Page 501 - Cocoa Economy

9th Oct 2014, 6:00 AM
Cocoa Economy
Average Rating: 5 (6 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 9th Oct 2014, 6:00 AM edit delete
Newbiespud
Random dice rolling for humor and superstition are par for the course, but if I have one pet peeve, it's players rolling dice for real actions without announcing them first, or announcing them after the roll. In my mind, there's no such thing as a secret, instantaneous, postmeditated action - which is what it seems like when such rolls are post-called - and I hate having to tell a player to trash a perfectly good roll on an action that I would've just said "yes" or "no" to had they only asked.

The 500 anniversary video, Story Time! 2, went up last night. Later than I hoped by about 18 hours, but it seems I'm not immune to hubris. I'm very happy with how it turned out, though.

125 Comments:

Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 6:02 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Tell a story about candy in a game!

Who of us hasn't used candy to represent our enemies? I like to use flat things like sweet tarts, tiny cookies, or other things, because I can add a bit of jelly on top to signify different enemies.

Anyone here familiar with gas spores? I represent them with a drop of green jelly, but it's not apple jelly, it's jalapeno.

EDIT: Also, in case you didn't see, thanks, Spud. I am honored that you saw fit to give me yellow text boxes. One of these days, I may have to record a monologue and put it on youtube for you. The audio quality will, naturally, be terrible, but it's the content that matters.
Digo 9th Oct 2014, 8:02 AM edit delete reply
I've certainly done the enemy representation with candy. It's fun and the sugar high your players get afterwards is amusing.
WordSarien 9th Oct 2014, 8:20 AM edit delete reply
When my dad used to DM, he'd often use M&Ms (or whatever other candy he could get his hands on) to represent monsters, and your reward for killing the monster was getting to eat it. Even though we use plastic tokens now, at least once a session someone is told, "Here, now you can eat it!" (Even my mom, not a gamer, knows that reference by now.)
ToaofTwilightZ 9th Oct 2014, 10:26 AM edit delete reply
I've done the candy thing. It got complicated after a math error caused an enemy to be eaten before he was dead.
Mykin 9th Oct 2014, 12:55 PM edit delete reply
Mykin
Never did the candy thing. Mostly because there were always animals about and candy seems to be like a magnet to them. I just use candy to bribe my DM to give me a small advantage in a combat situation. Though considering how much of a magnet I am for enemy attacks and my lack of change for the vending machines most of the time, I rarely get to use it.
The Late Mister Nelson 9th Oct 2014, 6:42 PM edit delete reply
Do pancakes count for this one? If not oh well I'm telling it anyway.

So I was in a joke campaign of Dark Heresy. I was playing Deadpool, our villain was Handsome Jack, and Inspector Gadget showed up at one point.

The first session went like this:

I was late because of a prior engagement, and had to Skype into the session from across the state. I made the skype call and asked to get filled in. They were searching for a Cult that as attracting away teenagers. That was about all they'd learned in an hour and a half of gaming. Otherwise they tooled around, no idea where to look for the cult.

Deadpool comes in, and says, "Okay. Let's make pancakes."

He makes pancakes for the entire town. There is a feast. He uses the feast as a pretext for fishing for information, allowing the more charismatic characters to find the information they need. After a half an hour, Deadpool has advanced the story by two hours. With pancakes.

The cult was attracting people with a game called Caverns and Cultists. While the rest of the party insisted on interrogating the doorman of the store they were in (who was just some guy they paid a few crowns to watch the door. Deadpool could tell as much and told them to have fun.)

Deadpool goes in, dressed in a polyester suit with a pocket protector, and wearing thick rimmed glasses over his body suit and mask.

Deadpool is not charismatic. Deadpool has a terrible bluff score. He passes, mostly because the cult leader thinks he has another sucker.

Deadpool is a blank. This means he is entirely unaffected by psychic powers. The cult leader (who is the DM of the game) is a psyker, who freak out when they're around Blanks.

Deadpool passes his Bluff check. He goes through the entire game, in this stupid outfit, making the DM think he's been dragged in, even though he's obviously a blank.

At the conclusion of the session of Caverns and Cultists, the DM says, "It's time for our weekly raid."

Deadpool says, "Oh, um, well, you see, my Tauren's on another server, so I can't go."

"It seems we have a spy among us."

"Uh...It's him! That Bill is a spy!" Deadpool points at a guy at the table named Bill. The DM is not convinced, so Deadpool pulls out his Shotgun (which he actually has the skills to hide) and shouts,

"SPY CHECK!" and blasts him full in the chest.

And crits. And crits again. And crits again. And kills the DM in a single blast.

The DM intended for that adventure to go for three sessions.

Deadpool ended it in an hour.
Zuche 10th Oct 2014, 3:37 AM edit delete reply
Chocolate coins wrapped in fake gold foil are good, though it was awkward when a lot of them had to be recalled a few years back. It's a shame when you can't trust a candy maker.

Still, watching players hoard piles of gold between battles was always amusing. Seeing that people tended to give the chocolate back after the game, I'm thinking it might be worth handing out some of the shiny stones you can find in bead shops.
Raxon 10th Oct 2014, 4:38 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Yeah, about that, don't buy candy or food imported from China. They don't actually have health or safety standards. Well, technically, they do, but they're even more impotent than OSHA is in the USA.

Bear in mind, this is coming from a guy who delights in eating undercooked meat. Avoid imported chinese food. Please take that to heart. I love chinese food, but at the very least, I would insist on cooking anything you get thoroughly.

Also, if you want shiny stones, go with dragon tears, the little flattened glass marbles used to decorate fish tanks.
Zena 10th Oct 2014, 1:19 PM edit delete reply
Seconding on both counts. Those little marbles are dirt-cheap and look AWESOME. Plus, they come in every color you can imagine.
Destrustor 10th Oct 2014, 2:13 PM edit delete reply
Destrustor
Candy IN a game? Oh boy.
Here's a clumsy link to "Le Donjon de Naheulbeuk"'s wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_donjon_de_Naheulbeuk
To summarize, it's a series of audio sketches (and books) satirizing and celebrating fantasy roleplaying games, starring an extremely dysfunctional and stereotyped party of low-level adventurers. One of them is "The dwarf" (basically his actual name, because none of them have one.(Re: stereotypes))
The dwarf seems to only have one job in the party: to be the annoying, super-greedy jerk that everyone hates. For example, he joins the party specifically and only because his mere presence would make the Elf miserable. This is only important because from what he says, his entire behavior is the dwarven standard.
The creator of the series also wrote satirical songs, totaling at least a few albums. Between most of these songs, he inserted little fake advertisement jingles for in-universe products, one of which was about little dwarven candy named "Chianthos". Chianthos (a french pun mixing "Menthos" and "pissing people off") have the ability to make anyone as good at pissing people off as a true, good-old dwarf.
What I'm getting at, is that my DM included chianthos in one game. Each one consumed gave you a flat, temporary, stackable +1 bonus to EVERYTHING/ANYTHING, as long as you were trying to anger/annoy people in the least productive way with these newfound powers. (and also compelled you to be a total douche to everyone)
My brother's character, when we got to the point of gaining divine ranks, chose "chianthos" as one of his domains. He could create a handful of them at will. They were real and persistent, so you could stockpile/sell them and everything.
What happens when you eat about 5000 of those little balls of pure hate, with the express intent to piss the entire world off?
Not even gods can stop a +5000 bonus to whatever you want to anger them with. He outdrank the entire, combined dwarven race in a drinking contest. (to be fair, these dwarves weren't the ones from the universe where chianthos were created. They didn't have access to them.) I think it was thanks to chianthos that he managed to behead 76 million drow at once in a single epic great cleave, before murdering Lloth and pooping on her corpse (also he was a colossal dragon at this point, so you can imagine the size of the pile...)


...My brother's character was a very silly god. He didn't get many followers.
Jannard 11th Oct 2014, 5:36 AM edit delete reply
Aww, I already told my story of candy in a game :(
Specter 9th Oct 2014, 6:06 AM edit delete reply
Specter
Season 3 of Friendship is Dragons starts... NOW!

I have done this mostly to say I was here.

Now I'm going back to bed, story time later.
kriss1989 9th Oct 2014, 6:17 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Okay then so OMG what did you do to your avatar?
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 6:23 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
I noticed it, too, sorta. Specter, why the hell do you have such a filthy avatar? I'm Deadpool, and even I don't post blatant pornography.

You pervert. You and those psychologists are all alike, showing me those pictures of dirty crystal hippies making out with innocent food, and having the nerve to ask what I see. GAH!
PikalaxALT 9th Oct 2014, 7:39 AM edit delete reply
If I had to guess, I'd say he **changed** his avatar.
Specter 9th Oct 2014, 7:37 AM edit delete reply
Specter
I am-... I did-...

Seriously? This is like the third time I can remember someone has had a problem with my avatar. I question why I even try.

If you want me to change it, fine. Good bye changeling reaper, and hello... what ever the hell that is.

-Edit-

Sudden change of appearance = good or bad.
Digo 9th Oct 2014, 8:03 AM edit delete reply
Um... what was the previous avatar?
Specter 9th Oct 2014, 8:21 AM edit delete reply
Specter
What? Oh yeah, sorry. Uhh...

Here is the source. Sorry for not keeping it up longer then I did.
GrayGriffin 9th Oct 2014, 8:36 AM edit delete reply
Specter, I'm pretty sure kriss' reaction was one of surprise, and you know Raxon likes to joke about those things. I'm pretty sure neither of them had a problem with that avatar.
Specter 9th Oct 2014, 9:05 AM edit delete reply
Specter
... Yeah. I can understand actually. I assumed, however, that the "OMG", from Kriss was bad (since I still don't know what it means, but assume it's not that bad). For Raxon... even something meant to be funny (or ironic, or to be passed off as something that shouldn't be taken seriously) can still be hurtful.

I'll just change back to my other pic, and pretend nothing happened (assuming everyone else can do the same).

-Edit- Done.
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 9:22 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
The joke was that I was interpreting it like a Rorschach test, and seeing something ridiculous.

Seriously, dude. Don't be afraid to call me out if my joke sucks. I won't get any better otherwise. Also, don't take me too seriously. Unless I state up front that I'm being serious, or 'no joke', you can generally assume I'm not being dead serious.

I like your new avatar. I assume you asked permission to use it as your avatar, right?
Specter 9th Oct 2014, 9:45 AM edit delete reply
Specter
Of course. I could get sued other words

I could just make a custom one if it helps.

-Edit-
Ta-da.
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 10:32 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
It's certainly nicer than I can draw, that's for sure.

Then again, I'm more known for searing penises into steaks when someone is being a jerk, so my artistic side has a different way of coming out.

As you can imagine, coming out is a very important thing to me.
kriss1989 10th Oct 2014, 4:31 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Actually I found it awesome, I was just surprised you changed avatars. That's so rare on forums.
Digo 9th Oct 2014, 12:40 PM edit delete reply
That is an awesome avatar!
j-eagle12212012 9th Oct 2014, 5:25 PM edit delete reply
j-eagle12212012
I like the reaper pony oc, it looks awsome you should use that one

Edit
And @Specter OMG usually means Oh My God or something similar it is mostly sarcastic like "OMG look at what she's wearing"
NeutralDemon 9th Oct 2014, 10:47 AM edit delete reply
Bad ass changeling is bad ass
kriss1989 9th Oct 2014, 6:17 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Candy huh? One time, the party cleric managed to bribe an entire pirate crew to join us on an ultra dangerous mission by promising them ice cream...she rolled really well on diplomacy.
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 6:35 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
One of my characters made jello once in game. I would like to describe the process for you now, in my own special way.

I killed the beast with my bear hands, and seared its flesh with flames. I tore out its bones and ground them into paste! Through water and ash, I wield the water that eats flesh, lye. I will pour the lye over the bones, and destroy all that is not collagen. I shall flay the collagen from the bone, and then scorch it in a noon sun. I will grind it into powder with stones, and then add water and color it with the blood of the most crimson of strawberries. Then, I will rip the skin from a banana and cut it apart, and add it into my creation of blood and bone!
Toric 9th Oct 2014, 7:14 AM edit delete reply
I think I may have mentioned at least one of these before, but in the homebrew I'm subjecting my players to I have thrown a few food-based enemies.

After a night of drinking and partying with some pathfinder Amish, a PC and an NPC who dranks some wicked moonshine vomited it all up in the fields. The next morning, there was a mysterious pair of oozes for the PC's to deal with.

A little later, they crashed a party where fondue was being served and the witch cast purify food and drink on the cheese. I ruled that the cheese gained the quality and taste of frozen cheese and that it also gained consciousness, attacking the party guests while the PC's broke in the dungeon.

Finally, they came to a keep guarded by a Red Jester (awesome enemy) and his pair of bread golems. The bread golems were incredibly stale and had animated because they grew sentient tumors like the ones in TF2 that came from teleportation.

I also had a few enemies later made entirely of rock candy, but the party never tried them.
toby'c 9th Oct 2014, 7:41 AM edit delete reply
Out of curiosity, just how did you get those bear hands?
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 8:11 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
+4 claw gauntlets that increase unarmed damage.

It's a monk thing.
Guest 9th Oct 2014, 8:33 AM edit delete reply
Okay then. Just that I'm reminded of this guy who tells a story about killing a grizzly with his bare hands, who subsequently wears a pair of bear hands when he wantsvan excuse to telling the story.
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 8:35 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
They were basically just gloves made out of bear paws. Fun flavor text is fun.
toby'c 9th Oct 2014, 8:48 AM edit delete reply
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZFjdjvkg8g
Malroth 9th Oct 2014, 11:41 AM edit delete reply
The "add water" step is quite a bit more time consuming than than it would seem.
Gden 9th Oct 2014, 9:38 AM edit delete reply
That makes me think of codename Kids next door's candy pirates. Now, I'm imagining a KND pathfinder game, working out the weapons alone would be a huge chore
Abraman 9th Oct 2014, 6:17 AM edit delete reply
Abraman
I'm glad I have a DM that is flexible like this one. It's no fun when the DMs just conform rigidly to the rules and never let the PCs do anything fun.
UG Counter Aggro 9th Oct 2014, 8:14 AM edit delete reply
Conversely, DM's don't like it when players insist on derailing the campaign because they because they want to do shenanigans. It is entirely possible (and in my opinion, more fulfilling) to have fun within the rules.

Note that I'm not saying that you should follow the railroad tracks (in fact, i recommend trying to tear tracks up with the tools available), just that its in poor taste to declare you secretly had a jetpack the whole time.
FanOfMostEverything 9th Oct 2014, 6:42 AM edit delete reply
So what modifies a candy roll, anyway? Charisma? Dexterity? Is it a touch attack? I find myself oddly intrigued by this.
Steel Resolve 9th Oct 2014, 7:05 AM edit delete reply
Well, pretty sure Pinkie's dex is quite high. I think it would be a grapple check, since she bowled Twi over.
Digo 9th Oct 2014, 8:04 AM edit delete reply
CON check if you're eating the candy. :3
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 10:55 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Will check to avoid eating it all at once.

Man, the number of checks and saves you could attach to a single item can be fun, huh?
Digo 9th Oct 2014, 12:41 PM edit delete reply
All fun and games until you bounce a check.
Mykin 9th Oct 2014, 12:57 PM edit delete reply
Mykin
I wonder how that would work with a cone of candy though...
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 1:48 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Cone of candy could cause a person to be a little sick, I suppose.

Sick, but happy.
Disloyal Subject 11th Oct 2014, 1:47 AM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
I would think bruised, unless the cone somehow beams the candy into their body.
Greyman 11th Oct 2014, 3:26 AM edit delete reply
Clearly a Candy Roll is either a Diplomacy or an Intimidation check to manipulate someone into dropping moar sweet loot. Circumstance modifiers may apply for the costume...
Ted the saiyanwolf 9th Oct 2014, 6:49 AM edit delete reply
Ted the saiyanwolf
*rolls to steal candy* Damnit a 2
silvadel 9th Oct 2014, 7:12 AM edit delete reply
And if you roll 1 on your candy roll, you get an apple.
toby'c 9th Oct 2014, 7:33 AM edit delete reply
A rock, I would have thought.
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 7:48 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
No. On a natural one, you get a toothbrush. Apples are a 2.

You should be rolling a d100.

Ohhhh... How about a luck domain cleric spell that's basically create food and water, except a lottery, where if you're very lucky, you could win a lifetime supply of celestial food?

Considering that this is a domain spell, I would think you could begin using it once per day very early. Normally, you have a 50% chance of getting a standard meal of rations. You have a 5% chance of getting nothing. You have a 5% chance of getting nothing and losing all your domain spells for the day. You have a 1% chance of gaining summon food as an at will free action spell-like ability, with unlimited uses, and the ability to choose what kind of food you get. Others would be little, unimportant changes, like getting half a ration, or receiving two rations. Or getting a candy bar or some other additional little treat.

Yes, I like this spell idea very much.
Digo 9th Oct 2014, 8:05 AM edit delete reply
I once got an apple on Halloween. I melted caramel candies over it and ate it that way. Not too bad!
nathan400 9th Oct 2014, 8:35 PM edit delete reply
I would think that a 1 would be more along the lines of a razorblade apple, myself.
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 11:25 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
You know, people who put razor blades in apples are just regular people like you and me.

You would be surprised how kind and thoughtful they are.
sidhe3141 10th Oct 2014, 12:39 AM edit delete reply
Then there's the people who put hot sauce in rice balls. I knew someone who got hit with a baseball bat for that.
Raxon 10th Oct 2014, 4:47 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
You mean you don't make spicy pepper sausage riceballs?
DoctorSweet 10th Oct 2014, 6:43 AM edit delete reply
Also this: http://wondermark.com/767
DoctorSweet 10th Oct 2014, 6:43 AM edit delete reply
Also this: http://wondermark.com/767
Specter 9th Oct 2014, 7:32 AM edit delete reply
Specter
I love random rolls of nonsense. I have a character now actually who does that a lot. In a campaign we have, I am playing a slave kobold fighter who currently has a +15 the skill of butler, and it has aided my group and I through a manor that has seen better days.

My kobold, that has a disorder of cleanliness, had cleaned the manor and it's grounds before, during, and after we dealt with a cult and their little puppet too (which I ate because it was a jerk).

The entire cleaning process however, I got nothing less then a 25 every time, in every room, at any possibility... and I still wasn't paid for my work, because I was still the slave of another, and they got the money instead, seemed fair.
Digo 9th Oct 2014, 8:16 AM edit delete reply
I occasionally make random nonsense rolls. When I played as The Great & Powerful Trixie, I'd often make skill checks for things that aren't really skills, such as her "Rolling eyes check" to see just how far she could roll them at someone's dumb idea, her "Detect Hax" check for when the GM would do something rail-roady, and one time when she was playing with a firearm I declared "Trixie turns this gun into a stick of butter."

Crit succeeded that check. :)
Summoned Singer 9th Oct 2014, 12:04 PM edit delete reply
Summoned Singer
So I guess you were simply one hell of a butler?
Summoned Singer 9th Oct 2014, 12:12 PM edit delete reply
Summoned Singer
image
Specter 9th Oct 2014, 1:43 PM edit delete reply
Specter
EXACTLY!

I made my kobold (Seb) based off of Sebastian. So far though, my butler skill seems to only help with cleaning. Everything else is off limits. It makes me sad.

Plus, Black Butler is a great show.
Classic Steve 9th Oct 2014, 7:57 AM edit delete reply
I'd call it a tootsie roll.
Digo 9th Oct 2014, 8:16 AM edit delete reply
Hahaha!! :D
Guest 9th Oct 2014, 11:01 AM edit delete reply
you win a free rim shot
Caelus Storm 9th Oct 2014, 8:11 AM edit delete reply
I don't think I've used candy (i tend to eat it as soon as it's in sight) but I've used candy wrappers for all sorts of things. Gum-wrapper wyrmlings and pop-tab hell ravens are just a few examples.
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 8:14 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
heh. hehehehe. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You gave me an idea for something... Evil.

You gave me the idea to use acid tabs as game pieces. But since that's illegal, I could just place a bit of MSG on a cookie and grin as the others eat it.
Guest 9th Oct 2014, 8:12 AM edit delete reply
During a D&D session around Halloween one year, the DM used packs of Smarties to represent mooks and said that whoever kills the mook gets the candy. Burned an encounter power and my action point on minions but I got lots of candy out of it.
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 8:17 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Don't forget that for poison enemies, you can have sour candy, and for fire based foes, cinnamon candy. one thing I like to surprise people with is rice candy. See, there's a little rice paper covering over the candy. You just pop it in your mouth and the rice paper dissolves.
Curb 9th Oct 2014, 8:31 AM edit delete reply
Oh, I've had those Raxon, a friend of mine introduced me to them when we were in elementary school, rather tasty.

Unfortunately, I've never used candy in gaming. Snacks, however, as a tabletop gamer, come in handy. I've had to battle a proxy hive tyrant in 40K, the proxy was a coke can(the guy hadn't finished painting his tyrant, we told him we were cool with it unfinished, but some people...).
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 8:34 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
You can get some really good candy cheap in the asian food section of the store.

And then there are shrimp crackers. Hot damn do I love my shrimpy crackers.

Then again, my lust for diminuitive white women has been well documented.
Philadelphus 9th Oct 2014, 11:12 AM edit delete reply
Philadelphus
I hear you with that peeve, Newbiespud. Thankfully the players in my campaign are all good about not doing that, but I fully understand how annoying it could be.

Nice collection of stories in the video, too.
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 11:55 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
I have a little game I play to increase the tension in the group. I pass a note to the DM telling them to smile and nod. Then I roll some dice, and glance at the other players, while writing things down where others can't see. The notes actually say things like, "first roll, good. Second roll bad. Third roll bad. Die is cursed. Next die."
Mykin 9th Oct 2014, 1:25 PM edit delete reply
Mykin
While I try not to do that, there have been times when I announced a roll and no one was paying attention to what I said until after I rolled. Most of the time they just let me keep it (I've mentioned before that my rolls normally suck) but I usually end up just re-rolling it out of fairness for everyone else.

Also, Raxon, can I please steal that idea for next week's game? That is just too funny a thing for me not to use with my DM. Especially since we tend to get new people every so often (game store encounters are fun like that) so they would definitely have no clue as to what was going on. Though, I tend to stay away from the DM so he can continue to lie to me about what the dice actually say about the nasty things trying to kill me without the risk of me finding out so...meh, we'll see.
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 2:37 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
By all means. Also, you might roll a 20 an laugh, then hand the DM a note, telling him to sigh and roll a die.
Mykin 9th Oct 2014, 4:22 PM edit delete reply
Mykin
That actually might work better. Would confuse everyone even worse when I roll a 1 and then laugh before passing the note. And given my rolls, that's more likely to happen than a 20.
StoneCliff 9th Oct 2014, 11:15 AM edit delete reply
StoneCliff
Not candy, per se, but i did play a paladin that baked pies. Delicious, evil smiting pies.
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 11:49 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Please, please, please tell me that you had holy avenger pie tins.
StoneCliff 9th Oct 2014, 11:58 AM edit delete reply
StoneCliff
Alas, no, the campaign didn't last long enough for that. I did plan on investing in cold iron cooking ware, however.
Digo 9th Oct 2014, 12:44 PM edit delete reply
The irony is delicious!

I would love to see that paladin swing a cold-iron frying pan as a weapon.
Zeeth 9th Oct 2014, 5:39 PM edit delete reply
Hey, there are those cast-iron pie pocket makers you can buy -- two curved plates hinged together, on a stick. Basically, make some sort of sandwich (fruit jam or preserves recommended but it could be any sort of filling), close the plates around it, and heat in the campfire until your bread is toasted. Open up for cheap, delicious hot pie!
you know that guy 11th Oct 2014, 4:52 AM edit delete reply
A pie-baking paladin should have a +5 returning Frisbie pie tin.
Kaze Koichi 9th Oct 2014, 11:32 AM edit delete reply
I was waiting for this with exitement. Great job, Spud, and happy aniversary.
Disloyal Subject 9th Oct 2014, 11:36 AM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
I sometimes make rolls with no mechanical effect, and on those occasions feel no need to slow things down by announcing them ahead of time (eg a Will check upon my impoverished Hive ganger seeing a crowd of disgustingly wealthy tourists on a beach, to see if my trigger finger's itchy, in which case I'll grumble a bit and enjoy the next fight a little more) but if a roll has any result beyond directing my roleplaying, I try to clear it ahead of time.
Akgreentea 9th Oct 2014, 6:51 PM edit delete reply
In a Pathfinder game we were playing, my husband's half-orc fighter would at the start of every morning (in game) roll to see if he could steal an egg from the gnome druid's velociraptor. It actually involved two rolls, 1 to see if the velociraptor laid an egg, and another to see if he would be able to steal said egg. At least once the velociraptor laid an egg, but his poor fighter was never able to steal it, meaning he never go to enjoy the succulent taste of velociraptor eggs.
Malroth 9th Oct 2014, 11:48 AM edit delete reply
Why do I get the feeling that the "bunch of Fictional Candy" is going to come back to bite the DM in the rear later.
BorisCarlot 9th Oct 2014, 12:57 PM edit delete reply
A player in our group always rolls a D20 to see how well the session will go. The result is never, ever relevant to the success or failure.
Morathor 9th Oct 2014, 2:21 PM edit delete reply
I don't have anything for Raxon's story time, but since Newbiespud mentioned rolling for humorous effect I thought I would mention that, earlier today, I rolled a will save vs my ego. (I passed, which may be considered fortunate or unfortunate)
Mykin 9th Oct 2014, 4:22 PM edit delete reply
Mykin
May I ask why you were rolling such a save? I sense an interesting story behind that.
Morathor 10th Oct 2014, 5:37 PM edit delete reply
Basically my character had been entrusted with a piece of technology he had NO idea how to operate, and the reasonable thing would have been to hand it off to somebody who did. However, my character can be overly prideful so I wasn't sure if I actually wanted him to do that. I figured I'd leave it up to chance.
Giggle Tail 9th Oct 2014, 2:24 PM edit delete reply
Giggle Tail
"the main event will be starting soon"

As soon as I read this, I thought "don't you mean, "MANE event"?"

...Yeah, I hate me, too.
Mykin 9th Oct 2014, 4:38 PM edit delete reply
Mykin
Yea, yea, yea, go on and pony up $1 for the pun jar for that one.

...*sigh* crap.
LegendofMoriad 9th Oct 2014, 8:25 PM edit delete reply
Accidental puns are always jarring, aren't they?

...Add another dollar...
kriss1989 10th Oct 2014, 4:38 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Holla holla get a dolla!

...that's not a pony reference so I don't have to add one. It also wasn't a pun, I was referencing something from DoTA 2.
Mykin 10th Oct 2014, 8:13 AM edit delete reply
Mykin
Umm, it's just a pun jar, not a pony jar. If it was a pony jar, we'd have gold plated Spud's pc by now.
kriss1989 11th Oct 2014, 5:05 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Yes, but I also noted it wasn't a pun! Mentioning gold plating in response to the holla dolla build however is. *holds out jar*
Mykin 11th Oct 2014, 9:06 PM edit delete reply
Mykin
I fail to see how that is a pun in any definition of the word.
Porphyrogenitus 9th Oct 2014, 2:27 PM edit delete reply
One of my very early forays as a GM was with my group's introductory Rogue Trader campaign. I took over for a session just to get a feel for how things were on the other side of the storytelling, and to push a few world-building ideas I'd had.

Most things were going pretty smoothly, until my players found a planet with a stereotypical sci-fi plant that had zero nutritional value, but which wasn't poisonous. Basically, it was pure empty bulk. The typical reaction to such a find, and the one that had inspired me to introduce it based on reading a variety of works in which such things had appeared, was that said plants are essentially useless and the planet thus would not be obviously valuable (though there could easily be hidden riches, like ores, or ancient ruins, or whatever).

Unfortunately for me as GM, and fortunately for the party, my fellow players were an economist (a hard-core free-marketeer), a debater (who dabbled in most everything, and was reasonably inventive), and a math whiz (who loved the book-keeping and rules lawyering more than anything else).

They came up with a plan to monetize the plant as a weight-loss food. Spice it up with flavors of whatever kind, and sell it to the decadent rich of a thousand worlds. Let them stuff their faces as much as they like without ever gaining any weight. It became the staple luxury food of the Koronus Expanse (soon to be Sector) and Kalixus Sector.

As the title says, it's not quite candy, but it is pretty close.
Fury of the Tempest 9th Oct 2014, 2:31 PM edit delete reply
Some one needs to make Story Time a regular thing. Raxon? How about you?
Raxon 9th Oct 2014, 2:53 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Story time is a regular thing, more often than not. Also, on occasion, story time is less than fruitful. Like the time I called for story time about forcing elves to give themselves tongue baths at gunpoint.

Hey, don't give me that look. They're elves. They're more limber than a nineteen year old contortionist with the assistance of having her arms and legs broken, and a large, burly man helping her force herself into the new shapes. Besides, they have those long, powerful tongues, and thick, viscous saliva, specially designed for eating the leaves off acacia. The saliva coats the sharp acacia thorns and prevents them from harming their tongues.
Mykin 9th Oct 2014, 4:36 PM edit delete reply
Mykin
I will give you that look and I'm so glad I developed a strong mental censor for moments like this.

As for Story Time, are you talking about having more youtube videos or just more Story Time in the comments section? Because, as Raxon said, it's already a regular thing in the comments section. As for the videos, they kinda heavily rely on the stories told in the comment sections in order to work. So, unless regular thing means every 100 comics or so, I doubt we'd have enough fuel to keep it going for any reasonable length of time.

But this does remind me, I need to write down what happened yesterday with my group. That is one story that needs to be told at one point here. Just need to wait for a story time about how ill-conceived plans go horribly wrong and yet still work despite itself...or something like that. Honestly, with what happened, I'm sure I'll be able to bring it out at some point.
Robin Bobcat 9th Oct 2014, 4:54 PM edit delete reply
I've actually heard of a wargame concept where the units are represented by candy. The trick is that all killed forces MUST be eaten. On the spot. Thus, you must carefully plan just what units you are willing to consume, and which you will gorge your opponent on...
Zuche 10th Oct 2014, 3:48 AM edit delete reply
Wow. That sounds about as rough as playing in an alcoholic chess tournament, where the value of the piece determines its alcohol content and each must be consumed before the game can continue.

(That might be tolerable for experienced drinkers playing at standard time controls. Blitz controls would be extremely ill-advised.)
Curb 10th Oct 2014, 7:46 AM edit delete reply
Or Battleship Shots...if you have never heard of it, google it, but basicly, build a battleship board with ships big enough to hold shot classes instead of peg holes. When a ship takes damage, drink that shot...
Raxon 10th Oct 2014, 8:13 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
So, nobody here ever played Philosobeer before?

It's simple. You agree to a drink, and you make philosophical arguments. When a person relies on a fallacy, like the slippery slope or ad hoc, or just refuting the opposition without actually presenting an argument against it, you take a drink. The more you drink, the shorter your arguments are gonna be.

Alternatively, you could play alcoholic Go. For each piece you capture, take a shot. You will be plastered in no time.
Akouma 9th Oct 2014, 8:58 PM edit delete reply
Akouma
In games where there's a Willpower stat, or other stats that represent bravery or some kind of tolerance, I generally make up some kind of DC in my head for whether or not my character would do something unless they have an explicit reason to do it besides it being there. For example, I once had a cowardly character who had run away from an encounter while the other PCs were still fighting. I rolled a check against his Wisdom (which in Mage is the equivalent of Morality in base World of Darkness) to see if he would re-enter the fight to help his friends.

Since these checks aren't things the game explicitly calls for and the results of them don't matter to anyone but me, I don't bother telling the DM or other PCs about it because it would waste time. It probably looks to them like I'm just fiddling with my dice or something.
KeenBlade 9th Oct 2014, 11:08 PM edit delete reply
How did I not know Friendship is Dragons was a thing? I'm adding this to my read list.
kriss1989 10th Oct 2014, 4:40 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
New reader! You just missed the issue 500 celebration! What terrible timing.
Raxon 10th Oct 2014, 4:54 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Welcome, newbie! Have some sauce straight from the womb to your table. Freshly made from all natural, free range afterbirth. Handled with care and combined with traditional herbs and spices for a taste of the old country.
Mykin 10th Oct 2014, 8:09 AM edit delete reply
Mykin
...Umm, don't mind Raxon. He's always like that. *Ahem* Anyway, welcome! We still have cookies on the table over there if you want some. Mind the death traps on the way over there, however...they cost a lot of money and I'd rather you not set any of them off until I can explain to the delivery man that I didn't order 1 million death traps.
Specter 10th Oct 2014, 10:35 AM edit delete reply
Specter
Welcome. Take advise from all, or none, or any combination of people (it really doesn't matter). Have some fun, share some stories (some of us are running out).

Also, I ordered those traps Mykin, sorry I didn't say anything. I was hoping to catch whoever keeps setting off the fire alarm at 3 in the morning... Although, I ordered Non-Lethal traps, not deadly.
Raxon 10th Oct 2014, 10:55 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
I noticed you accidentally ordered nonlethal traps. Don't worry, I fixed that for you.
Mykin 10th Oct 2014, 1:34 PM edit delete reply
Mykin
Look, I don't care who ordered them as long as they get out of here befor-*Boom*

...I am not paying for that one.
Specter 10th Oct 2014, 1:52 PM edit delete reply
Specter
I didn't "accidently" order non-lethal, I purposely did so. I hope you can get of the rest before the one's in the pool goes of-.

*Goes off*

What have we done.
Destrustor 10th Oct 2014, 4:01 PM edit delete reply
Destrustor
Wow, that divebomb I did in the pool was way more intense than I expected.
Tengokujin 10th Oct 2014, 7:26 PM edit delete reply
Tengokujin
::police sirens::
::pulls up in a squad car::
Hey, we heard reports of explosions, and I know you guys occasionally have them for good reason, but could you tell me what's-
::KABLOOEY::
... what's going on.
Specter 10th Oct 2014, 7:57 PM edit delete reply
Specter
We are, umm, fighting.

Undead, changelings.

Because they have, umm...

Because we received information that they were going to steal the 501 pages of this comic, and distribute them to incinerators across town. So, we ordered millions of explosive traps to protect the precious pages from any harm.

*Roll bluff vs. sense motive*
Mykin 10th Oct 2014, 9:48 PM edit delete reply
Mykin
Good thinking there, Specter. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a picture of what's left of the comment section to try and convince Spud that nothing happened while he was gone and that everything is fine.

Hopefully, he'll just post the next comic before reading this far down and we won't have to worry about paying his insurance anything.
Raxon 10th Oct 2014, 11:53 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Blame it on the ALF. Say they were trying to free the fictional ponies from the tyranny of being dubbed by human voice actors.
Newbiespud 11th Oct 2014, 12:00 AM edit delete reply
Newbiespud
Too late.
Raxon 11th Oct 2014, 12:15 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Uh oh. Dudes, you are in so much trouble.
Mykin 11th Oct 2014, 6:21 AM edit delete reply
Mykin
...*Smoke bomb and vanishes*
TDR 11th Oct 2014, 4:09 AM edit delete reply
As a miniature collector and painter and modder[etc etc etc] I never used candy. Mostly cause the DM kept eating it before it could be played as something