Page 786 - Ban She

4th Aug 2016, 6:00 AM
Ban She
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Newbiespud 4th Aug 2016, 6:00 AM edit delete
Newbiespud
RIP whistle gag. We hardly tolerated ye.

The previous update's title was in reference to a video game my friend GreatDinn (Tibbs' player) streamed a while back, and we've finally started uploading the whole darn infuriating playthrough.

31 Comments:

ANW 4th Aug 2016, 6:10 AM edit delete reply
Gaggaggaggaggaggaggaggaggaggag
Run-on gag.(Sorry, couldn't resist)
Funny, annoying, or hard to see.
You guys ever had some?
Venseyness 4th Aug 2016, 6:55 AM edit delete reply
We had a friend join us once who had no idea how D&D worked or how to play, and we just ran with whatever he wanted becasue he was only in it for one meeting.
He ended up making an insane character called "Meat Horse" who was a god-like horse who ran around and devoured humanoids whole.
The friend, as we were expecting, hasn't joined us for a game since, but at least once in every campaign or side game we ran, Meat Horse has had a cameo.
Joe the Rat 4th Aug 2016, 7:35 AM edit delete reply
Peppermint Lotion.

Before I took over running the group, the previous GM had an NPC cleric of the "good" god, who in his former life (he spend 300 years trapped in a jar) was chief torturer and executioner for the Empire. He had a Peter Lorre voice and a penchant for describing the horrible, awful things he could do to someone, followed by "...but that wouldn't be very nice." He was Creepy. As. Hell. You didn't want him to heal you. Or anything else than involved touching you.

Working our way through a snake-person infested government building, we a room full of sinister looking torture devices, and a bottle of peppermint lotion. The Cleric immediately claimed the lotion. He wanted to use it on people constantly, and Pthun forbid you needed healing...

To this day, all you have to do to creep out the players is have a bottle of peppermint lotion show up somewhere.
Freemage 4th Aug 2016, 7:42 AM edit delete reply
For years, our various groups of shifting players and GMs managed to maintain one constant--sheep. At some point, sheep would make an appearance, like a Stan Lee movie cameo.

I believe the ultimate appearance was in a horror game--zombie sheep.
TipJay 4th Aug 2016, 1:05 PM edit delete reply
Our group has more or less the same, only with goats instead.
Solitary Performance 4th Aug 2016, 9:50 AM edit delete reply
I've got a run-on gag. The "Insane Wizard", Jickle Twang. He was a 3.5e wizard, with the alignment "Chaotic", and followed the god, "Dee Emm". His familiar? An animated bear trap that doubled as a belt, and as a means of money protection. His defining outfit? A mithril chain shirt (by stats) straight jacket, with a chain coming out either sleeve that he could attack with (either 5ft in each sleeve, or a 10ft reach swing as he basically flung it through one sleeve).
The annoying gag part? He became a cameo gag character after we basically did very little in the session he was made for, but boy could you go, "It'd be unlikely to find him through this door" and you'd find him through the door. This did, however, allow me to, for the rare times I DM, use the improbable nature of the character to explain how you can get anything for gear/enchantments in any town, as there was always a door to Jickle's emporium of stuff (imagine something like WalMart [or WinCo/Waremart if you're from the west coast], where everything you need is somewhere), and it usually came with a complimentary coin attachment for your belt to hold all your money ever, without weighing you down.
Digo Dragon 4th Aug 2016, 10:19 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
An old running gag from back in the AD&D era started when I made this terrible "che-che-che" sound effect to let the players know that some castle guards were walking by their hiding spot. It was so cheesy that they couldn't help but laugh, yet, for years after that they'd make the same sound effect for guards whenever they ran a game.

One running gag early in the Fallout campaign I'm in was that my character, Doc, would spectacularly fail Medicine checks for minor procedures. The less complex the action, the more spectacularly bad the dice would roll. It was really weird that the RNG would seem to consciously know this. At one point I rolled Medicine to get an unconscious body onto a bed as a joke that somehow Doc would kill the patient just by moving him.

Crit failed. Dislocated the patient's shoulder.

Thankfully the RNG stopped being so weird about that. It tends to roll pretty randomly now, if still a bit on the high side.
Malroth 4th Aug 2016, 10:28 AM edit delete reply
Malroth
Goblins. After there was a heroic multimillionare PC goblin demoman named Squee who died saving the world in a firey explosion all Goblins the PC's encounter claim to be named Squee and want "their stuff back". If multiple goblins are encountered at the same time each claims the other's are lying conmen and that they are the only REAL Squee.
Jennifer 4th Aug 2016, 10:50 AM edit delete reply
I enjoy the "explosive runes" gag from Order of the Stick so much that I've started using it in my own campaign. The players are too new to check for traps, but they'll learn... eventually.
Kynrasian 4th Aug 2016, 7:30 PM edit delete reply
Kynrasian
I may have mentioned this before, but I once got critted three times in a row. By pineapples.

The fruit merchant responsible was a recurring character since then, right up until the end of our 5e playtest campaign, which never did get a full run.

My only regret was that I didn't get the chance to use pineapples in a fight. I always wanted to look at a perplexed NPC or party member looking at me as if about to say, "You can throw fireballs, what are you doing?", only to hand them a pineapple and say, "Trust me."
Chris 4th Aug 2016, 9:15 PM edit delete reply
I remember one PARTICULARLY annoying running joke from a high-school campaign back in the day--and annoying seems to be the order of the day, or at least, of the comic.

One of the new players, in the first session, got injured and asked how he could regain his health. I told him he could get one hit point back the next day if he rested the night (the cleric was already tapped out). He asked if he needed to sleep until tomorrow, and I told him no, his character just had to relax and take it easy.

Being a teenager, he asked if he could heal by masturbating.

For the rest of the campaign, the "joke" was that, whenever I announced that the characters could recover a hit point after resting, all the players would make jack-off motions while screaming "HEALTH POOOOOINT!"

Why no, there were no girls in that group, why do you ask?
Specter 5th Aug 2016, 1:11 AM edit delete reply
Specter
One time playing 5th edition we were in a high fantasy/ semi-steam punk campaign. This is about 15, 16 sessions in I think, and we have just beaten the first boss of the campaign. So our group has regrouped at our temporary hideout to discuss what we've found out. Notes of importance to state before what happened; This was a war of the gods versus mortals who seek to change the world (and essentially get rid of the gods), The gods have been slowly choosing people of the world as their champions to fight these villains, and I have been actively fighting against the gods (and to a point the DM) to the point of not being their champion.

Granted, not a smart choice on my part, but it work RP wise. Being a dragonborn my character saw himself more as one of the descendants of the great beasts (who were ancient monsters that didn't spawn as one of the god's creations), and I have been foolhardily been trying to ascend to great beast-hood.

To the point at hand, I had to use the rest room out of character and went off to do so. During my absence, one of the NPC's had reveled himself as Bahamut, one of the original great beasts that still lived. They had a small chat about what was at stake, and (I think) everyone got a small token as appreciation for aiding him earlier. I returned shortly after Bahamut had left, and the first thing I hear from one of the other players is "Wow, that was cool!"

I was not a happy dragonborn, and I was sad to find out later that the DM made that encounter specifically for my dragonborn to meet his role model (in a sense) and no one noticed I was missing.

Now whenever we play a game and I excuse myself from the table for the restroom, the DM of that campaign would loudly say "And you meet Bahamut" as I'm leaving.
Mykin 5th Aug 2016, 8:04 AM edit delete reply
Mykin
My cleric has an interesting quirk to him. He's a half-elf, but after finding out that his elven father sacrificed his entire village to a dragon for wealth (and then promptly got eaten by said dragon), he doesn't really like to identify with his elven half all that much. This becomes problematic considering that he's the most elven looking half-elf in existence and elves tend to treat him like a reject every time they see him, thus souring his opinion of them even more. So when exchanges like this happen:

Barbarian: Dang it Taiyth, why do you have to be such a pansy elf?

My cleric: Half-Elf!!

Every single time, without fail, that was his reaction to being called a pansy elf. And it stuck to the point where, regardless of the campaign, whoses GMing, what the game is, or even if I'm in the group, whenever anyone refers to that pansy elven cleric, you will always hear someone indignantly shouting the words "HALF-ELF!!!" somewhere off in the distance.

Man, I miss playing that character.
Nixitur 5th Aug 2016, 5:20 PM edit delete reply
Nixitur
A running gag in our Pathfinder sessions is that we compare anything large to snow elephants.
This started with an ice dragon. We tried to find out information about it and the dwarves described it to be about as large as a snow elephant. What made this stick in our mind was that none of our characters had any frame of reference for that. Throughout that specific adventure, whenever someone described the dragon, one of the first things they'd say is that it's the size of a snow elephant.
I'm not sure why, but it amused us greatly. Since then, whenever our group talks with NPCs about any particularly large structure, creature or vehicle, the first thing they'll jump to is to suggest that it's the size of a snow elephant.
Jennifer 4th Aug 2016, 7:30 AM edit delete reply
Awesome, awesome title for this strip. The perfect pun.
Digo Dragon 4th Aug 2016, 10:20 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Yes, I too think it was clever.
Space Jawa 4th Aug 2016, 7:33 AM edit delete reply
Well, I liked the whistle gag. :^P
Winged Cat 4th Aug 2016, 1:09 PM edit delete reply
Does that make this a whistlestop?
referee 4th Aug 2016, 7:38 AM edit delete reply
Before people starts gushing about the episode, I have to tell this: It was very poorly written.
Newbiespud 4th Aug 2016, 8:19 AM edit delete reply
Newbiespud
"Aha! I'll preempt others' opinions... with my own opinion! It's foolproof!"
Guest 4th Aug 2016, 8:51 AM edit delete reply
It's better than having my opinion preempted by theirs... ;)
Newbiespud 4th Aug 2016, 9:05 AM edit delete reply
Newbiespud
Is it really that important, though? Does it actually matter whose opinion "wins"?
Pablo360 4th Aug 2016, 9:47 AM edit delete reply
Pablo360
Yes, because being able to arbitrarily declare yourself the winner in something that has no defined rules and is wholly subjective anyway is more fulfilling than a robust discussion on the flaws and merits of a particular work of art.
referee 4th Aug 2016, 3:08 PM edit delete reply
Whatever. How's this, then?

Twilight Sparkle: "I wish Princess Celestia didn't need my help with the friendship summit in Griffonstone".

Can't start to count on how many levels this breaks the established character of Faithful Student Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Frienship. But hey, stick to straw-men if that's your schtick, by all means.
Newbiespud 4th Aug 2016, 4:14 PM edit delete reply
Newbiespud
That's much better. It was more the "I have to get my word in before anyone else's" that made me mad.

We're using pseudonyms on the internet. Everyone you see has a little straw in them.
referee 4th Aug 2016, 5:36 PM edit delete reply
Fair enough. :) Sorry for my abrasive nature.

There's also the issue of Daring Do missing something Buckin' Obvious so that we can let Quibble solve that... "puzzle", and the rushed "hey, I get it now" moment he gets at the end.
Malroth 5th Aug 2016, 7:02 PM edit delete reply
Malroth
you mean you're really not an evil looking potato? I am saddened.
Guest 4th Aug 2016, 8:44 PM edit delete reply
'Bob"

the Npc created to by the GM to get hit in the face, say something silly, pass out... over and over.

he got hit with so much stuff. weird stuff, too. Like a live chicken, the litch's dead skull, and the dwarf.
Sanya 5th Aug 2016, 5:03 PM edit delete reply
In one campaign, I played a White Witch who had Prehensile Hair. I accidentally misread the reach of said prehensile hair as 10 ft per level. Since we were 10th level, I thought I had 100 ft reach. I used the hair to climb octopus-style over the wall of the enemy fortress, carrying the party along with me, utterly bypassing the use of the secret password we'd (theoretically) gotten from an enemy we'd captured a few sessions ago. It took the GM about 15 minutes to figure out what was wrong with the situation, but since we have a rule that you can't 'undo' actions you've already allowed players to take, that character's Prehensile Hair was deemed 100 ft long for the rest of that session. In revenge, I was told to roleplay the use of said hair. I ended up doing this bizarre flailing octopus-dance THING while yelling a very garbled "Prehensile Hair!", knocking over my bowl of ice-cream in the process, and causing the entire group to fall out of their chairs laughing. To this day, whenever a character does something particularly silly or some kind of tentacles are used in combat, someone in the group will do the dance while saying "Prehensile Hair!"
Sanya 5th Aug 2016, 5:24 PM edit delete reply
We also had an evil campaign--Way of the Wicked--that was derailed almost from the get-go. I played a catfolk swashbuckler-chef (yes, I got the idea from Nyanta from Lo Horizon, albeit evil). For the first book of the campaign, I barely participated in combat, because my cooking skills were actually more useful. First, me and the rogue took out an entire fortress by putting sleeping poison in the stew I made, and then Coup De Grace-ing all of the inhabitants (four out of three hundred enemies managed to make their saves to not fall asleep.) When we infiltrated a town to give ourselves false identities, I opened a restaurant and literally subverted 80% of the town's leaders to our side by cooking for them. When we took over a secondary base and captured the bandits squatting there, we kept them from trying to escape by having my character explain his favorite recipe for cooking human meat to them--he didn't consider eating other sentient creatures to be cannibalism, as long as they weren't feline. When we met a 100th level sorcerer from another dimension, my character jokingly offered to cook him dinner if he would remove the curse from a particular item that had about ten minutes until it summoned a creature that would destroy us all... and he accepted. He then got wined and dined so well that he not only freed us from the item, but started a business partnership with the group's mage, and advertised for me to his other extradimensional sorcerer friends. For a while, the entire party's first reaction to any foe was 'can we convince them to let the swashbuckler feed them, or do we have to fight?'

This is the same campaign where the DM foolishly gave us both a Helm of Adjustable Alignment (it literally has a toggle on the back to change the wearer's alignment) and Shackles of Enslavement. We have ended up capturing and converting more enemies to our cause than we've killed. Including a Silver Dragon PALADIN (now an anti-paladin) who was defeated in single combat by the swashbuckler (in two hits, no less!) due to some fast-talking on the mage's part that convinced him that it wouldn't be 'fair' to fight me while in dragon-form. Since I got ridiculous buffs to initiative, critting, and precision damage, I manage to double-crit and take him down to negative health before he had a chance to attack me. We then changed his alignment to Lawful Evil with the helmet and spent the next month convincing him (through use of food and logic) that he didn't just want to serve me due to losing the fight, but wanted to be personally loyal to our group and cause.

We also have a Bag of Holding full of half-dead angels, devas, and other celestial beings, because the rogue keeps throwing them in there the moment they hit negative health. It's now full, but we've got another Bag left...
RuebyRose 5th Aug 2016, 6:35 PM edit delete reply
Every character in every campaign I've ever played has a horrible habit of collecting any "neat" animal, and keeping it. (Usually for some sort of eugenics-gene-splicing-project) It's so bad that at one point, I had a Nessian Hell Hound Cohort named Kincade that would breed with anything that would sit still long enough, just to see what the puppies would be like...