have. He's just mad because Sockems' backstory involves his comrades' heads being punched off by his sworn enemy, setting off his quest for vengeance. And also the Microsoft Sam voice he uses.
Cain 3rd May 2012, 9:01 AM edit delete reply
If you go back a few pages, the Joker Mindflayer. I can't wait to get that stat block figured out.
Essex 3rd May 2012, 9:58 AM edit delete reply
A friend was once running a midlevel Eberron campaign and invited me to join, so I suggested a Warforged Charger as a character (Chargers are exceedingly dumb 10 foot tall gorilla-like warforged). My backstory was that the character was named Mother and had acted as a cook for the army back during the last war.
masterofgames 3rd May 2012, 10:26 AM edit delete reply
Let me put it this way.

I am no longer allowed to play a gnome with bax bluff and convince people I am a clockwork gnome.

Gnome: I'm a Clockwork Gnome! (roll)
Entire City: We believe you!

I am no longer allowed to play ANY race with max bluff and convince people I am a clockwork Gnome.

Warforged-celestial-Infernal-half dragon-half giant-half dark elf-weretyranasaurus-taur: I'm a Clockwork Gnome! (roll)
Entire City: We believe you!

I am no longer allowed to play any race with max INTIMIDATE and convince people I am a clockwork gnome.

Warforged-celestial-Infernal-half dragon-half giant-half dark elf-weretyranasaurus-taur: I'm a Clockwork Gnome! (roll)
Entire City: Dear GOD, we believe you!
masterofgames 3rd May 2012, 10:34 AM edit delete reply
Another good one.

"I want to play as The Question.

As a pony."
Zuche 3rd May 2012, 1:14 PM edit delete reply
Pinkie Pie would make a good template for the Question.

You'd just need to get her some orange socks.
Zuche 3rd May 2012, 1:12 PM edit delete reply
Masterofgames, I assume you're no longer allowed to do this because you got tired of attempts to take you apart?
Vapor 3rd May 2012, 10:42 AM edit delete reply
Benjii, the 700 year-old robot butler.
Kayeka 3rd May 2012, 11:21 AM edit delete reply
The best character I ever cam up with was a Halfling Paladin.

Of course, the only really 'crazy' part about him was the fact that he was a Halfling Paladin. Still the most fun character I've ever played as, though. Especially because he was surprisingly good at his job, and loved using his ridiculously high charisma for intimidate checks.

There was something terribly hilarious about a four-foot tall twerp that could make you piss your pants in fear just by looking at you.
Toiski 5th May 2012, 3:31 AM edit delete reply
Kayeka: Halfling paladins used to be standard fare for dungeon crawls. Something about them being able to use the Paladin Mount class abilities underground, since a wardog can carry a Small creature in platemail and not exceed 9ft in total height.
sidhe3141 3rd May 2012, 9:22 PM edit delete reply
Currently playing 3.5 as Grignr of Ecordia.

I'd like to play a Derro Cleric of Temporal Hexahedrism sometime.

Last game I was in (Savage Worlds), I created a hivemind race that was about as strange as you'd expect.

And sometime, I'm going to play a refugee from a bloody awful Iron Kingdoms/Planescape crossover I was in once.
Enchanter Tim 3rd May 2012, 10:15 PM edit delete reply
there was a d&d campaign where we each had 2 PCs. Mine were a halfelf rogue and a halforc barbarian. Who had the same father (I joked that their dad had a couple levels in Bard)

Had a D&D monk nmaed Feng Shway.

An old Heroes Unlimited character who got his powers from a magic sword. Unfortunately for him, he got the powers just before he was in a car accident that killed his girlfriend and caused him to slip into a delusion of being a reincarnated knight. (Sort of like Robin Williams character in The Fisher King for those who've seen that movie)
Keith 4th May 2012, 4:42 AM edit delete reply
I mentioned this one a few pages back, but in a Planescape campaign, I played a CN githzerai ninja who had rebelled against the lawfulness and dullness of githzerai society, moved to Sigil, joined the Sensates and changed his name to Wolfgang von Dragonblossom.
Crimson Doom 4th May 2012, 6:10 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
You want a crazy character idea? Here's one that I doubt any GM would let me use.
He's a halfling cleric who worships the likes of Pinkie Pie, Elan of OoTS fame, Deadpool, and Luna Lovegood, and his spells, instead of the normal cleric spells, are randomly generated via the random button on TV Tropes. Instead of "Cure Light Wounds", he casts "Min-Maxing" or "Summon Bigger Fish" or "Kick the Dog".
Of course, being a worshipper of such insane people, he's fairly insane himself; he's pretty much the only person who could force the Fourth Wall to make a Sanity check. It's a wonder he hasn't been brutally murdered yet.
kriss1989 4th May 2012, 6:32 AM edit delete reply
A friend of mine actually played a bear monk. He didn't hide the fact he was a bear, his stealth was just good enough that nobody noticed him.
yahway666 3rd May 2012, 8:28 AM edit delete reply
I've played a game where they decided the warforged could be a sorcerer provided they made an alchemical blood for themselves or had one made.

I've also seen a warforged druid. The GM decided to roll with it, and it has since succeeded in not being useless
Zarhon 3rd May 2012, 8:52 AM edit delete reply
Another silly concept I've seen: A doppelganger/shapeshifter rogue with a God complex (And therefore, beyond alignment / Chaotic Neutral. Her party unanimously decided she's Chaotic Evil though). She liked to collect facial features from people she killed, like ears, noses, skin... "For shapeshifting purposes."

She convinced a Kobold village that she was a god, and tried to have herself "registered" as one at a temple. She ended up turning into an actual Demigod/God at the ending of the campaign.
Ranubis 3rd May 2012, 10:02 AM edit delete reply
Well buck, looks like Cain found the Joker Mindflayer concept. Why oh why did I introduce him to this comic? Next semester should be interesting...
Zarhon 3rd May 2012, 2:25 PM edit delete reply
"Want to know how I got these tentacles?"

Realistically speaking, a Joker mind flayer would be possible if it involved him turning into an "adversary". Then he'd be a mindflayer with the personality of the Joker.

Which is something I would expect the Joker to actually do (It involves drinking a special serum and getting captured by mindflayers, then turned into one by having a larva eat your brain with only a 40% chance of it working).

Although, he'd be forced to never eat brains lest he fully turns into a mindflayer.

Now I can't decide what would be more horrifying: A Joker Flayer, or a Pinkie Flayer.
Cain 4th May 2012, 10:46 AM edit delete reply
I would have found it anyway, this way I at least know who one of the other forumites is. And imagining a Pinkie Mindflayer... AHHHHH!!!! *runs screaming in the direction of sanity*
xuincherguixe 4th May 2012, 2:59 AM edit delete reply
I brought it up a few times before... But Beholder Monk.

I don't know *how* it would work. But I do know it would be extremely stupid and I should not be allowed to play this. But hey, it's really more meant to be an encounter for the PCs to defeat.

On a similar note? A goblin monk on the shoulders of an ogre monk on the shoulders of a Treant Monk.

Something about Kung Fu just makes things funnier.
Raxon 20th Jun 2012, 8:36 AM edit delete reply
A troll bard/warlord. He's something of a singer and private performer. You see, the ladies pay him money, and he takes them back to his room at the inn, where he performs for them... While singing at the top of his lungs.

I present the singing troll gigolo. And I certainly wouldn't have him set a scrying gem of some kind to record the encounter, so he can sell video of it later. Because that might be slightly immoral, and I doubt he could get more for the video than the act.

I also wish to try playing as Major Armstrong from FMA, as a warlord. "THIS METHOD OF HEALING HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS!"

Mindflayer with brain damage that thinks he's human, and on top of that, thinks he's a total babe magnet, despite the fact that his concepts of human mating are waaaay off. He doesn't call them tentacles. He just assumed he has the manliest beard ever.
DanielLC 17th Dec 2012, 9:36 PM edit delete reply
Major Armstrong appeared in Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons under the name Star Paladin Sugar Apple Bombs Stronghoof. I never thought I'd see bishie sparkles in a text medium.

Of course, that was a fanfic, not a game.
Zarhon 3rd May 2012, 6:07 AM edit delete reply
All hail Sweetie Bot: Diplosanitymancer extraordinaire.
Bronymous 3rd May 2012, 6:08 AM edit delete reply
Didn't even read it to know this is the best one. Ever.

Sweetie Bot is best everything.

I want more. Make this a real thing. DO IT.
xuincherguixe 3rd May 2012, 1:47 PM edit delete reply
I have been seriously considering doing my own screencap webcomic because of how well this one turned out. I'm hesitant about this because I should really be spending more time programming as is.
Bronymous 4th May 2012, 11:17 AM edit delete reply
There is nothing in your life more important right now than making this for me.
Jorlem 3rd May 2012, 6:20 AM edit delete reply
So, Discord is a robot? I always thought of robots as more logical...

Also, how do I get an avatar? I can't find a register or sign in link anywhere.
Zuche 3rd May 2012, 6:40 AM edit delete reply
That's a common mistake robots make, and just one of many reasons they hate Captain Kirk on principle.
Enchanter Tim 3rd May 2012, 8:14 AM edit delete reply
as far as robot being logical:

'Garbage in, Garbage out". If you program a robot to believe that 2+2=7 and the cube root of red is cottoncandy, you're gonna end up with some freakin wierd logic trees.
Zuche 3rd May 2012, 8:42 AM edit delete reply
That's why robots make the most frightening druids.
reynard61 3rd May 2012, 8:10 PM edit delete reply
This also explains a disturbingly large number of religious and/or political beliefs among certain humans...
Bronymous 3rd May 2012, 11:32 AM edit delete reply
Go down to the bottom and hit the ComicFury link, or to the top and hit subscribe. It'll prompt you for a login/register account.
xuincherguixe 3rd May 2012, 1:56 PM edit delete reply
I'm operating on the principle that the Robot Conspiracy is so advanced, they can not only make robots capable of analyzing a situation and using reason to determine appropriate reactions... but also doing stupid things on pure impulse.
kriss1989 4th May 2012, 4:37 PM edit delete reply
We will know that computers have gained true sentience when they can make mistakes, recognize it, and admit they thought it was a good idea at the time cause they were in a hurry.
Zuche 3rd May 2012, 6:29 AM edit delete reply
Break out the implements of fun!
darkwulf23 3rd May 2012, 6:47 AM edit delete reply
Imagine what would happen if the DM complained to much on how the girls are playing.

TS: I understand that you are irritated with us because we keep on defeating your long term villains. So I propose that we alternate our characters so that we will be less proficient at defending ponyville.

DM: That might work, let's see your character sheets. (Beat) Twilight your an obsessed fan fiction writer with an obsession over Princess Celestia.

TS: My ultimate goal is to become a princess myself as soon as I frame Princess Molestia, Celestia's sister.

DM: Rainbow Dash, your character is near sighted and has a intelligence score of 4?

RD: I figure that it would be completely rainbow.

DM: Applejack, your character served in a war and is suspected of war crimes?

AJ: I did what I had to do.

DM: Rarity, you're a war deserter?

RY: I suffer from post traumatic dress disorder.

DM: Fluttershy, you're an evil cultist?

FS: Praise Snooze. You know, if that's ok.

DM: Pinkie Pie, you're a gypsy.

PP: I'm a baker not a gypsy. Or am I?

DM: (Pause) I'll stop complaining now.
Zarhon 3rd May 2012, 7:16 AM edit delete reply
You forgot to mention that Pinkie Pie's parents are DEEEAAD, and that Fluttershy has an utterly depressive childhood.

Could have been worse. Could have been the Mentally Advanced Series...

GM: Alright, let's see your sheets... Twilight, you appear to be an brain surgeon with alcoholism, racisim towards non-unicorn, narcissism and a intense phobia of Princess Celestia. You also dabble in demonology?

TS: She had a troubled past. I described it in detail!

DM: Let see that... OKAY MOVING ON. Rainbow Dash, you are a minimum wage goverment worker with an intelligence of 4 and... an obsession with gorillas?

RD: Hey, gorillas are awesome!

DM: Rarity, you are a promiscuous unicorn with non-unicorn racism? Also a nazi?

RY: Yeah, she does seem a bit flat doesn't she? Maybe I should add 'fillyfooler' as well...

DM: AJ, you are an alcoholic, and the element of loyalty/honesty?

AJ: Would you let Rainbow's new character be the element of loyalty?

DM: Point taken. Fluttershy, you appear to have 4 charisma, dependance on others, animal hoarding, self-loathing, extreme shyness, incompetence, 'doormat', forgettable personality, inferiority complex, non-existant self-esteem...

FS: I know, I'm sorry...

DM: Pinkie pie... You are a deranged psychotic sociopath with a habit of poisoning, paranoia, conspiracies and cutlery, recently released from house arrest.

PP: She plans on overthrowing the goverment, yes.

DM: Scootaloo, you are a nymphomaniac. A lesbian, foal nymphomaniac to be precise.

SC: What can I say, the ladies can't resist me. HOOAH!

DM: Sweetie Belle, you are possesed by a geometry demon named Thrackezod with demonic powers, under the guise of being a 'typical pony'?

SB: I am blending in!
darkwulf23 3rd May 2012, 12:11 PM edit delete reply
Of course I left out daddy dragon and Pinkie's parents. You got to leave a little bit of hidden depth and back story for the campaign to flesh out.
Classic Steve 3rd May 2012, 7:23 AM edit delete reply
I think you mean "Praise the Smooze." ;)

But really, why couldn't robots use magic in a world where somebody can?
Bronymous 3rd May 2012, 11:36 AM edit delete reply
I think he meant "Praise Smooze".

As in "Smooze will return and the End is Nigh!"
darkwulf23 3rd May 2012, 12:09 PM edit delete reply
In my defense of the Smooze spelling, I was in a hurry and didn't proof read.
darkwulf23 3rd May 2012, 1:54 PM edit delete reply
Alternate ending for the friendship is witchcraft idea.

TS: I don't believe it, he actually thought it was a good idea.

RY: Yea, now we have to play those horrid characters.

AJ: Now I am going to have to play a greedy bigot who is mean to everybody.

RY: I am going to have to play a whiny girl with bad acting skills.

RD: You think that's bad, I am going to have to talk about rainbows all the time.

PP: (With tears in her eyes) I am going to have to play the straightman once in a while.

FS: I have to be an evil cultist leader with daddy issues.

TS: And I am going to have to play an obsessed fan that writes bad fan fic all the time.


All: *Squee

The DM gets a chill down his spine.
xuincherguixe 3rd May 2012, 2:16 PM edit delete reply
Damn it, did you start running My Little Pony with the Maid System?
darkwulf23 3rd May 2012, 2:19 PM edit delete reply
No but thanks for the idea.
Zarhon 4th May 2012, 8:36 AM edit delete reply
If Spike had a (male) player, he'd play the maid RPG with the Mane Six. He'd simultaneously be the best and the worst DM / 'Master' ever.

Also, Fluttershy maid = Inevitable chainsaw rage.

deeman45 3rd May 2012, 7:46 AM edit delete reply
Don't take this the wrong way, guest authors, cause I've mostly been a fan of these...

But it's been over a full month! When are we returning to our regularly scheduled goodness?
darkwulf23 3rd May 2012, 12:10 PM edit delete reply
Either Saturday or Tuesday.
Newbiespud 3rd May 2012, 2:23 PM edit delete reply
Tuesday! I've got one last treat in store, and then Dragonshy begins. Thanks for waiting up to this point - it won't be too long now.
darkwulf23 3rd May 2012, 2:57 PM edit delete reply
We all have been waiting for a month for dragonshy, but we still got to show love for the guest authors. After all they worked hard to create strips for our amusement. And all of them were entertaining.
GreyDuck 3rd May 2012, 8:18 AM edit delete reply
That last panel paid off the whole setup beautifully. Bravissimo.
XandZero2 3rd May 2012, 8:31 AM edit delete reply

Discord made an appearance! Hell yeah!

Ah, and that reminds me. Spud, please tell me you plan on having him in the main comic.


I know it'd be after Dragonshy, but still, FREAKIN' DISCORD!!!

You can't deny a Chaos God.
XandZero2 3rd May 2012, 8:41 AM edit delete reply
And speaking of crazy character ideas, if I ever got involved in a Pony RPG, I'd want to create a character based off of The Watchmen's Rorschach.

His name would be Theory Craft and he'd probably have a Lovecraftian Elder Sign for a Cutie Mark - though he could also have a magnifying glass. Either way, his specialty would be investigation.

He'd be a P.I. or Pony Investigator, he'd have a grappling gun he got "because I know an owl" (Al), and he'd be generally paranoid and mistrusting of everyone in Ponyville. When he'd hear about Friendship being "Magic" he'd also question if it was perhaps something not meant for pony kind.

Just the idea of such a brutal, socially isolated character in Equestria brings a smile to face every time, and I'd love to quote lines from the movie/comic while pretending to write journal entries.

"...And all the horses and ponyticians will look up, and scream - save us - and I'll look down and say - Neigh."

Zuche 3rd May 2012, 9:06 AM edit delete reply
Balancing Rorshac with a Ponyverse is tricky.

"I've just broken this mare's little figurine. Who's still eating cake?"


Zuche 3rd May 2012, 9:09 AM edit delete reply
On the other hand, "Why are so few of us left active, healthy, and without personality disorders?" would be a fair question here.
darkwulf23 3rd May 2012, 12:15 PM edit delete reply
You want your pony to have a cutie mark that can break anypony's mind simply by looking at it?
Zuche 3rd May 2012, 1:16 PM edit delete reply
But doesn't it just resemble a pretty butterfly?
xuincherguixe 5th May 2012, 3:40 AM edit delete reply
Elder Signs are things that, in theory, drive back the things that should not be. Or rather, their mooks.
xuincherguixe 3rd May 2012, 2:36 PM edit delete reply
Instead of Theory Craft, how about Tinfoil Hat?

Also, you should get together with the guy who wanted to make The Question as a pony.
Qin The Kirin 3rd May 2012, 9:08 AM edit delete reply
and I thought the idea of ​​a jedi in dungeons and dragons was an idea way too weird, evidently i forgot that one should not underestimate the ideas that people can get XD
Vulpis 27th Jul 2012, 11:05 PM edit delete reply
Jedi in D&D are dead easy--they're psions with glowing vorpal swords.
Sailorleo 6th May 2018, 3:32 PM edit delete reply
The current version of the Star Wars RPG is d20 based. All you'd have to do is convert the vitality/wounds system back into HP and everything else is already done for you.
moocow1452 3rd May 2012, 9:25 AM edit delete reply
Wait, so does that mean Sweetie Bell is sort of like Dawn from the Buffyverse? 0_o
Zuche 3rd May 2012, 9:32 AM edit delete reply
Glory be, where did you get that idea?
xuincherguixe 4th May 2012, 3:31 AM edit delete reply
In a way, yes. Although in my mind the thought that the spell was cast years ago, when Sweetiebelle was "born", if it was a recent casting? It would help justify *how* she suddenly comes to exist.

As if things weren't getting existential enough already.
Erin Palette 3rd May 2012, 10:30 AM edit delete reply
ITT post crazy character ideas that you've seen, done, or wanted to do.

Behold the legend of Alys Kaah!
Erin Palette 4th May 2012, 10:03 AM edit delete reply
Erin Palette
Oh, come on! Not a single comment about an awesome crazy gnome who rides an owlbear into combat?
Qazarar 4th May 2012, 4:41 PM edit delete reply
An awesome crazy gnome who rides owlbears into combat. Sounds like something I would come up with.
Bronymous 4th May 2012, 8:44 PM edit delete reply
Hence, no comments, because we've all done it.
Zarhon 3rd May 2012, 10:50 AM Alt-script: Changeling Battle edit delete reply
I was bored, so here's an alt-script of the changeling battle from "A Canterlot Wedding, part 2"!



DM: As you run into the palace courtyard, the sound of glass breaking echoes all around you. The changelings, who have been chipping away at the barrier till now, finally shattered it. The whole thing crumbles and vanishes. The sound of buzzing fills the air as a innumerable army of black, insectoid ponies sweeps towards Canterlot.

FS: What's with the skittles bag?

PP: Opponents.

FS: Oh my...

RD: Yeah. Looks like it's time to run.

TS: Agreed. How far is the chamber with the elements?

DM: It's should take you about five minute to reach it, at full gallop. The Changelings are closing in fast though, from all directions.

RD: I could make a dash for it! They can't outrun me!

TS: No way. Never split the party. Not to mention we have to be together to use them anyway.

FS: Let's just stick together, ok?

DM: As you gallop through the streets, several changelings notice you. They start flying towards you

AJ: If these are minions we should be able to handle em, they can't attack us without us hittin' em' first. Keep going girls!

DM: As they descend, they accelerate, their forms becoming engulfed in a jade colored flame.

RD: That can't be good. As an experienced flyer and pegasus coach, I'd like to make a sense motive check, to find a pattern, direction or motive in their flying.

DM: Okay, you get a +5 bonus.

RD: 23.

DM: They seem to be flying in a straight line, attempting to intercept you by flying towards the spot you are running towards. You judge when they reach you, they will accumulate 75% of the speed needed for a Sonic Rainboom. From their angle of descent and speed you deduce that they have no way of landing without hurting themselves in the process.

TS: I don't think they plan on attacking us, so much as "crashing into us like meteors".

AJ: Agreed. If we zig zag around while running, will that reduce their chance of them smashing into us?

DM: Yep. I'll give you a +3 bonus for it. Everyone roll.

TS: Bah.

DM: The changelings start crashing all around you, igniting a small explosion and leaving a crater where they land. One of them lands right in front of Twilight, forcing her to stop. It looks bloodied and is prone, but still capable of fighting. You win initiative by default.

TS: If it's prone, can I try jumping through, it to avoid fighting it?

DM: Go ahead.

TS: Hah! Natural 20!

DM: You trample on it's head and jump off it, stunning it and giving you enough height and speed to make up for the time you lost standing still.

FS: You rock! Woohoo~

DM: The Changelings keep dropping all around you. Some of them recover and start chasing after you on foot, while others fly ahead of you somewhere out of your vision. You are about 3/4 the way there as you climb up some stairs to a pavilion... Hold on a second while I count these...

AJ: Woah nelly...

DM: ...and there you see a horde of them, waiting for you in an army formation, cutting off your path to the bridge that leads to the hall of the elements.

PP: That's a lot of skittles....

TS: Any of them look different or special somehow?

DM: The ones in front of you are all identical except for one which is wearing a special set of armor. He appears to be this squad's leader. The changelings that were chasing you arrive and proceed to surround you. Most of them are mostly bloodied and hurt from the landings. Roll for initiative.

RD: Booyah Natural 20! I shift to approach the nearest changelings.

DM: You do so. A pony looking identical to Rainbow Dash shifts towards you and stares at you.

RD: Wait what? I thought I was firs first. Can I do a sense motive?

DM: As you try to figure out whats going on, Rainbow Dash takes advantage of this and attacks you. He hits.

RD: Ouch! What the heck? I was first!

DM: Actually, you were both first, the changeling also rolled a natural 20. It however chose to shift forms as a minor action and ready an attack against you. In any case, they all start shifting forms. In a matter of seconds, the whole battlefield is filled with identical copies of all six of you.

TS: I warn everyone of them being shapeshifters.

DM: Multiple opposing Twilight Sparkles repeat your words. They sound exactly like you.

RY: Uhm, how is this going to work exactly?

DM: Just consider them all as under the influence of the bard 'Veil' spell, but without the +5 power bonus to discern the changelings. Consider each target that isn't an unshifted changeling as both friend and foe as far as targeting is concerned.

TS: Don't let them distract you! We have to get to the elements of Harmony!

PP: Hmmm... DM, you say ALL the changelings shifted into us?

DM: Yes, they mimic you perfectly in body and form, but they can't mimic your personality. Most of them are minions, but there is a elite amongst them.

PP: So what you're saying is, the changelings can't tell each other apart either? Everyone ready an action, I've got a plan.

FS: What's the plan?

PP: We charge all in at once, then everypony except me spread out around the battlefield.

FS: I thought splitting the party was bad...

PP: It will work in our favor: I'll cast 'Frenzied Ryhthm'!

TS: Hey, that's pretty smart. If the changelings start hitting each other randomly...

AJ: ... then the rest of em' join in on all that fightin', thinking they're fightin' us!

DM: Good thinking. I'll allow it.

RY: Very well then. Let's do it then!

FS: I'm not so sure about this...

Everypony: CHARGE!

Bronymous 3rd May 2012, 11:38 AM edit delete reply
WAAAAAAAAAAY TL;DR. If your gonna do that, break it up into parts.
Zarhon 3rd May 2012, 11:44 AM edit delete reply
Edit: Fixed. Part two of alt script.


*Several rounds later*

DM: You all lose sight of each other. In the result chaos of the fight, everyone starts fighting en masse, most of them mobbing on each other, fighting with a single opponent, or looking for suspicious ponies to attack.

RD: Did we all lose sight of each other?

DM: Some of you did, some didn't. I'll give all of you notes of what you see and who is who, if applicable. Otherwise consider yourself out of combat unless directly engaged. You'll all take turns in private. Fluttershy, you go first.

FS: Those minions hit me a bunch, I can't afford any more hits. If I try to use healing, will it cause anyone to notice?

DM: Yeah. Too flashy. They'd all mob you.

FS: Can I run out of the battle?

DM: You're surrounded by fighting ponies. Approaching any of them risks getting damaged. You could try flying, but you would be noticed instantly.

FS: Ok, I look around. Is there anypony acting differently? 11.

DM: You don't see any of your friends, but you DO see a trio of Fluttershy's approaching you, unengaged. They notice you as well.

FS: Oh my. Uhm... Sense motive? 12.

DM: They are most certainly hostile. They approach closer, suspicious of you eying them. Whatever you do next, make it count.

FS: Oh no... I don't dare bluffing them...

DM: Well then, if you do nothing the-

FS: Wait! I'll intimidate them! Um, I mean, I'll pretend I'm mean and tough like they are, so they go for someone else. That counts as intimidate, right?

DM: I guess it does. Roll it.

FS: Whew, 18.

DM: You punch the air a few times and direct them in the opposite direction. They continue along their way.

FS: Okay, I move... left, and try to find my friends again. Oh no, a natural 1.

DM: As you move around the battlefield, you fail to notice a gang of four Rainbow Dash clones as you almost bump into them. Roll for initiative.

FS: Okay. Oh Not again!

DM: You freeze in panic, putting yourself prone. Well I guess your turn is over. RD, you're up. Here's your note...

FS: Sorry girls, I got myself trapped...

Zarhon 3rd May 2012, 11:45 AM edit delete reply
Part three!


RD: Lemme see that note. Bwahahahah! Perfect! I surprise attack the nearest one! Yeah! Natural 20! That triggers 'Rampage'!

DM: Yeah, they're both out.

RD: And I use an action point for the last one.

DM: Yeah, it's dead too. Anything else?

RD: Yeah, I help Fluttershy up.

DM: Ok, Fluttershy, you've reunited with Rainbow Dash...


DM: You and Twilight are pretty much surrounded by a band of AJ's, most of them hostile. They all take a turn moving towards you...

AJ: Not so fast. I use 'Open the range' to get next to Twilight, so we can fight, back to back, without getting our flanks, well, flanked.

DM: Okay, as you do so, you hear a whirl of magic. Twilight shifts into a changeling.

AJ: Aw horse-apples, I forgot about that...

DM: It succeeds in grappling you. The rest of your clones soon follow, helping to keep you restrained.

AJ: Make sure to say that I yell mah' identity if the others help me out, or somethin'.


TS: Okay, I'm fighting just one so far? I use 'color spray'. 14. Would that remove their disguise?

DM: You hit, and yes it would. It is now dizzied and prone.

TS: Can I see anypony?

DM: You see a bunch of AJ clones piling up on top of another AJ. You can't tell from this distance who is who.

TS: Okay, I use my 'Prismatic beams' on the whole bunch of them. AJ will probably resist it.

DM: You succeed. A single pony remains slightly dazed, but unhurt while the rest are dead or blasted off.

TS: I levitate it and take a closer look. 15

DM: It's her. She confirms it by yelling. You don't see any of the others though...


DM: Okay Pinkie, After your song, a single changeling remained. It seems much more confident than the others, as it shifts forms in front of you wildly.

PP: How cute! I use 'Fast Friends'. Woohoo, a 18!

DM: Yeah it can't act against you this turn.

PP: Can I roll bluff or diplomacy against it to make it waste another turn after this one?

DM: How would you do that?

PP: I happily ask it to shift into me. 19!

DM: You succeed. The Changeling rolls it's eyes and decides to humor you, shifting into you with a "Ta-dah!" pose. It wastes an additional turn as a result.

PP: Perfect. I cast 'Allegro'. To pull my friends towards me.

DM: Explain how would you know who to pull?

PP: I may not know where my friends are, but I know every pony in Ponyville, and these changelings are NOT my friends OR from Ponyville! So technically, I know exactly who here is from Ponyville and who isn't, because I've never seen them before, but I've seen my friends lots of times before?

DM: ...

PP: Or I could make a disbelieve check?

DM: ...You know what, I'm not even going to argue with you...

Zarhon 3rd May 2012, 11:51 AM edit delete reply
Last part of alt-script.


DM: Right, so Pinkie Pie uses 'Allegro' and pretty much pulls all of you together again.

RY: Hmph, I haven't even had my turn yet.

PP: Okay, for my last action, I target my clone with 'Misdirected Mark' to mark it for Twilight and buff her next strike.

TS: Nice!

PP: Oh, and I make it look like I'm shooting Twilight's magic like a minigun.

RD: That. Is. Awesome.

DM: Twilight's turn.

PP: Go nuts on him!

TS: Quickened magic missile on the mark, split magic missile on anything left standing!

DM: Three down. You exit combat. The fighting has lessened as most of the changelings have fought each other. There are quite a few remaining, though they aren't paying attention to you specifically.

TS: I think we all know what that means girls...


RD: 'Rage Drake’s Frenzy'! Come get a beating!


AJ: 'Careful Attack'! Yeehaw!


FS: Um, 'Call of the Beast'?


RY: 'Knockout', you ruffian!


PP: 'Rhythm of disorientation'! Come on everypony, strike, strike, strike!


DM: ...And that's the last of them. The path is pretty much open.

TS: Great job everypony! The Elements are as good as ours!

AJ: I wouldn't be too sure of that...

FS: Eeep!

PP: What? It's just a few bags of OOOOH yeah we're toast.


Well, that's all folks. Hope you liked it. Here are some explanations of what powers they used.

Veil: Puts illusions on your allies to make them look like your enemies.
Frenzied Rhythm: Controls enemies, to attack each other.
Rampage: Free attack after a barbarian critical hit.
Open the range: Shift a bunch of squares when an opponent moves.
Color spray: Damage & daze spell.
Prismatic beams: Cone attack with 3 seperate resistable effects (poison, fire, daze).
Fast Friends: Enemy can't attack you for a turn, unless it's attacked itself.
Allegro: Pull allies and yourself somewhere.
Misdirected Mark: Attack + Mark a target for an ally.
Rage Drake’s Frenzy: Free extra attacks for killing opponents
Call of the Beast: Enemies hurt themselves by attacking.
Rhythm of disorientation: Damage, knockdown, and free extra attacks for allies.
Zuche 3rd May 2012, 1:26 PM edit delete reply
As much as I enjoy working through other mechanical/rp interpretation of the show's events, I thought Pinkie Pie's argument for knowing who to pull was a particularly nice touch. Thank you, Zarhon.
XandZero2 3rd May 2012, 9:29 PM edit delete reply
Man, you went all out Zarhon, and yeah, we definitely need to see an Pony RPG quest dealing with the Changelings. That two-parter is just begging to be made into an adventure.
Digo 3rd May 2012, 12:31 PM edit delete reply
Long time ago, I took part in a game that combined Vampire the Masquerade, Mage the Assention, and Werewolf the Apocalypse.
The GM allowed you to play as an archtype from any of the three settings and the group ended up with three vampires, two werewolves, and a mage.

And then there was me.

I like playing something a bit underpowered for the challenge. So what character did I draw up? Dana Scully, X-Files. My background was that the X-Files branch knew of these inhumans and assigned me to journey with them as they needed to extract an important oracle in Mexico City from equally supernatural people.

The team thought I was way underpowered at first, but they didn't realize that I was a big X-Files watcher at the time (The show was starting its 3rd season). And while the team all had abilities to... well "murder" things, not one of them had what would really be useful in tracking down one woman in a highly populated city--

As Dana Scully I had investigative, interrogative, and forensic skills. I also know some basic Spanish which surprisingly came in handy in Mexico City.
Yeah, this team put the "DUMP" in "INT is their Dump Stat".

True Story-- the first near "TPK" of the game came when the team was riding in a pickup truck to a remote location outside Mexico City. It was dark and the driver was arguing with the middle passenger in the cab over directions. I was in the right passenger seat trying to keep my mouth shut. The werewolves in the back truck bed were teaching the mage how to howel properly at the moon.
The GM realized the driver wasn't even looking at the road anymore in his argument so he was asking what everyone was doing. They continued their shennanigans, but I caught the hint.

"I buckle my seat belt and go limp."

Thus when we hit the retaining wall at 70 mph, I was the only one still inside the truck and not, say... in the cactus ridden ditch on the other side. :)
darkwulf23 3rd May 2012, 1:27 PM edit delete reply
Ah, you employed the one stat that can never be covered in game mechanics no matter what you're playing. Common Sense. It's a game breaking stat because few take advantage of it and many try to defy it.
Vulpis 27th Jul 2012, 11:15 PM edit delete reply
This is why GURPS has it as a specifically buyable Advantage. If you pass a check, the GM has to *tell* you when you're doing something stupid. ;-)
Zuche 3rd May 2012, 1:30 PM edit delete reply
So, when the mage went flying, did anyone break into "Magic Car Pet Ride"?
xuincherguixe 4th May 2012, 2:43 AM edit delete reply
Mage, Werewolf, and Vampires all together? I'd say that there's serious balance issues there, but frankly the game isn't even balanced between two vampires of similar levels of experience so it doesn't make much difference. And if they were all combat optimized there's fewer problems.

Things really get messy if you start taking advantage of things like mind control. Sadly my own Malkavian was too Lawful Good to use his Dementation (That's what Sweetieplayer used to drive the Prince of New York insane by the way. Magic vampire insanity powers), so I didn't get much practice on how to best use that stuff. Used a lot of Passion to amplify or reduce emotions. Wasn't really sure what my limits were with that one. One of the problems with the game.

Got a lot of Obfuscate. And wealth. I shot other vampires in the chest with crossbow bolts. Didn't really get a chance to, but in theory I'd have used submachine guns too. Which sounds like a bad idea (Vampires don't react to gun shot wounds as badly as people do), except that they would be incendiary rounds (which vampires DO react badly to. VERY badly in fact.)
Digo 4th May 2012, 6:14 AM edit delete reply
They were mostly built to fight, so they had few (if any) abilities like mind control. If they did, they weren't clever enough to employ them.

This is the party where one of the vampires went from our hotel room down a few blocks in the day to try and grab a few drinks for the team. Never thought to send the HUMAN to do it.
Yeah, he came back... uh, "tanned".
The MunchKING 3rd May 2012, 11:00 PM edit delete reply
The MunchKING
Actually, Wizardry is most based on book learning, right?

As such, thematically at least, I would think super-intelligent robots that could be progammed with contents of entire libraries in their head would make EXCELLENT wizards...
xuincherguixe 4th May 2012, 2:12 AM edit delete reply
This of course depends on how magic works.

If you want to get technical (and apparently I do at least), Sweetiebot here is really more of a Cyborg. May or may not be flesh, but the important part here is that she has free will.

Can an entity generate spells arbitrarily, according to a set of parameters? If so then yeah, Robots would make terrifying wizards. But it kind of robs wizardry of it's magic (see what I did there?) if it could work that way. The fact wizards require an intelligence score means that what I just said was pretty much irrelevant. The assembly line robots at Ford can't cast magic missile at the darkness (Toyota presumably).

In the game I'm currently playing in? Wizards are inherently spiritual people. And they are also scientists. They observe discrete mystical phenomenon and are able to reproduce effects. What this means is that in my D&D game, Sweetiebot could certainly become a wizard. But she is also scientifically impossible given our current understanding of cognition. That is to say, we can't make computers that think. We can only make computers that compute. While this in theory makes her a paradox, Free Will is itself paradoxical.

Then there's that whole other issue of if Free Will itself exists. But hey, it's fantasy. We get to choose these sorts of things.
xuincherguixe 4th May 2012, 2:30 AM edit delete reply
... Which I suppose means that at least in my game wizards are *not* mostly based on book learning.

Part programming, part Buddhism. What's in a spell book is how to generate an effect still, but not everyone can do it.

Spell Scrolls have costs associated with them. Implying that the scroll takes care of a lot of the weird and heavy stuff that comes from a life time of deep levels of introspection.
Raxon 20th Jun 2012, 9:06 AM edit delete reply
Magic is simple to understand. Knowledge is power. Books are knowledge, compressed into a small space. Librarians have the ability to warp space.

Discworld explains so many things.
Zuche 4th May 2012, 6:28 AM edit delete reply
Wait. We're discussing a robot unicorn wizard, and the problem is that a thinking machine is scientifically impossible?
Digo 4th May 2012, 11:18 AM edit delete reply
Let's open the can further--
In my GURPS Robots book there's a piece of hardware you can install in a robot called the "Mana Coprocessor". Yes, it lets robots cast spells.

At some point my group wondered if there's a minimum intelligence needed of the robot. Otherwise we were going to install this thing in a toaster and watch it fireball a loaf of bread.
kriss1989 4th May 2012, 8:41 PM edit delete reply
Well if it's not intelligent, you'd need to program the spell into it AND how to trigger it. You'd also need to aim. So you'd need a spellcaster to work out how the spell is cast and a genius engineer/programer to get translate it so that a machine could do it.
xuincherguixe 4th May 2012, 4:33 PM edit delete reply
Another guest author was surprised at when people bring up logic in fantasy games as well.

Several commentators felt the issue was internal consistency.
Vulpis 27th Jul 2012, 11:17 PM edit delete reply fact, you might want to talk to Diane Duane about that, with her Young Wizards series...
McBehrer 4th May 2012, 12:51 AM edit delete reply
The sixth panel is the best, most important panel of the comment.
*reading Seaty Belt's character sheet*
... she's a robot?
xuincherguixe 4th May 2012, 1:31 AM edit delete reply
Glad someone brought that up!

I felt a picture like that with no dialogue got across the kind of personality Sweetieplayer has.

... Which is to say he's a troll. Anything beyond that? Well the reader can draw their own conclusions. I have my ideas, but they're wrong. The characters are however they've been seen as.
kriss1989 4th May 2012, 5:50 PM edit delete reply
I have a friend who does that stuff. You let him make "whatever" and you get level 2.

He doesn't just make out there characters, he makes "and so we need to retire your character to be a level 8" characters.
The MunchKING 5th May 2012, 12:23 AM edit delete reply
The MunchKING
I had one D&D game where the GM told us we could be anything we wanted, species wise, as long as we only took one class level.

I was a Level 1 Tarresque Fighter, and my bud was seeing how many templates he could stack onto a troll.

Good times, good times.

Suprisingly the game never actually got going. :P
kriss1989 4th May 2012, 6:29 AM edit delete reply
Anyone ever: I'm a Malkavain!

Me: ....*gets up**walks over calmly**jumps out window and runs for dear life*
xuincherguixe 4th May 2012, 4:39 PM edit delete reply
Now that I think about it, I think this is how I feel about White Wolf products in general.
kriss1989 4th May 2012, 6:04 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, my first exposure to Masquerade involved a rather large group. A Gengrel, a Ventrue, a Nosferatu, a Toreador, a rouge Tzimisce, and three Malkavians. I joined in as a Bruja.

Let's just say that three crazy people and a person prone to flying into blood rages is not a good combo.
xuincherguixe 4th May 2012, 7:07 PM edit delete reply
The real problem with Malkavians, is that most people use them as an excuse to do something stupid. Think Twilight Snapple.

How they're supposed to work, is some of the darkest and most depressing things in an already dark and depressing game.

My own Malkavian had the approach of being a discordian super hero. I've been told that his real insanity wasn't his mental illness, but that he had hope.

And the more I thought about that, the more this bothered me. Even if it was probably true. It's more or less saying, "Yeah. You know that end of the world thing you were trying to work against? Yeah. You shouldn't have bothered. Would have saved yourself a lot of trouble if you'd just gone ahead and killed yourself."
kriss1989 4th May 2012, 8:53 PM edit delete reply
Or say, spend fifteen minutes interrogating a fire hydrant because they think it's a disguised lycan because auspex revealed one had been in that same area?
xuincherguixe 4th May 2012, 9:09 PM edit delete reply
I'd like to say they're doing it wrong. But, the storyteller could be a strange person. So I'm going to say that sounds like it was *probably* stupid.
Curb 4th May 2012, 4:06 PM edit delete reply
I'd have to say, character wise, the cast for an RPG using the Rifts system to create an anthro-ponyverse. One of the lead characters is a Samurai Stallion named Broken Blade, which is also his cutie mark. He works with a group of skilled ponies from around Equestria to deal with the problems the Royal Guard can't, all with Celestia's authorization. He wields a number of blades, each special in some way, though rarely technically modified. Other Team members are still being designed.
Curb 4th May 2012, 6:49 PM edit delete reply
Update - I decided that the Mane 6 for the game will use the designs the Lauren Faust originally wanted to use. Also, Trixie and Ditzy/Derpy will be avalible characters. Working out basic details, locations, other races, monsters...and Sea Ponies are REAL, as NPCs.
Anvildude 7th May 2012, 9:43 AM edit delete reply
Shikome Kido Mi 5th May 2012, 3:43 AM edit delete reply
Wait, if Wizards use INT based book learning for magic, wouldn't robots make the best wizards?
Raxon 20th Jun 2012, 9:12 AM edit delete reply
That's only when their programming is not from the internet.
SgtFrog 12th Sep 2012, 4:22 PM edit delete reply
Oh wow, Sweetie Belle's face in the sixth panel! How can you say no to that face?!
NeutralDemon 28th Mar 2013, 3:01 PM edit delete reply
Really Freindship is Witchcraft?!