Page 558 - Shuffling the Deck

19th Feb 2015, 6:00 AM
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Shuffling the Deck
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 19th Feb 2015, 6:00 AM edit delete
Newbiespud
We're about less than a week away from this arc's ending, and I'm probably not going to get a whole lot of guest comics for the intermission round coming up. So what I'm probably going to do is use a mini-arc idea I've been sitting on for a while... I'd rather keep it a surprise, but I'll leave it at that.

57 Comments:

Raxon 19th Feb 2015, 6:08 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Wow, Spud. This version of Rarity is depressing.

Sounds like she needs a good old fashioned ducking.
Digo 19th Feb 2015, 7:32 AM edit delete reply
Yarrr, the evils of duckface.
Rokas 19th Feb 2015, 6:17 PM edit delete reply
Qvack
Guest 19th Feb 2015, 8:25 PM edit delete reply
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAGu_a97DMs
Guest 19th Feb 2015, 8:50 PM edit delete reply
That's what happens when the GM takes revenge on a player unconsciously for the actions of the whole group trouncing their carefully crafted plans. There is always a casualty.
ANW 19th Feb 2015, 6:09 AM edit delete reply
Hello everyone.
Sorry I've been coming in lately.
You know how life is.
Today, it's not poll time.
I will start story time this go around.
Give a time when rolling a one was a good thing.
I don't have anything because I never played before.
Zuche 19th Feb 2015, 6:39 AM edit delete reply
I had a player fail a check to climb, followed by a 1 on the Acrobatics check to avoid the falling damage (and falling prone).

So there his character is, flat on his stomach in front of a window looking out from the villain's position, and he asked, "Can I make a Stealth check?"

Well, being prone meant he was beneath the window. Should falling be considered movement for the requirement of a Stealth check? I allowed it. He then crawled around the corner through an open door, and dropped her with a lucky shot. Good thing too, as he was the only party member still conscious.
ANW 19th Feb 2015, 2:22 PM edit delete reply
So the 1 got you in a place to kill the villain?
Now that's lucky.
Digo 19th Feb 2015, 7:38 AM edit delete reply
One player was grappling with the enemy and I was nearby with a .45ACP pistol. I was a poor shot, so I asked the GM what happens with a failure when shooting into a grapple. He said I'd hit the other person.

"Okay, I aim for my friend and shoot him!"

Rolled a 1. The GM had to follow through with his ruling so I landed a Headshot on the enemy. XD
ANW 19th Feb 2015, 2:21 PM edit delete reply
Cheater. Just kidding.
ThatGuy 19th Feb 2015, 8:26 AM edit delete reply
Not quite a nat 1 either, but one time the party found a magic item that boosted fire damage. As I was playing a fire mage, I snapped it up. Next time I threw a fire spell, DM asked me to roll an extra die. Jokingly I held up my d20, but he allowed it. At that point I started getting suspicious, but an enthusiastic teammate pulled out her d100 and the party was all 'YOLO' about it. I rolled a 7 on a d100, so that was the extra damage my spell did... to the target and to me. I had 28 hp pre-cast at the time.

We have since given the fire-boosting item to the fighter with the flaming sword who regenerates by killing things, and he intends to use smaller dice. Or the d100 if he reaches his last stand.
Winged Cat 19th Feb 2015, 11:11 AM edit delete reply
This isn't technically a 1, but it's in a system where rolling low (but sometimes above a minimum) is good, and 100 is the crit-fail. It's in the Unkonwn Ponies: Failure is Awesome, and we're playing blank flanks. (Specifically a Cutie Mark Crusaders troop, inspired by the original CMC. The game's set about a century later, during which the original CMCs - once grown up - went on to inspire similar groups, but with at least nominal adult supervision. PCs being PCs, we are by now indirectly responsible for the near-total destruction of Zebrica - and directly responsible for keeping it to "near-" - but that's another story.)

Perhaps the most memorable string of failures so far was breakfast. We had ended the previous session staying overnight in Ponyville in preparation for venturing into the Everfree Forest the next day, so we started the session playing out waking up and getting together to give the GM a bit longer to finish assembling plot notes. Since skills in this system mainly grow through using them (specifically, failing, hence the name), it was an opportunity for some low-consequence skill checks, or so we thought.

By the time we got on with the plot, there had been narrowly-dodged flying silverware, a magic surge that left our kelpie PC stuck mid-shapeshift (a quick trip to the hospital saw him back in pony form, though with lingering consequence), and I won't detail what happened with the food itself. Suffice it to say that we entered the Everfree at less than full capability.
Discord 19th Feb 2015, 2:20 PM edit delete reply
Thank you, Thank you very much.
I'll be here all week.
Assuming 6 ponies doesn't get to me first.
ANW 19th Feb 2015, 2:20 PM edit delete reply
Ouch.
ANW 19th Feb 2015, 2:25 PM edit delete reply
The Ouch was for the fire.
Toric 19th Feb 2015, 12:47 PM edit delete reply
By a combination of bizarre circumstance (and the GM being a prick) my paladin was possessed by a demon. The demon, not wanting to be trapped inside yucky paladin flesh and suffering from a massive FEAR effect, wanted to escape the quickest way possible. Namely, the death of his host.

GM had the demon attempt to make me coup de grace myself, TWICE in a row. Both times, I rolled a 1 on the damage die, so the save DC for not dying was only unlikely and not impossible. I successfully saved out of it and our cleric exorcised the demon before things could get worse.
ANW 19th Feb 2015, 2:24 PM edit delete reply
Two 1's in a row.
That's harder to do then one 20 sometimes.
Lucky.
Specter 19th Feb 2015, 3:00 PM edit delete reply
Specter
GM: You want to roll to see which personality takes over today?

Barbarian: Yes.

GM: You do realize the risk you have if you roll to much of the wrong thing, right?

Barbarian: Of course.

GM: ... Why do you want this again?

Barbarian: I'm tired of always having a bad personality at the wring time. I at least want a chance.

GM: Fine, what do you want the 1-20 roll to be?

Barbarian: Aggressiveness.

:) Guess which orc became an excellent diplomat that day with the elven nations.
ANW 19th Feb 2015, 4:59 PM edit delete reply
A barbarian orc... excellent diplomat...
2 phases that don't belong together without a -word somewhere between them.
DANG!
Grant 20th Feb 2015, 12:42 PM edit delete reply
Well he could be an excellent diplomat. Convince the nearby tribe that their best interests are served by launching a raid to forestall an invasion, show enough aggressiveness to convince the other party that you're serious about fighting over this land if they don't leave, work out a blood payment to avoid a feud for the next fifty years.

Being a barbarian doesn't mean you don't have a society with plenty of disputes that preferably don't result in heads being chopped off.
Mykin 19th Feb 2015, 4:35 PM edit delete reply
Mykin
Tell a story when a nat 1 was actually a good thing...well I could cheat and talk about my Deathwatch game, where a nat 1 is the equivalent of a 20 in that game (and even rarer since its a d100 system) but that wouldn't be sporting of me to do. So I'll tell a different story from that mission instead.

So a comm outpost goes dark in the middle of a war zone and because some chaos space marines were spotted in the area, we get sent in to take it back. After an uneventful drive to the base of the mountain this outpost was stationed in (if you can call dodging mortar shells and casually driving past several shootouts uneventful), we hike up to the door only to find out that it was not only closed, but unpowered. Lucky, as a tech marine (read: a cyborg with aspirations of becoming a robot one day), I'm equipped with the equivalent of a construction claw on my back. So, naturally, I blindly open the door without a care in the world. I was immediately welcomed by the sight of a chaos space marine with his welcoming party of traitor guardsmen, who were all too happy to greet me the moment I opened up the door.

After taking a few bolter rounds to the face and still somehow able to stand, our medic decided it would be wise to return fire...while I was still standing in front of him. Thankfully, he rolled a nat 100 on his attack roll, so fate decided that his gun jammed instead of filling my back with even more bolter rounds. I wisely moved into cover after that, not really wanting to take more friendly fire than was necessary, and combat resumed after I unjammed our medic's bolter gun (after he apologized for almost shooting me in the back, of course).

Do no harm my rear side, honestly...
ANW 19th Feb 2015, 5:02 PM edit delete reply
Ouch and almost ouch
Disloyal Subject 19th Feb 2015, 10:22 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
"Do no harm?" I'd be surprised if any characters from the grim darkness of the far future had HEARD of the Hippocratic Oath, and even if they had, I doubt a Deathwatch Apothecary would be overly concerned about it. Looking forward to playing Deathwatch... And I made 6 spare characters in case my Blood Jaguars Librarian gives his life for the Emperor. Maybe my Lamenters Apothecary will reference Hippocrates, or 'Saint Mykin.'
If nat1s in a roll-under system are unsporting to use here, I'll refrain from sharing the story of my Dark Heresy assassin's incredible luck at stealth for the umpteenth time, fond though I am of telling it.
Mykin 19th Feb 2015, 11:05 PM edit delete reply
Mykin
Eh, I can see it being warped in the 41st millennium. The Hippocratic Oath was made by noble humans and thus applies only to the glorious human race. Xenos are obviously not human, so it's ok to continue to murder them without consequence. Same goes to mutants (with certain exceptions, of course) and heretics/traitors abandoned the right to be considered human the moment they turned their backs on the God Emperor of Mankind. But I can agree with you on an Apothecary being not too concerned with it. It gets in the way of shooting things.

Of course, being a Blood Raven, Brother Tyhous might have come across some record of the Oath during his time before the Deathwatch. Probably got it from the same server where he got part of some ancient archive, detailing the adventures of some pony like race engaging in an activity called "roleplaying", while oddly named entities comment on random things. It's probably because he decided to save that server on his memory disk that he's currently marked by the Inquisition and why he's currently in the Deathwatch. Though they won't do anything about it as long as he's paired up with his overtly paranoid Dark Angel friend. Probably just waiting for said friend to eventually suspect him of knowing something about the Chapter's dark secret that must never come to light...
Grant 20th Feb 2015, 12:48 PM edit delete reply
Given the setting, I think that a Saint Keh Vorkian might be more appropriate.
Flashpoint 19th Feb 2015, 4:48 PM edit delete reply
Flashpoint
Party rushes into a room where a dude has a woman at knife point, and doesn't notice our entrance. He's getting ready to stab her, and my character (an archer) is the only one who manages to react in time. I attempt to shoot the guy literally anywhere to get him to back off at least.

Then the diced rolled over to the nat 1.

I sneezed mid shot, the arrow flew and ended up hitting the woman right in the throat. There was a lot of "Nice going moron" from the party, until the man thanked me, and introduced himself as the prince. The woman had been an assassin making an attempt on this life. The knife he had was hers, and she noticed our approach and tried to feign innocence and play the victim. Messed up a good portion of the DMs story with that.

There was also another archer (basically a fighter who was really good with bows) who ended up with a homebrew trait "Victory Through Incompetence". All my saves had penalties on them, but twice a day I could make a nat 1 roll count for a bare success through random luck and comedy style antics. The results of a lot of these were spectacular, and my character became an accidental hero of a war.
ANW 19th Feb 2015, 5:04 PM edit delete reply
Nat 1=Good bye major chunk of story.
Now that's what I'm looking for.
If not extreme.
FanOfMostEverything 20th Feb 2015, 6:05 AM edit delete reply
In one homebrew setting where the gods are basically Friendship is Magic characters with the serial numbers filed off, I've made a homebrew feat for worshipers of Derpy. You can treat a natural 1 as a natural 20 once per day, but if you do, something else goes horribly, horribly wrong. The GM is encouraged to be... creative.

Sadly, I haven't gotten to see it in action. My playgroup knows how creative I can be.
ANW 20th Feb 2015, 1:26 PM edit delete reply
After seeing some of your stories, I keep the one I have now instead of the 20.
Ghrathryn 20th Feb 2015, 1:22 PM edit delete reply
I won't say this was a good thing for me, since I was DMing the game at the time, but There was one point where botches turned out to favour the players.

Basically playing D20 Starship Troopers with some friends and they encountered a variant bug species of a group hostile to the normal batch (sort of fire spitting xeno), well one particular one got two 1s in the same encounter. First time it was trying to do a spit attack on one of the players and botched, so ended up swallowing instead. Can't say swallowing fire is good for you.

Second time, they managed to reduce it down to near dead and kill its partner, so it tries to escape and, naturally, slams its head into the ceiling because of a botch roll. Silly bug shoulda looked up.
ANW 20th Feb 2015, 1:25 PM edit delete reply
I meant nat 1 for the players, but that will do.
TheFreshDM 19th Feb 2015, 7:09 AM edit delete reply
I wouldn't say I've ever had a good nat 1's but we've had some funny one's at least probably the one I remember fondly for some reason was when I asked the group to make a Move Silently Checks past some enemies in a kitchen everyone except our Warforged got their checks while he got a Nat 1. so what happened was he comes crashing through the kitchen pantry and storeroom past the enemy colliding into loads of stuff all the enemy see's when he passes them is a Warforged covered in flour along with some other kitchen ingredients that I can't quite remember having a pot and stuck on his feet a pan on his head and him banging two more all while him doing improvised singing. It had to be the funniest and strangest thing the enemy had seen in along time
Discord 19th Feb 2015, 10:59 AM edit delete reply
And I had nothing to do with him, what so ever.
Guest 19th Feb 2015, 7:22 AM edit delete reply
A mini-arc. Involving Luna. With the goal to bring Rarity back. Let me make a guess: Nightmare Rarity from the IDW-comics.
zimmerwald1915 20th Feb 2015, 6:48 PM edit delete reply
That or For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils.
MuffinMark 19th Feb 2015, 7:30 AM edit delete reply
MuffinMark
It wasn't exactly a nat 1, but last night failing a Con check was a good thing. We had just performed a task for the forest and as thanks it had created a path for us to travel down. As we were walking the Con check happened, and anyone like myself who failed were filled with a good feeling, postive outlook, and temporary hit points equal to 10% of our total

Good times
Blueblade 19th Feb 2015, 6:17 PM edit delete reply
So basic the Forest gave you mind drugs.
Digo 19th Feb 2015, 7:34 AM edit delete reply
I wanted to put something together for a guest comic, but alas, my creativity and output has been pretty dead lately. :c

Maybe there's still time for a one-page RP joke. Deadline is the 26th, right?
Guest 19th Feb 2015, 8:30 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, it's the 26th. I'm more or less the same way, though it's more due to a few well placed hard blows to my self confidence lately that I've been unproductive.

Still, I have an idea that's been bouncing around. I'll see if I can't put something together for it.
Mykin 19th Feb 2015, 8:31 AM edit delete reply
Mykin
And I will never understand why the system keeps randomly logging me off from time to time and why I never notice until I've posted something.

Anyway, back to work.
Disloyal Subject 19th Feb 2015, 10:26 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
Found my notes on ideas from a year or two ago, but don't think I'll be realizing them by the deadline. Next time, maybe.
Caelus Storm 19th Feb 2015, 9:11 AM edit delete reply
Nice job, with this page, as always, Spud.
Seanpony Renaud 19th Feb 2015, 9:51 AM edit delete reply
Dear God who must I murder to post before Raxon. Seriously, tell me and that fucker is DEAD.

On a less serious note I'm curious how Luna could be a main character she only shows up in a handful of episodes with little interactions.
Evilbob 19th Feb 2015, 9:59 AM edit delete reply
Evilbob
Uhm... I think the obvious answer to that question is "Raxon"?

Although... maybe not technically... since if he's dead, it'll kinda be impossible to post before him, since he would never post anything...
Mykin 19th Feb 2015, 10:04 AM edit delete reply
Mykin
I wouldn't count on this being a permanent cast change. Twilight has her serious thinking cap on, she'll think of something.

As for your little dilemma with Raxon...yea your probably going to have to stay up all night and stalk the website for the second the new page is up. I tried doing that once and ended up having nothing to post about when it did change. So I've long since decided it wasn't worth the loss of sleep on my part.
Disloyal Subject 19th Feb 2015, 10:33 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
When I've gotten the first, it's usually been because I get up early. Comic at 6 is a nice breather when getting ready for class at 7. Sometimes we're all busy & take our time trickling in, though, so chance is a factor.

Seanpony, I'll prepare a list for you. Eradicate the targets, and I'll find/make a way to bribe Rax away for long enough that you may post. Now, where did I leave that 50lb chocolate bar...
Specter 19th Feb 2015, 3:14 PM edit delete reply
Specter
Hmm... I get the feeling that somepony (Twilight) might get Leadership as their feat, and have Rarity as their cohort (or, at least that's what I would do).

Raxon dilemma, just try posting a little closer to when the page gets uploaded. I did that (and in truth, if I attempt that and win again, Raxon might come after me.).

... Or you can, maybe, just stare at the page, and wait.
Disloyal Subject 19th Feb 2015, 10:40 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
I don't think 4e has Leadership. It was a pretty unbalanced feat, though good for experienced groups to round out parties with limited players. When you have six players controlling ten characters, though, things get bogged down.
FireFrenzy 19th Feb 2015, 11:32 AM edit delete reply
Okay so we were playing RIFTS right (awesome fluff nigh unplayable crunsh, i'm talking "i dont know what levelling up does other then skillpoints" nigh unplayable)

I was playing a USMC corps Officer in training from Anapolis who gets caught in a leyline and dumped into the future of RIFTS, and due to some shenanigans and catching an antitank missle with my torso ended up a full conversion cyborg.

So we run around for a while, my char "dealing" with the trauma by just refusing to admit it happened. And falling back on his orders "Protect my daughter!" (one of the other PCs was the general's kid)

And at some point we get ambushed by a bunch of baddies, who are holding a clip full of ammo. Some quick math on the explosive force later i conclude "it migth as well be a small nuke". I am inclined to let them walk out with the stuff to avoid one of them making good on his "I'll shoot the case and then we all die" threat.

Problem: Girls exist to make trouble for men. Or atleast, the daughters of High ranking officers exist to make trouble for enlisted men.

"BUT I WANT THE BOX!" (it was full of magical ammo, and the girl in question was a technomancer)

So i give it a quick once over in my head and figure "i can wack the guy with the pistol with my guns in one shot, probably before he knows what hit him, and then i can solve the guy holding the ammo. So I fire my forearm mounted chaingun at the dude with the pistol. "Roll "not a 1" on a d20 and you hit and the plan probably works!"

*Roll*

1

FUCK!

*One explosion, visible from orbit, later the entire party is dead and we're playing Vampire: The Dark Ages. (The transilvania chronicles is SHIT... NEVER PLAY IT!)
FireFrenzy 19th Feb 2015, 11:42 AM edit delete reply
My little stream of consciousness rant:

It was a BOX full of ammo, like I said in the second instance.
ANW 19th Feb 2015, 2:17 PM edit delete reply
First time I've heard of a dice roll putting the entire group into a different game altogether.
Rubahhitam 19th Feb 2015, 1:17 PM edit delete reply
Last Sunday the new group that formed that I joined continued our adventures with the starter kit for D&D Next. We had defeated and beheaded a bugbear who was leading a band of goblins (terrorizing the countryside, etc.) and we were crossing the bridge to what I had assumed to be another portion of their hideout. With the bugbear's head on a stick (sidenote: the official weapon of this campaign is now the headstick), we marched into the goblins little cave. Little did we know that this was a band of RIVAL goblins, who had their own leader. After unsuccessfully trying to intimidate them, I tried to use sleight of hand to sneakily retrieve a vial of powdered nightshade from my pocket (the DM ruled it was a sleep-inducing agent) so I could throw it into the bonfire.

Roll.

Nat. 1.

The nightshade pops out, onto my masked face, and I get knocked out for a round. The goblins get confused, and lose their turns for the first round. Thankfully I had back-up. Go team!!
ANW 19th Feb 2015, 2:16 PM edit delete reply
In this case it knock you and your oppent out of a turn. Even if you was by yourself, you got one turn of them not doing any thing to counter you.
That's better then getting a 2-6.
That's the type I was looking for.
XanatosDrake 19th Feb 2015, 5:42 PM edit delete reply
I had just joined a campaign and we were ambushed at night. my character was a knight and failed the first check to wake up due to having his armor on. then the party kender fires his blunderbuss and i get told that i will wake up with anything other than a nat one..... and then i roll a nat one. then the party palidan tries to wake me up. i nat one again and attack him in my sleep. i roll the attack and crit. so i down the pali and keep on sleeping through the entire fight. the moral of the story is let sleeping knights lie.
ANW 19th Feb 2015, 6:39 PM edit delete reply
triple one, then took out your own party member.
well, while it may not good, it's still funny.
Jennifer 19th Feb 2015, 9:43 PM edit delete reply
Don't remember if I've told this one before. My first tabletop RPG experience was Cyberpunk, and (wanting an interesting character) I decided to take one with the lowest possible luck. My GM used me as a Deus Ex Machina.

First I was being trained on our caravan's .50 cal machine gun, rolled a one, stumbled over it and fired a burst into the air... which shot down an overflying Learjet which *just happened* to have the campaign McGuffin aboard. Another time, we were escaping a police headquarters, I fired a random burst to the rear and hit the ammo dump. That kept the police busy while we escaped.

Sometimes it was only useful for other members of the party, like the time I rolled a one while handling an aphrodisiac. After I came to, I discovered that another member of the party had filmed the resulting orgy and made lots of money on the 'net with it.
ANW 20th Feb 2015, 10:20 AM edit delete reply
Your ones as Deus Ex Machina.
Weird, but ok.