Page 78 - Words of Sage Advice

4th Feb 2012, 6:00 AM
Words of Sage Advice
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 4th Feb 2012, 6:00 AM edit delete
Notice: I've moved and am now between jobs, so any donation via PayPal at the top or my Patreon page would be greatly appreciated.

100 Comments:

Karilyn 4th Feb 2012, 6:11 AM edit delete reply
Ramn raight, rou reed ro rake a Rooby Roo rarody!
Classic Steve 4th Feb 2012, 12:45 PM edit delete reply
Rarody, or Rarity?
Kiana 5th Feb 2012, 1:09 PM edit delete reply
Heh, I was going to say "I don't think Rarity would approve of that."
Kaleopolitus 4th Feb 2012, 7:27 AM edit delete reply
Kaleopolitus
I just realized how this comic has been building up it's own group of dedicated commenters.
Umiyuri, Bronimous, Ranubis, Kiana, Akouma and so forth.
Pretty awesome group we've got going here, not even mentioning the stories you guys have.
kingkirby42 4th Feb 2012, 9:01 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, I enjoy reading all these awesome stories too. I would share more (I do on occasion), but I only have a few, since I just started playing D&D about a year ago :P
Akouma 4th Feb 2012, 9:17 AM edit delete reply
It's this webcomic that made me realize how far my campaign has come because I have so many stories from it. I think my favorite is still the ghost paladin escapade.
Kiana 4th Feb 2012, 9:41 AM edit delete reply
I warrant naming?

Aw, that's so sweet.
Bronymous 4th Feb 2012, 10:06 AM edit delete reply
...Oh, what? i wasn't paying attention, what happened? Someone said my name, I heard it!
Kaleopolitus 4th Feb 2012, 10:18 AM edit delete reply
Kaleopolitus
Please mind that I just named people I noticed over time :P I didn't actually base it on facts or anything, so don't be offended if I didn't include you.

It just means you weren't cool enough to have talked with me! *Gets zapped by lightning*
Kiana 4th Feb 2012, 10:25 AM edit delete reply
*holsters storm cloud?*

What? I like the lightning. And being hammy. https://d.facdn.net/art/kiana/1312883627.kiana_stormyrage.png See?
Akouma 4th Feb 2012, 10:44 AM edit delete reply
Hey guys, have you seen my storm cloud? Someone seems to have stolen it while I wasn't looking!
Kaleopolitus 4th Feb 2012, 10:59 AM edit delete reply
Kaleopolitus
"And so, another victim falls to the unexplained indoors lightning strikes..."
PikalaxALT 6th Feb 2012, 2:57 PM edit delete reply
Careful, Kiana. You don't want to cause any more damage than you've already done.
Kiana 6th Feb 2012, 6:15 PM edit delete reply
I've caused damage?
Kiana 6th Feb 2012, 6:19 PM edit delete reply
I'm just sharing stories and making jokes, same as... just about every other commenter on this comic.

I'm honestly curious how I've 'caused damage' in some way.
Kaleopolitus 7th Feb 2012, 5:20 AM edit delete reply
Kaleopolitus
Mostly the zapping me to near death, I imagine.
Kiana 7th Feb 2012, 5:30 AM edit delete reply
Ah, so that was probably just a joke that went completely over my head?

I blame general unhealthiness. I woke up barely able to stand upright, the whole world felt like it was rocking back and forth... Current guess is: Improper breathing at night = poor brain function. Which I'm hoping is wrong, really.

I'm feeling roughly normal right now.
Kaleopolitus 4th Feb 2012, 8:40 AM edit delete reply
Kaleopolitus
Wait, what? You're his girlfriend? (Redundant repition, yay!)

I would never have guessed.
Anyway, good job getting him into it ;P
Akouma 4th Feb 2012, 8:51 AM edit delete reply
Well thanks for introducing him, then!

And yay, I'm noticeable!
Sir Robin the Not Bold 4th Feb 2012, 8:52 AM edit delete reply
Huh. The more you know, I guess.
Ranubis 4th Feb 2012, 9:04 AM edit delete reply
Ranubis
What's this? I'm a dedicated commenter? Awesome! That's one more thing off my Internet bucket list, now to pull a successful Rickroll and post a true first...

But yeah, everyone who posts here, Newbiespud especially, it's stuff like this that makes me so happy I started watching FIM. May all our stories continue to be entertaining.
Akouma 4th Feb 2012, 9:34 AM edit delete reply
Hey, I just realized, no one's brought up a topic for storytelling for this one! Alright then, I guess...

Random stories that you've been wanting to tell but they never really fit whatever the given storytelling theme of the day was go!

So, in the current season of D&D Encounters, I was playing a Witch with a super-minmaxed Arcana skill until we dropped it because the writing for it is unforgivably stupid (no, I don't care that they're fae creatures, STEALING RARE MYTHICAL BEASTS FROM SOMEONE DOESN'T MAKE THEM LIKE YOU! But that's another story entirely), and my way of communicating a successful Arcana check would just be to go "the [X] is magic, guys!" No description of what I'd actually found out, just that "yep, it's magic." It wound up becoming the group catchphrase for any successful Arcana check. My favorite quote that resulted from this:

"The obviously-magic room that's actually TALKING to us is magic, guys!"
Kiana 4th Feb 2012, 9:50 AM edit delete reply
I'm sure other highlights include "The Magic Mouth is magic!" and "The wizard's room has a magic lock!"


I don't have any stories... Well, other than how last night, my MLP party FINALLY finished off the dungeon they spent the last Celestia-only-knows how long in. Rescued their blind pegasus, rescued some orphans, beat a homunculus until it evaporated while surrounded by a circle of flames that slowly encroached in on them.

And they hit level 4. If some pony doesn't skill train Thievery, I am not holding myself responsible for any locked doors or traps they can't deal with.
Bronymous 4th Feb 2012, 10:14 AM edit delete reply
Yeah I haven't actually played in a while, our group is kinda... not there... at the moment, so Im running low on good stories.

There was the time our Barbarian (level 6)with a permanently downgraded Intel score (3) ate 2 magic mushrooms. The first one gave him another downgrade to all his stats and took away all his equipment. The second summoned a Dread Lich that he had to either defeat, or be dragged to hell and be forever destroyed (i.e. no resurrection).

He didn't show up to too many sessions after that.
Rugsrat 4th Feb 2012, 11:22 AM edit delete reply
oooo... Random story time? I wanna play!

Ok: So I was playing in my first 4e game ever, and we were chasing a theif into what would become our first real dungeon delve. Well, the thief had a large head start. We got to the entrance of the dungeon, which had some large boulder formations around it. We ended up getting into a fight against some kruthiks that had made their nest in the dungeon outside of the entrance.

Afterwards, we paused to catch out breaths, and were sitting on or near the rocks.

Then the DM asked: "Who's touching the rocks?"

Now, the rest of us, having learned quickly that when this DM asked that kind of question, it meant something bad was about to happen, all immediately said our "nope, not me."'s. Except for one of us.

She raised her hand.

BOOM!

Apparently, the theif had a few bombs, and had rigged the boulders to explode. She got trapped underneath, and the character almost died because of it.

Probably would have made things easier in the long run.

But that's a story for another time (the inter-party conflict day). Or the next "random stories that don't fit today's theme" post.
Raxon 15th Jun 2012, 2:03 PM edit delete reply
Oh boy! Story time! I have a sort of fetish for good stories, and comment threads like this are awesome material!
Vulpis 22nd Jul 2012, 11:26 PM edit delete reply
Ouch. Poor girl--if I was that GM, I would have rewarded her honesty by having the rocks shield her from the blast, while the *rest* of the group takes damage because of their obvious knee-jerk attempt to avoid consequences.
Panoptes 4th Feb 2012, 1:43 PM edit delete reply
I'm currently playing a musketeer-type setting game, except in alternate-history England rather than France. Our first session involved the PCs all sailing to France in order to infiltrate a French fortress and rescue a kidnapped duke.

Now, the character who unofficially leads our little group is a massive womanizer, and as the rest of us are all waiting on the dock for him to arrive so we can board our ship to France, we see him running towards us screaming "Get on the boat!" with an angry husband/boyfriend/father in hot pursuit. He manages to convince our GM to let him have acquired a pair of red lace panties as a joke, and they've been in his inventory ever since.

Fast forward to our third session; we've managed to rescue the duke--during which I got to play Donkey Kong throwing barrels out the back of our escape carriage--and been inducted into a knightly order that is effectively the king's secret service but had been decommissioned for the last decade or so. We've been sent on a "get the old team back together" quest where we have to track down the remaining living members of the order and get them to join us. We succeed, and for the rest of the session we have four veteran NPCs helping us. They refer to themselves as "Grey Team," having apparently been part of a single unit back in the day, so we start wondering if we should call our group (the PCs) something. Then one of us remembers that our leader still has those panties in his inventory.

And thus "Red Lace Team" was born.
Cain 4th Feb 2012, 6:56 PM edit delete reply
I had a similar thought about it. Causing bears to attack a rival camp was something I would do either...
Kiana 4th Feb 2012, 10:09 PM edit delete reply
"TO ME, MY BEARS!"
Akouma 5th Feb 2012, 4:13 AM edit delete reply
Getting bears to attack a camp reminds me of another story from the current season of Encounters and why it's stupid.

So, we're in the Faewild trying to retrieve two lovers who've been kidnapped and brought there, and we need to enlist the help of two specific Archfae to do it. One of the locals gives us the tip that stealing two unicorns belonging to one of the Archfae will somehow get us in her good graces enough to ask for an audience. (Something about appreciating a good prank or something equally stupid.) So we do that, and we get our audience because the script says so, and in exchange for her help, she says she wants us to go to the camp of the other Archfae we need help from, and destroy his barrels of mead because he and his followers drink too much. Okay, that makes more sense than stealing unicorns, I guess. And then she tells us "go find some bears to go wreck the honey." Literally everyone in the party was like "um... no? We're perfectly capable of smashing some barrels ourselves." But again, it's Encounters, and the script says we go get some bears to wreck the barrels. So we go get the bears, and bring them to the camp. Then because the bears were taking FOREEEEEEEVER to destroy the barrels, we pretty much immediately set to destroying them ourselves. There were six barrels that needed to be destroyed. You know how many the THREE bears we got took out? ONE. Just one. Out of six.

Let that be a lesson, DMs and/or the guys who write for D&D Encounters, IF THE PCS ARE MORE THAN CAPABLE OF DOING A JOB IN TWO ROUNDS (12 seconds), DON'T TELL THEM THEY'RE NOT CAPABLE OF DOING IT AND NEED TO RECRUIT HELP BECAUSE THE SCRIPT NEEDS ONE MORE ENCOUNTER TO STAY ON SCHEDULE.
Kiana 5th Feb 2012, 1:08 PM edit delete reply
"It's stupid" tends to be my opinion of everything related to Encounters. "Sounds boring" is a close second.
Ranubis 5th Feb 2012, 7:52 PM edit delete reply
Ranubis
Eh, I don't know. I'm only on my second encounter, but I can see the current one having promise. Mind you, if the encounter is run badly then it can be annoying and boring, but if you use the books more as guidelines for a campaign then it can turn out ok.

Take the last session that I got to DM. At one point they were walking through a tunnel with glowing crystals on the walls and ceiling. The book says the tunnels holds a locket with a picture of our quest person in it, and the characters can roll to hear music from the crystals (important later in the quest). As I'm about to call for skill checks, our warlock suddenly asks if she can break off a piece of crystal, (because it looks magical). I say sure, then once she takes a chunk I report that the other crystals are now giving off harsh noises that seems to have a pattern to them. So now the party knows the crystals are magical, and possibly sentient.

Now our character with a pole arm wants to try knocking some crystals down from the ceiling. I ask for an Athletics check, and I rule a 10 as him falling into a puddle. Then, as he starts getting up he "feels some sort of metallic object in the water". Following the initial burst of paranoia, he picks it up to find the locket, so now the party has a better description of who they're looking for.

So yes, I did deviate from exactly what the book said, but I feel it worked. Also, now the warlock's looking into crafting the crystal into a dagger or some implement, so I have that to work with too.
Ranubis 5th Feb 2012, 7:58 PM edit delete reply
Ranubis
As for the bear story, yes, I do think that the encounter is set up awkwardly around there. My group is just getting to the Feywild, so I've been trying to think of how to best work that section. Due to group size, It might work best to split the party (bear with me here) and have each group work with the other Fey agent. Heck, maybe the groups can end up fighting against each other. Again, I've found Encounters to have potential, but following them religiously does NOT work.
Cain 5th Feb 2012, 9:16 PM edit delete reply
Cain
That encounter will be fun to run. But what will be funnier, the 400 pound minotaur trying to sneak up on unicorns or the same running from bears.
Vulpis 22nd Jul 2012, 11:30 PM edit delete reply
...Please don't tell me that the culmination of the plot is that they encounter their Quest Object trapped by a large dragon-like creature, and that if they play the note sequence the crystals were doing, it frees her? You know, ripping off the Good End from the game Chrono Cross?
Zodo 6th Feb 2012, 10:49 AM edit delete reply
That bears repeating
sjosten 5th Feb 2012, 9:24 PM edit delete reply
Random stories!
My players were attempting to find some mages, so they trekked over to the nearby encampment of trolls. One of the players got up to go to the bathroom, but the other player wanted to go in anyway. He was negotiating with the trolls for a bit, but then player 1 (bathroom guy) came back. So, I told player 2 not to talk and I told player 1 that he could see player 2's characters (two players, four characters) surrounded by trolls all armed with bows. Player 1 charges in and kills the whole camp.
Aegis Steadfast 4th Feb 2012, 9:41 AM edit delete reply
Hah, I used to play with the toys when I was little as well, watches the series to, with my older brother and sister.

..Nothing can stop... the smoooooze!
Azureink 4th Feb 2012, 10:49 AM edit delete reply
Azureink
I really like the reference to "FOREVEERRRRR" with the opposite: "NEVEERRRRR."
Whatever 4th Feb 2012, 12:27 PM edit delete reply
Pinkie Pie did a NEVEEERRRR in the Luna episode. "Too old for free candy? NEVEEERRR"
Izandai 4th Feb 2012, 7:26 PM edit delete reply
Except that there it wasn't "NEVEERRRRR," it was just "NEVER."
Grandpalove 4th Feb 2012, 10:56 AM edit delete reply
I don't get it. How did AJ answer her own question?
Kaleopolitus 4th Feb 2012, 11:01 AM edit delete reply
Kaleopolitus
She suggested, after wondering where NMM was, that she might be waiting outside. A moment of thinking later she comes to the conclusion that NMM most likely IS waiting outside.

She doesn't have proof, but it's a paranoid/experienced player's conclusion based on the situation. One that means that she answered her own question of where NMM was.
Ranubis 4th Feb 2012, 11:33 AM edit delete reply
Ranubis
NMM: "Now, if I put the swinging blades here, and the pitfall over there, then - hey, those ponies are inside already?! Now what am I supposed to do? What's that? 'Is she waiting outside?' Of course, I'll just hide outside the door and, and... well buck, what can I do then? Ring the doorbell and jump behind the bushes?"
Akouma 4th Feb 2012, 11:33 AM edit delete reply
That and how common is it that a player mentions something really annoying that the villain COULD be doing right now, then realizes that now that potential annoyance has been brought to the DM's attention, meaning that the villain definitely IS doing that annoying thing right now.
Anon 4th Feb 2012, 3:48 PM edit delete reply
My money was on this. Our usual GM loves that trick. I know this fact, and yet I still can't catch myself from opening my mouth and ending the party into deeper water.

Ended up prolonging a small war by remarking that the three random civilians a party member had just slaughtered (Addiction: Murder flaw; we don't usually do Good parties) were the UN diplomats assigned to the conflict. Would have been funnier if we'd been assigned to find them afterward, but we had bigger fish to fry.
Kiana 4th Feb 2012, 10:20 PM edit delete reply
As a DM, I love to throw in random things the players suggest... usually for humor. Mostly in a 'sure, let's go with that' sort of way that isn't intended as annoying. Such as the sorcerer mare dealing with an enemy hitting on her by informing him she swings the other way... And then telling him that she'll consider it if he abandons the cultists he's fighting alongside and allies with the party. And if he wears a dress.

My response was: "Now just watch, Skye's going to roll a critical." Skye rolled a 19, with a rather large bonus... And 'Skye's Boyfriend' spent the rest of the dungeon crawl waiting at the entrance and guarding some prisoners the party caught.

Even though Skye's player hasn't been around for about a month.


And while I bring out random crap I didn't originally plan (like increasing the size of a firewall and having the villain disappear into it for half a turn.) It's done to make encounters more interesting, not to be annoying. Especially when two of the party members have functional immunity to fire damage, so they just jumped in and skimmed the fire for him.

It was a boss battle. A solo Skirmisher against a party of five of equal level, four of whom were melee specialists. I had to find SOME way of making the fight memorable. (And I gave everybody an enchantment from a friendly NPC that would make their first attack do cold damage on their first attack of the encounter, to both compensate for the firewall and to speed up tearing through the solo's bag of HP.)
Guest 21st Feb 2012, 12:38 PM edit delete reply
On the other hand, if the Deadpan Snarker is going to insult the DM's creativity by suggesting cliches are used, then s/he deserves to be trolled by said cliches.
Wayra Hyena 4th Feb 2012, 11:59 AM edit delete reply
Here, have a Never Split The Party story:

In my pathfinder group, the majority of the group had lost the trust of their fighter. Now, in those early level, you NEED that fighter. As my party ended up proving.

They were going to get him back, when they accidentally wandered into a field of special flowers that have a tendency to turn whatever drinks their nectar into a mindless drone to hunt for them and protect them. The druid recognized them, but didn't manage to get it out in time before Theresa The Magical Palabard (Sings-to-Roaches, if anyone remembers that story) decided to frolic about merrily in the beautiful flowers.

This lead to a battle with a small group of turned shocker lizards, where the group was almost SLAUGHTERED. I actually had to drop in the guys who were supposed to be the next fight (they had taken the Fighter) to kill off the shocker lizards and have mercy on the party, because I didn't want them dying in the first fight of the session.

They managed to get the fighter backā€¦ but they had to hurry to catch a boat ride to the next island. They were in such a hurry that they didn't realize their cleric had been kidnapped. They went the rest of that session without a cleric.

The rest of that session was kind of a more free-form thing, allowing the players to have their characters wander around a larger settlement and make some money at something called the Proving Pit. Essentially the players choose a CR level, and if they enter the pit and kill the monster(s) that are sent at them, they are paid 10xCR of the creature they just killed. It's an entertainment setup, think like Roman Coliseum, but with willing participants.

They chose CR 7. My level 3 party, MISSING THEIR CLERIC, chose a CR 7. The fighter was almost slaughtered with just one hit. They, once again, do not have his trust. Or a cleric.

Please, for the love of the Random Number God, do not split the party.
Kiana 5th Feb 2012, 1:06 PM edit delete reply
Sounds like somebody was trying to turn the campaign into Suicide: The Game.
Raxon 15th Jun 2012, 2:28 PM edit delete reply
I prefer to play rangers. Surviving is basically the entire class description for rangers, and especially at low to mid levels, Rangers will survive just about anything a fighter and a cleric together can.

Rangers exist to split the party, and therefore, they are fun. Cue evil laugh.
Scienceandponies 4th Feb 2012, 12:45 PM edit delete reply
Yay! Somebody takes notice of one of my PMVs! Loving the comic so far.
Forderz 4th Feb 2012, 1:21 PM edit delete reply
Forderz
My (9th? 10th? lvl) Pathfinder group was approaching the abberation spawning pit of the evil emperor, but we soon discovered it was surrounded by animate crystal suicide bomber things, and a variety of chimera-creature patrols. I was a druid, and decided the best course of action was to turn into an air elemental and clear a path to the old ruin the spawning pit was located in.

My part of the plan worked flawlessly, with me using a single 3rd lvl spell slot to draw away a huge pack of landlocked creatures, alone with the rare flyer to actively harrass and challange my air superiority.

The rest of the party was tasked with getting a mercenary wizard within LoS of the spawning pit itself to cast to ritual that would close it down for good, and maybe let us bypass the godzilla-wannabe that would undoubtedly be guarding it.

To make a long story short, it ended with me showing up to the ruin with one party member in the gullet of the beast, another bleeding out, our mercenary wizard looking on unconcernedly, and the rest of the party trying to figure out how to get through an invisible maze.

Sometimes I forgot I was the only one with a positive wisdom score.
Grrys 4th Feb 2012, 9:37 PM edit delete reply
I run a Pathfinder group with about 3 different parties that we'll jump between from time to time. Because I also like playing as well as being in charge, I keep a single character with the party in attempt to help keep them on the tracks.

Not only does that Gunslinger have the highest Wisdom score, he's also the only character with a conscience, which results in ALMOST Divine Intervention constantly. It doesn't help that we have no Cleric, and nobody is religious.

Luckily, he's also got a really high Dexterity, Strength, Constitution, and Charisma!
kriss1989 4th Feb 2012, 9:38 PM edit delete reply
Ahh yes the old "Darn it the competent one is missing!" story.
Zaerosz 4th Feb 2012, 5:46 PM edit delete reply
(Bear in mind this might not be fully accurate, as I have a rather bad memory.)

Went to a brony meetup yesterday, and at one point one of the other guys was telling us about his D&D experiences. Apparently, in one of the campaigns he played last year, his character had just gotten out of the bath when the party wizard apparently decided to Plane Shift the entire town.

Dude rolls a 1 on his Will save, so he rolls to see which plane he lands in. He rolls the Elemental Plane of Lust. Then on the encounter table he rolls a 20 - an incubus.

So this dude appears, naked and dripping wet, in front of a demon 'hung like a horse', in his words.

He took CON damage and the rest of the party had to come and save him. He says he's just glad he didn't roll a 19.
Xort 4th Feb 2012, 7:59 PM edit delete reply
And what would a 19 have resulted in?
Zaerosz 4th Feb 2012, 9:16 PM edit delete reply
In his words, "a building full of them".
Kiana 5th Feb 2012, 11:43 PM edit delete reply
I've known a few characters (and players) that would consider a room full of incubi a fun weekend.
kriss1989 4th Feb 2012, 7:18 PM edit delete reply
I did not see that coming...wait I'm jammed into 'so forth'?
Izandai 4th Feb 2012, 7:32 PM edit delete reply
This is most certainly <i>not</i> the Darths and Droids RPG group.
Lyntermas 4th Feb 2012, 7:56 PM edit delete reply
AJ:Look, Pinkie. We've just determined that she can't be inside. Twilight, you do as many Arcana rolls as necessary to see how the elements work. The rest of us search the perimeter in two groups. I'll take Fluttershy and Rarity, Rainbow Dash takes Pinkie. Alright let's move.
GM:...So most of the party is now outside the castle?
AJ: Yep.
GM: Leaving your squishy wizard inside?
AJ: Yep.
GM: With the only known way to defeat NMM with her?
AJ: Look, inside the castle is the safest place right now. Right now, we're guarding the entrance.
GM:Guarding against a magical god-empress who has already been established as having a fast-moving ethereal form?
AJ:...Horseapples.
Pinkie: Told you!
kriss1989 4th Feb 2012, 9:40 PM edit delete reply
Eh PCs have made stupider mistakes.
Kaleopolitus 5th Feb 2012, 3:25 AM edit delete reply
Kaleopolitus
MUCH stupider mistakes.
Kiana 5th Feb 2012, 1:11 PM edit delete reply
I knew a guy who, while hanging over a functionally bottomless pit declared that he wanted to clap his hands (to create a sonic attack.)

TO THIS DAY, I warn every new player not to do that. It's become my standard barometer for player idiocy. "If at ANY point, in any context, that sounds like a good idea... you're too dumb to live."
kriss1989 6th Feb 2012, 5:55 AM edit delete reply
I remember that story! It's hilarious.
Chakat Firepaw 6th Feb 2012, 9:11 AM edit delete reply
"Yes I _know_ I'm going to die if I do this. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make to save everyone else."
Vulpis 22nd Jul 2012, 11:40 PM edit delete reply
Obviously, that character didn't learn his koans--specifically, 'What is the sound of one hand clapping'. (I'd wonder if the ability specifically required clapping, or if he could do it by slapping a hard surface).
Chakat Firepaw 6th Feb 2012, 9:09 AM edit delete reply
Such as having the entire party climb into the 'teleporter' in the Tomb of Horrors.
Kiana 6th Feb 2012, 6:13 PM edit delete reply
He 1. Argued that he WOULDN'T fall to his death. Despite how I EXPLICITLY SAID the other round that his hands are the only thing between him and falling into a STARSHIP'S REACTOR that was likely to explode AT ANY MOMENT. (That was actually the party's mission: Teleport in, set the reactor to blow, get to the escape pods.)
2. An allied NPC - who, I must add, had been with the group the ENTIRE campaign, at the party's insistence! - was in the area of the attack. He argued that there would be a 'blast shadow' from one of the enemies that would protect her... despite the rules NEVER allowing that throughout the entire, almost year long, campaign. And no, the NPC couldn't take the hit. She was more of a dodge tank and area attacks bypass Defense. And you don't risk killing your friends anyway! He was a GOOD GUY and doing so was entirely unnecessary.
3. He could have simply spent a move action climbing back up the ledge. Which is what I tried suggesting to him, but he refused to listen.

Now, at the time, I had only killed off one PC before and that was because the player had quit after whining one time too many about... everything. The player of the strong man knew that. He also hosted GameTable... So he knew I'd be hesitant to just kill him for his mistake. So I let him live...

And then, the next week comes around, he waits until we are IN the session, to bring up a comment another player had made. After having a WEEK to work it out. Said player's comment basically boiled down to "You're an idiot for trying that", though more subtle.

Well, I had tolerated the strong man's player being a domineering ass, I tolerated him pressuring everyone else out of social interaction with NPCs. I tolerated him for almost a year... But when he went out of his way to start a fight between my players?

He tried to get his way by threatening to take down GameTable and quitting. I told him to get out. ^^ One of his friends quit, too, because apparently said friend hadn't paid attention all those times he was a raving jackass.

So he was, in NO way, heroic or sacrificing. Though because of him, I spent a great deal of time finding a solution that let ME host GT. And I'm now much, MUCH more willing to punish players for the foolish choices they make.
Sharp Note 4th Feb 2012, 11:29 PM edit delete reply
This was in my second roleplaying campaign(It was actually part of a two-party campaign, with our prequel characters doing a concurrent adventure every other session) on a homebrew space system. We were teleported from our forest planet to a strange temple, and given suits of colored armor. There were four teams, my squishy but power heavy psion Saffron on blue team, and the crazy lucky geneboosted risktaker and his group on red. Shooting from the moment we arrived. After I tricked yellow team into letting down their guard and green was wiped out, the last members of red and blue were staring each other down next to the door. I think for a moment. "Wait. ..You guys, take off your red armor." Fives seconds later, the door opens. I'm not sure the GM was happy we made it through or facepalming that we wiped out 80% of the temple before we found the loophole. Next session he dropped a level 25 angel to kill the genebooster who just wouldn't die, so perhaps the latter.(We beat it, by the way. Critical hit broke it's sword, my hallucinations kept us safe from it's fists.) Full parties = Fun parties.
Kiana 5th Feb 2012, 1:04 AM edit delete reply
I'd have laughed if someone pulled off multiple natural 20s on diplomacy rolls and you got all the color armored guys to become allies.

Insert Lantern Corp/Power Ranger reference here.
Vegetalss4 5th Feb 2012, 3:37 AM edit delete reply
I actually have a story of party splitting today.
The situation is as follows, we are playing dnd 3.5 in Eberron and the party is on their way home from a quest to deliver the quest object and get the reward.
Suddenly the magical train they are taking is hijacked by a bunch of terrorists, they defeat those who enter their wagon and decide to split into two teams, one which goes to the cargo-wagon to prevent the enemy from stealing anything and then run of and one who goes forward towards the VIP wagons, before they split however the psion manifests "shield other" on one of the fighters of the other group, this makes it so that the psion gets half of the fighters damage himself, not a problem since he can heal himself - this is very important.
The psions group goes forward, fight and defeat an ogre thug with only a slight problem, but the psion takes a bit of damage.
The other group meanwhile have a though fight with a warforged and some mechanical dogs, during this fight the warforged crits the fighter, not normally a problem. He can take it.
The psion however, already damaged from the ogre, can't, the effect being that his head suddenly falls of for no reason as far as the first group can tell.
So really, don't split the party.
Urthdigger 5th Feb 2012, 5:16 AM edit delete reply
Here's an example of splitting the party that actually worked. In a D&D session I had been DMing for a while, the party had over time recruited some escapees from a factory that specializes in making magical bioweapons. For a while, they travelled with the party and it can be noted that there was one bioweapon for each member of the party.

They eventually stopped being chased by the big bad when they fled to a new continent, and tried to get into the good graces of the elven leader by doing quests for the town. The party quickly realizes that the PC party and DM party were overkill for most things. Which they were right on: The bioweapons then decide it might be more efficient if they work on several tasks at once, and so the DM party and PC party split up.

After going through this bit of the plot, I then brought out a set of character sheets, and handed one to each player. They were going to alternate between playing as their own characters, and playing my group. The idea was to make them care a lot more about these characters, by making them belong to them, before I killed off most of them for the climax of the story. I'm not exactly sure how well that actually worked, but they seemed to have fun.
Annie Moose 5th Feb 2012, 6:58 PM edit delete reply
Checked the cast page to see if Pinkie Pie's player's experience with D&D had been settled yet, only to find out it says "No one really knows whether or not she's played this game before."

Welp, guess that one's settled now!
Chakat Firepaw 6th Feb 2012, 9:13 AM edit delete reply
Not splitting up is also a lesson that can be had from horror films.
Raxon 15th Jun 2012, 2:42 PM edit delete reply
I've found that splitting up to look for clues never kills the PCs, especially if there's a large hallway with lots of doors. Scooby who? I have no idea what you're talking about.
Zodo 6th Feb 2012, 11:11 AM edit delete reply
It's also a good general rule for any game. She may not have played THIS game before, but she may have played others.
KFDirector 5th Feb 2012, 7:15 PM edit delete reply
Partially involuntary party-splitting just earlier today!

Our rogue (with almost no search skill, and NO disable device skill) manages for the first time to actually detect a trap in front of a door we need to get through - the trap being a trap door. So we pull open the door with a grappling hook on a rope, and then use a heavy weight to trigger the trap door, leaving a 10'x10' pit in between us and the door we need to use.

Inside the room, there are zombies. They come straight at us, and fall down the pit, down 20' to the first floor of the building.

Because we're kind of in a hurry, I, the take-charge barbarian scavenger, direct the others to jump across the pit so we can see what's on the other side. The rogue makes her jump. Then the fighter fumbles and falls straight down the pit, onto the zombies. Since he's fragile (poor AC for a fighter, substandard HP), we've got to save his bacon....

The ranger goes running for the stairs, to take the safe way down, and shows up at the battle about a dozen rounds later. I leap straight down the pit, hitting a zombie with both my sword and my weight.

So, of course, the rogue decided we had the situation well under control, and went off to go loot the store rooms.

After the battle, my barbarian pulled the rogue aside and explained that she and I were going to have a little chat about the importance of teamwork.

Never let that damn thief out of sight, indeed....
Kiana 5th Feb 2012, 10:04 PM edit delete reply
No search, no disable device... So he's got, what, stealth, sleight of hand and lockpicking? That's not a rogue, that's a petty thief. =P
KFDirector 5th Feb 2012, 11:37 PM edit delete reply
And don't think I don't give him a hard time for it!

Of course, despite a generally crap skill set, melee-combat-types actually have more flexibility, in a way - they just have to fight, and no one cares which specific way they do it. But if the rogue didn't have the INT score to properly invest in each of about ten or more different critical skills, then they've let the whole team down....
Kiana 5th Feb 2012, 11:41 PM edit delete reply
I'm assuming by skill names that this is 3/3.5e, so yeah. Rogues get the most skill points, they are all but REQUIRED to put most of them into relevant skills. While search is passable, I don't recall many classes having Disable Device as a class skill.

But yeah, "Next time you run off to loot while we're fighting, I'm cutting off your head and shoving it up your own arse!" is a good way to get the party rogue to behave.
Bronymous 6th Feb 2012, 11:50 AM edit delete reply
Oh, man I cannot even count how many times I let the Party deal with the bad guys so I could go find nice things to steal. Except I wasn't a Rogue.

And I guess I should mention I never actually left, I would still be nearby in case of emergency.

Not saying that I would ASSIST in said emergency, but I would be there to see it play out, definitely.

Im a Team Player.
Digo 6th Feb 2012, 6:29 AM edit delete reply
Indeed. My daughter has 14 of these ponies and several times she wants me to help her groom their manes. I have yet to ever say no...
Digo 6th Feb 2012, 6:39 AM edit delete reply
I think one of the worst "Split the Party" moments was in a Shadowrun game I ran-
The team was hired to assasinate a "Dr. Lucky" who lived by himself in a posh mansion on a private island. The team gets there and finds that the doctor has several servants in his employ- A cook, maid, mechanic, butler, etc. But before the team could get to Dr. Lucky, the target is asassinated by some unknown figure also in the mansion.

So what does the team do? Split up and search the mansion for the killer! ...and no, no one picked up that I was basically running a game of Clue with them until half the party regrouped with stab wounds, bullet holes, and one case of a candlestick to the head. :D

And in case you were curious-- The dog did it. In the dinning room. With the poison pills.
Kaleopolitus 6th Feb 2012, 9:07 AM edit delete reply
Kaleopolitus
Bwahaha, that is AWESOME!
Katarani 6th Feb 2012, 8:29 PM edit delete reply
Dr. Lucky wasn't very true to his name if his dog could poison him that easily.
Digo 7th Feb 2012, 5:26 PM edit delete reply
Yeah. I specifically gave him that name for the irony. Besides the dog the party was going to off him, and at least three of the six servants had motive to do him in too.
Guest 3rd Jul 2013, 11:31 AM edit delete reply
But why would they even look for the real killer? Mission accomplished, they can go back, say they made it look like someone else did it and claim their reward.
Curb 6th Feb 2012, 8:49 AM edit delete reply
Never-Split-The-Party-Ever!!!

I had a GM who loved to try to make us split up. He had a habit of trying kill us off(was a bit of a jerk too). We caught on and always found ways to derail his split up ploys, including traps that forced us to separate. We'd find ways to reconnect and stick together.
Sorakirin 6th Feb 2012, 9:10 AM edit delete reply
You never Split the party. Clerics in the back keep those fighters hailing hardy.
Ranubis 6th Feb 2012, 12:41 PM edit delete reply
Ranubis
Keep the wizard in the middle, so he can shed some light.
Kiana 6th Feb 2012, 5:51 PM edit delete reply
And Clerics are actually fairly durable, relatively. So having them BEHIND the Wizard means that if the party gets flanked, the wizard doesn't die in the first round.
Plynic 7th Feb 2012, 5:08 AM edit delete reply
And you never let that damn thief out of sight~
Anvildude 6th Feb 2012, 11:56 AM edit delete reply
So, while GMing my own d12 Steampunk game, I had about five to seven party members at any one time (oftentimes 3). And they Never. Stayed. Together. They created each of their characters in a vacuum, relevant to the world, but not each other. They had wildly divergent personalities, all of which were individualistic, and thus not caring what happened to the rest of them. To even get them together, I had to have had them all sign up as caravan guards, because they were all complete mercenaries, too.

It honestly ended up more as a 'Oh, we're all in the same place this time? Sweet, I guess we can work together!' than a 'Don't split the party'.
Bronymous 6th Feb 2012, 11:30 PM edit delete reply
Wanna know a good trick for that? Start Railroading. HARD. Set them on the tracks and don't let them wiggle out. If they do, throw out some unreasonable enemies for them to deal with so they learn their place.

They'll start working together, if for no other reason than to find ways to oppose you.

Make sure you make up for it quickly, though, or they'll start working together under a new DM.
Anvildude 8th Feb 2012, 9:34 AM edit delete reply
Oh, I don't need to railroad that hard. My GM style is pretty fast and loose already- however, they came to realize that when they split the party, at least half the group _doesn't get to play_ for half hours at a time. I give them plenty of chances to get back together, as well, and honestly, they're usually fairly good at sticking together when actually on a Mission- it's just that when they hit a town, the party kinda explodes, and so when I've planned for a plot point in town, I either have to make it big enough, or hope the group's 'magic radio' character remembers he has that ability.
daemosblack 7th Feb 2012, 1:12 AM edit delete reply
Personally i find far - FAR - to easy to manipulate my players with out directly railroading them, (i.e. I use my knowledge of things they like or are interested in as a person to make a scenario seem appealing when it REEEEEAAALLY should be obviously a bad Idea) and as a result I get to watch a "don't split the party" argument at least once every few sessions. It is glorious to watch seven players debate amongst themselves with no prodding from me for forty minutes on whether or not they should really trust that warlock with the trained purple worm.
magewolf 8th Feb 2012, 10:47 AM edit delete reply
ah thought so, ah just kept mah mouth shut cause ah wern't sure.