Page 697 - Cony Before the Horse

9th Jan 2016, 6:00 AM
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Cony Before the Horse
Average Rating: 4.67 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 9th Jan 2016, 6:00 AM edit delete
Newbiespud
Page 700 is a week from now... I'm planning on making another Story Time video to celebrate.

If I'm being honest, though, knowing how the last two videos took so much effort to make... I have my doubts it'll be perfectly on time. Just gonna put that out there so that I don't have a conniption or a stress ulcer come next weekend.

59 Comments:

ANW 9th Jan 2016, 6:12 AM edit delete reply
About nine days too late, but I think it's early enough.
New Years resolutions.
What is yours?
Me:Get a job. Almost 8 years since High school, and still can't find anything.
Digo Dragon 9th Jan 2016, 7:15 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
My New Years resolution is to follow Friendship is Dragons and draw ponies (which is to say, I don't do resolutions). ^^;

At my jobsite they started a 3-month competition on who can lose the most weight and they're giving prizes for the biggest winners. Despite that they're going by percentages, that kind of competition is biased against someone like me who is 5' 0" weighing about 126 pounds. I don't have much to lose.
Evilbob 9th Jan 2016, 8:19 AM edit delete reply
Evilbob
Wait. You're only 5'0"??? Why do I imagine you as at least 5'5"?

Anywhooo... Yeah, that's definitely an unfair competition. You're within normal range BMI. All other things being equal, you should not lose weight. It also is weighted unfairly, excuse the pun, toward those who are outside of normal range...

And what happens if you're underweight???
Digo Dragon 9th Jan 2016, 10:57 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
I wouldn't mind being 5' 5". Though, there are some advantages to being short.

Underweight was not addressed, so I don't know. I'll just bake some cookies and bring them to work, eat them in front of my coworkers. XD
EEK 9th Jan 2016, 12:37 PM edit delete reply
I used to do the same thing when my HS started a health kick, as I am 6'2 and can pass for a stick at a long enough distance so they didn't bother me
Digo Dragon 9th Jan 2016, 2:41 PM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
It does feel annoying that they asked me several times about loosing weight. And they asked while I'm standing there talking to some of the heavier coworkers. I mean really... WHY.
Poe 10th Jan 2016, 3:18 PM edit delete reply
One person I know is actually trying to gain weight; she loses weight when she's unhealthy and now she's trying to get it back.
Disloyal Subject 10th Jan 2016, 4:05 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
Jeeze. All this stuff about losing weight... What about those of us actively trying to pack more on?!
Digo Dragon 11th Jan 2016, 6:42 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
My secret is McDonald's and Pizza Hut. ...A secret I need to stop using. ^^;
EEK 9th Jan 2016, 11:06 AM edit delete reply
Get a job, Try to learn to draw again
EEK 9th Jan 2016, 11:06 AM edit delete reply
Get a job, Try to learn to draw again
Mykin 9th Jan 2016, 11:28 AM edit delete reply
Mykin
My resolution is to stop rewriting the same three chapters of my FOE story and actually get on with finishing it before the end of this year!

And spend more time drawing ponies so I can actually develop an actual style of my own.

...and discover where Digo lives so I can join him in eating cookies in front of his coworkers.
Digo Dragon 9th Jan 2016, 2:42 PM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
I'm in the same city that the airport with the call sign MCO is stationed. :3
Winged Cat 10th Jan 2016, 11:36 AM edit delete reply
Oh hey. I'm headed to that airport on business Thursday after next (that is, 1/21). If you're somewhere near KSC maybe we can meet up Thursday or Friday night? (If you are interested - and if you see this note - we should take this offline instead of responding in here. Message me on FIMFiction, perhaps?)
Demonu 9th Jan 2016, 11:44 AM edit delete reply
Demonu
Run bigger and grander adventures and be a better DM overall. Oh, and the whole lose wait, get better grades, make new friends, find twue love, yada yada yada.

On that note, I got the character sheets/profiles from my players for my new adventure and hot damn, do they look an interesting ragtag bunch of misfits. The system is D&D 5th Ed and I'm letting them start out at level 10 so we can dive straight into some mid tier stuff.

The campaign is set years after the end of my previous one with this group. Tales about how five heroes stood valiantly against a fallen one have faded into legends. But the aftermath of their conflict has fundamentally changed the world as it is. Mountains have been toppled, winds haunt ancient ruins howling day and night and, most noticably of all, the waters have risen. Entire stretches of land have sunk beneath the oceans and the once proud empires have been reduced to island nations with many of the people lost in the process. The other most noticable change is the rise of heroes. Emboldened by the tales of the heroes of legend, a new generation strikes out into the world, eager to carve out their own legend in history. But while more and more heroes rediscover the world, there are some things that are best left forgotten...
This is THE AGE OF HEROES!

It is here that we find our new band of daring adventurers out in the open seas. Who knows where their ship sails to next?

Dramatis Personae:
- Jeff, a human Arcane Trickster Rogue/Conjuration Wizard/Shadow Monk (4/2/4) nicknamed the Impossible Thief.
Taking the concept of thief and elevating it to new heights, Jeff has honed his skills to an almost supernatural level. If you need to get in somewhere, he's your man. If it exists and needs to change ownership, he's your man. Think Thief from 8-bit theatre but less of a sociopath. Serves as the ship's underground connections.
Arcane Trickster 4: mainly for expertise and Mage Hand legerdemain. Because why pickpocket when you can do it from 30 feet away with an invisible floating hand?
Conjuration Wizard 2: in combination with Human feat Keen Mind for that sweet sweet Minor Conjuration abuse.
Shadow Monk 4: like a thief in the night but better. Also has some fun versatility.

- Mike, a half-elf Knowledge Cleric/Great Old One Warlock (6/4) nicknamed the Mind Delver (and some other R rated names)
Knowledge is power. With that tenet, Mike struck out into the world to learn as much as he could, even going as far as learning mind magic: how to read thoughts and, more importantly, how to manipulate them. Alas, a chance encounter with a mindflayer (or was it a beholder? He doesn't remember much besides wriggling appendages and a gaping maw) showed him glimpses of things man was not meant to know. With his mind slipping, Mike descended on a much darker path towards his goals. An amicable guy and everyone's friend, even if he has to force you. Also the party's face man.
Knowledge Cleric 6: Channel Divinity is the main focus here.
Old One Warlock 4: more mindgames! Also has taken the Eldritch Spear invocation to serve as the ship's gunner because there's nothing quite like an Eldritch Blast to the face from 300 feet away
--> Pact of the Chain: Imp familiar Lilith (though she prefers Lily)
An imp that was rescued from execution by her higher ups by Mike summoning her one fateful night. Has developed a crush on her master which has evolved into an identity crisis: she is an imp by nature but Mike's magic allows her to change form into a sprite, a form she prefers because it looks more like her master. Serves as the party's scout (imp) and mascot (sprite)

- Jim, a human Eldritch Knight Fighter (10) and the only one who doesn't have a nickname yet (not for a lack of trying, mind you) which bothers him to no end (which isn't helped by the others teasing him about it)
Not much to say as it is one of the most straight forward builds. Looks like one passion has overtaken the other because Jim is basically playing a Jedi (or Sith, he could go either way at this point) Which means that I have to toss him a Sun Blade somewhere down the line for the hell of it. The amount of ASI or feats he receives make him into a Swiss Army Knife that can fill any spot. Serves as the ship's strongman.

- Tim, a tiefling Stormborn Sorceror (10) nicknamed The Captain (for obvious reasons)
Sets sail into the open world mostly to escape the problems he seems to cause everywhere he goes. Most of the time, it is not his fault, or not intentionally at least, as there seems to be this thunderstorm following him around wherever he goes. No one knows how he has acquired the party's ship 'The Oncoming Storm' and he himself says that it is a story best told at the right time at the right place. Has a bit of a Jack Sparrow streak to him but you could just as well see traces of Kirk. The Stormborn feature helps out tremendously with sailing the ship, earning it its reputation of being one of the fastest ships around.

- Alex, a water genasi Moon Druid (10) nicknamed The Beast or The Terror Below
One of the oddities in this new world is the emergence of new races or the rediscovery of old but hidden ones. Whether he belongs to the former or the latter, Alex couldn't tell you but what he does know is that the power of the ocean flows through his veins. Tim has picked him up somewhere before the campaign starts in a tale that varies wildly depending on the amount of ale. Curious to find out his place in the world, Alex joins the crew as the ship's first mate and animal expert with a penchant for aquatic beasts. Always gets a bit giddy when he discovers a new animal he could shift into and it's not uncommon to find him being some animal for most of the day.

If everything goes well, we should set sail next week or the week thereafter ^^
Raxon 9th Jan 2016, 2:32 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
My resolution is to lose weight and get more commissions.

And to refine my craft, of course.
Specter 9th Jan 2016, 5:33 PM edit delete reply
Specter
Uh... learn to draw on a computer. It's not a feat that should be focuesed upon so much, but if I can do that, then I hope I can be happy again with a hobby of some sort.
Guest 9th Jan 2016, 5:50 PM edit delete reply
Breathe. Everything starts from there, so that's my resolution.
Winged Cat 10th Jan 2016, 11:42 AM edit delete reply
Survive. You'd think this would be easy, and in many ways it is, but each year brings new challenges and it sometimes seems to get just a bit harder. Still, I have not broken this resolution yet, and I would like to see if I can honor it to Celestia-grade proportions.
Evain 9th Jan 2016, 10:09 PM edit delete reply
On the topic of resolutions and weight loss stuff, I don't do resolutions, but I did lose roughly 80lbs over the course of this past year. :) Started getting some actual medical attention for some stuff instead of having all the problems shrugged off as 'go lose weight and the issue will go away'. Surprise surprise, having the issues get addressed had me start shedding weight like mad. Now I'm only 10ish 'overweight' instead of close to 100. One day I'll get back to being strong enough to do some exercise too - one of the things overlooked that's getting addressed now is a decade old neck injury - arthritic now but thankfully not fused - that took out a lot of function in my arms and legs.

People keep asking me how I lost so much weight, and to be honest, the first thing I was told to do that started it was actually started eating - and a couple of weeks in to treatment, got told to eat more, my headaches and cravings weren't the withdrawals I'd been warned I might have, I was just still starving myself. Prior to getting help, I'd gotten to the point where I was passing out every so often because I simply wouldn't eat.

That said, plans for this calendar year include things like securing an income. My mood is a lot more stable now than it was a year ago, and I'm a lot more confident in my ability to do... well, my ability to do anything. I had zero confidence before. Makes me much more capable of finding work (or I guess of doing art and selling it. Speaking of! I have gifts I did for Chanukah that I still need to finish off. I only got 20-some of them out in time, though everyone who did get one was kind of like 'holy crap where did this come from?' - I'd drawn a lot of 18x12 portraits of their children, and the kids had known these were coming for about 7 weeks already, had even seen the completed pieces, and had all kept them secret - which is pretty impressive for a mob of 3-12 year olds.)
CmndrHurricane 10th Jan 2016, 4:59 AM edit delete reply
I don't really do resolutions, but I'd guess try working out more and maybe gaining some weight. although in order to do that I'd probably ae to secure bigger income since the amount of food required cost alot
Evil Paladin 13th Jan 2016, 4:22 PM edit delete reply
Did you do college between high school and now?
If so: Not so bad, scoring a job can be oddly difficult after graduating from what I experienced as a freshly graduated bachelor.
If not: JESUS! The economy in your area must be worst than the ass crack of ISIS controlled territory!! Even McD's and the grocery store(s) aren't hiring?

My own resolution is ALSO to score a job since unemployment is beginning to run out and food tastes better while employed.
Also do weight lifting with my roomie at the nearby gym. Higher resting metabolic rate can be helpful with keeping a lower weight (from fat) and more muscle mass will do that.
nathan400 9th Jan 2016, 9:17 AM edit delete reply
nathan400
I liked and shared the other story time videos with friends of mine, so thank you for the effort and I'm sure it will be worth waiting for.
Geistlinger 9th Jan 2016, 10:21 AM edit delete reply
My New Year's Resolution was not to make any New Year's Resolutions.
Ted the saiyanwolf 9th Jan 2016, 10:45 AM edit delete reply
Ted the saiyanwolf
same
Raxon 9th Jan 2016, 2:34 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
My resolution is always something I already do. Lose a few more pounds, get people to commission more of my work, and get better at writing.

Stuff I'm doing anyway.
Digo Dragon 9th Jan 2016, 2:44 PM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Aim low and nail it. I like that plan.
Ted the saiyanwolf 11th Jan 2016, 5:45 AM edit delete reply
Ted the saiyanwolf
clever very clever
Mykin 9th Jan 2016, 11:38 AM edit delete reply
Mykin
The first Story Time video is how I discovered this comic in the first place. Heck, I still listen to those videos from time to time, so I don't mind if this one ends up being a little late. As long as it is as well made as the other ones, I'll be happy.

As for the comic itself, I think the alt text for Pinkie Pie's encouragement would be her saying "Drive me closer, RD, I want to hit her with my sword!"
Disloyal Subject 10th Jan 2016, 3:59 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
I don't think that meme has failed to make me laugh yet.
"EQUESTRIA OVERCOMES, AND WE ARE EQUESTRIA!"
S-Clark 9th Jan 2016, 11:55 AM edit delete reply
Ask a fan? why not save yourself an ulcer by recording the narration and having someone else do the find-the-perfect-picture-and-animate-them thing?

(Yes, I realize that working with someone else can be just as stressful if things go wrong, but the benefits could easily outweigh the negatives)
Kale 9th Jan 2016, 12:49 PM edit delete reply
Kale
Ramming speed!
Always much more enjoyable than a mere boarding action.
Digo Dragon 9th Jan 2016, 2:45 PM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Ramming something is a very effective way to damage a target. The trouble is it goes both ways, and you take damage as well.

Yet, even knowing that, it IS way more satisfying to ram something.
Raxon 9th Jan 2016, 4:37 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject 10th Jan 2016, 4:01 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
Not if your ship's built for ramming. Which, as it happens, most Loyalist Inperial vessels in Warhammer 40K are. There's nothing quite like the satisfaction of ploughing straight through the broadside of an enemy cruiser and unloading all guns on their escorts as your warship soars out of the explosion through the void of space.
Cain 11th Jan 2016, 7:41 PM edit delete reply
Cain
That or they just love having the eagle on the front.
j-eagle12212012 9th Jan 2016, 4:26 PM edit delete reply
j-eagle12212012
My new year resolution is to subscribe to Newbiespud on hitbox and participate in the Anniversary stream for Fallout is Dragons
Skorzah 9th Jan 2016, 8:36 PM edit delete reply
Mine is to graduate high school, move into my own place, and have a blast in the campaigns I'm joining, both of which have my boyfriend as the GM, and one of which has my younger brother as a player. It's going to be an interesting time!
Disloyal Subject 10th Jan 2016, 4:03 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
Luck be with you. Just don't get carried away putting too much on your plate; 2 campaigns is just right, but five a week has me scrambling.
Digo Dragon 9th Jan 2016, 9:24 PM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Your avatar seems very unfortunate when paired with your resolutions.
luminous lead 10th Jan 2016, 7:43 AM edit delete reply
Double-critical all the way across the plains! Yeah!
Winged Cat 10th Jan 2016, 11:45 AM edit delete reply
But what does it mean?
Disloyal Subject 10th Jan 2016, 4:15 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
We've all seen homebrewed material for playing ponies; I think Digo posted racial stats for D&D 5e a while back.

I'm running a pony game myself at the moment, and wondered if anyone has input on the stats I've come up with.
I completely forgot to use the race-generation guide out of the 5e DMG, so they may not be especially balanced, but I tried.

(Darkin are a peculiarity of the setting, the descendants of Earth Ponies who lived in areas tainted by Darkness and became corrupted. Functionally, they're Orcs: capable of living where no one else wants to, and with little choice but to do so; treated by some GMs as irredeemable savages that exist purely to be killed for XP and as a nuanced culture by others. I favor the lattee option, especially with the setting's humans already being the equivalent to Drow in cruelty and evil.)
Demonu 10th Jan 2016, 7:18 PM edit delete reply
Demonu
Advantage on all saving throws is way too broken, especially when combined with other effects from certain classes.
(we are talking about D&D 5th Ed, right?)

The rest seem fair, even though it is hard to judge without actual playtesting.
Digo Dragon 11th Jan 2016, 6:46 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Flight is a huge advantage. That is one reason why my write up has flight speeds as low as they are.
Disloyal Subject 11th Jan 2016, 3:00 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
Thanks guys. They've been working okay so far, but I think I overdid it on bat ponies in particular. I'll crunch the numbers tonight since one of my players reminded me that the DMG's guidelines exist.
I based 50ft flight off the avian race from the Elemental Evil player's guide, and haven't really been throwing enough saving throws at them to tell how good the advantage on all (yeah, 5e; somehow I forgot to mention that) is. Feedback much appreciated.
Digo Dragon 11th Jan 2016, 6:44 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
It looks like it is freaking out with the resolution to update consistently.
TDChangeling 11th Jan 2016, 12:16 PM edit delete reply
So, excuse the question, but how exactly can we input a story for story time? I doubt my story will make it in, due to it being kinda visually difficult, but still.
Newbiespud 11th Jan 2016, 7:49 PM edit delete reply
Newbiespud
Any story shared in the comments* is eligible.

*that I can fit into a series of screencaps from the show
TDChangeling 11th Jan 2016, 9:33 PM edit delete reply
Thanks for the response! Just a shame it doesn't seem relevant to anything. Oh well!
Mykin 11th Jan 2016, 10:41 PM edit delete reply
Mykin
*that I can fit into a series of screencaps from the show

That negates about 99% of my stories here. Oh well, I guess another goal for this year is to be succinct with my future stories.
Hariman 11th Jan 2016, 2:14 PM edit delete reply
If the anniversary video is late, I'm fine with that. Your health comes first.
steevee 11th Jan 2016, 3:28 PM edit delete reply
I wasn't to try and make D&D charater sheets for some of my OC's, but have little clue on how stuff works.
looking for a guide or instructions to explain stuff (mostly stats)
TDChangeling 11th Jan 2016, 7:17 PM edit delete reply
You got any way I can get into contact with you and help you?
Specter 11th Jan 2016, 4:53 PM edit delete reply
Specter
This reminds me of several occasions where a character got killed because of their teamates when the player wasn't there. It didn't end well for anyone involved.

Exspecially when the afk player turned out to be the GM for the next campaign.
Cain 11th Jan 2016, 7:40 PM edit delete reply
Cain
Greetings, I am not dead, just not been reading the comic for a while. Have several funny stories that have happened since I last posted a few years ago, most of which come from the Pokemon game I am in, which some might spectate on Dally's stream. but one that stands out is the interactions with Stubbs the Aaron. Some of his exploits include getting thrown in jail for eating a parking boot that was put on a pokemon, and being used as a projectile against a Legendary pokemon. Long story short the party (minus 1) wound up getting flung into the future and having to find a way back in time. And Stubbs got to meet the giant talking toenail.

One just waiting to happen is my 5e group who have mostly rolled up filler characters for off sessions which so far include a Zombie barbarian, a Horse monk, and a Mimic. I forsee a comedy of errors.
TDChangeling 11th Jan 2016, 9:56 PM edit delete reply
So, my main story I have, I guess, would be the tale of Sad Kobold.

It was a new party, and a new group of players. The group had been told of a group of Kobolds in some nearby ruins, and some whispers of humans with them. Of course, they decided to clear it out.
The Kobolds in question turned out to be led by a cult of humans, dedicated to Tiamat. One Kobold, after suffering a string of misses, broke off from the group that my party was fighting, heading to tell the mercenaries the cult had hired for protection. Our cat Hengeyokai chased after him. Sadly, she couldn't keep up, and the Kobold threw open the door, telling the mercenaries about the intruders.
However, the mercenaries couldn't speak Draconic, and the Kobold couldn't speak common. Still, the Kobold desperately pointing back towards the group caused the the mercenaries to look towards where he came from...only to see a cat, innocently sitting in the hallway.
They assumed the Kobold had had his lunch stolen by the cat, and slammed the door in his face. The Kobold proceeded to break his spear over his knee, and left. The party felt so bad for him, he wound up becoming a reoccurring character through multiple campaigns.
TheDapperChangeling 11th Jan 2016, 9:58 PM edit delete reply
Double post, and I can't delete it, since I posted it before making an account ><
TDChangeling 11th Jan 2016, 9:56 PM edit delete reply
So, my main story I have, I guess, would be the tale of Sad Kobold.

It was a new party, and a new group of players. The group had been told of a group of Kobolds in some nearby ruins, and some whispers of humans with them. Of course, they decided to clear it out.
The Kobolds in question turned out to be led by a cult of humans, dedicated to Tiamat. One Kobold, after suffering a string of misses, broke off from the group that my party was fighting, heading to tell the mercenaries the cult had hired for protection. Our cat Hengeyokai chased after him. Sadly, she couldn't keep up, and the Kobold threw open the door, telling the mercenaries about the intruders.
However, the mercenaries couldn't speak Draconic, and the Kobold couldn't speak common. Still, the Kobold desperately pointing back towards the group caused the the mercenaries to look towards where he came from...only to see a cat, innocently sitting in the hallway.
They assumed the Kobold had had his lunch stolen by the cat, and slammed the door in his face. The Kobold proceeded to break his spear over his knee, and left. The party felt so bad for him, he wound up becoming a reoccurring character through multiple campaigns.