Page 498 - Character Backups

2nd Oct 2014, 6:00 AM
Character Backups
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes)
<<First Latest>>

Author Notes:

Newbiespud 2nd Oct 2014, 6:00 AM edit delete
Newbiespud
Of course, if I made a joke out of every character in the show voiced by Tabitha St. Germain, we'd be here for another month...

95 Comments:

Raxon 2nd Oct 2014, 6:02 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Tell a story about playing a temp character!
Toric 2nd Oct 2014, 6:03 AM edit delete reply
Crap, beat me to the post before I could refresh and see you there.
Raxon 2nd Oct 2014, 6:34 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
I'll be starting, I take it? Alrighty, then!

Let me tell you a fun little story. It all starts in a game of D&D 3.5. I had a rogue who banished to another realm by accident. Mikhail, of the thieves guild, of the cagey bees order. Well, I needed someone to play, so I brought in a backup character. Enter Erin.

Erin was a kind, gentle paladin, who had sworn an oath, never to strike a living creature. This led to him being called a wuss by the rest of the party. He was the gentlest paladin you'd ever seen.

Then one day, a drow started trouble in town, and took an old woman hostage. That old woman was Erin's mother. Erin responded by calmly approaching. The drow knew damn well that Erin couldn't harm him, so he laughed Erin off as bluffing.

Erin, however, had a secret. He had sunk a lot of points into intimidation and diplomacy. He also had a homebrew paladin spell, called stunning force. Basically, it did nonlethal damage, and it worked by displaying his righteous anger, and causing it to manifest as a vision, a-like so! Now, the thing is that I rolled so well, and had enough points in intimidation, as well as my will modifier, that I didn't stun him. I completely overwhelmed him. The DM did not expect me to attack the drow, and the drow took so much 'shock' damage, that he keeled over dead of a heart attack.

Nobody made fun of Erin after that. I got Mikhail back the very next session after I revealed that Erin often kills people, but true to his oath, he never lays a hand on them. Apparently, there had been a string of murders attributed to a serial killer. Turns out Erin had been killing muggers, killers, and other assorted criminals in alleyways.

Also note: Erin never lost his paladinhood for this.
recentteen14 2nd Oct 2014, 4:45 PM edit delete reply
I haven't played a temp character, but I know a friend did. When joining our campaign to try it out, he brought out a swashbuckler named Cap'n. He got bored of us being lost in a forest after a couple of sessions and left, so we had to find a way to get rid of his character.

Queue the DM rolling shark on the random encounters list and crushing Cap'n with it. The excuse was that 2 giants were playing catch with their pet shark in the middle of a forest.

Least he got a burial at sea... creature...
Evilbob 2nd Oct 2014, 9:59 PM edit delete reply
Evilbob
lol!

Sounds like you have an awesome DM! Just one look at that character sheet (and the homebrew spell) and anybody's have known what kind of no-good you were up to.
grtgfbll 3rd Oct 2014, 3:57 AM edit delete reply
grtgfbll
I never get tired of the misadventures of your terrifyingly OP characters!
Toric 2nd Oct 2014, 6:13 AM edit delete reply
Oh well. One week I forgot my stormbender (think all weather-magic sorcerer taped to a static generator), so my backup character joined the party for a week. She was a lawful good succubus paladin wielding a scythe.

She'd been captured by a real paladin, who slowly managed to convert her to good and getting her to fall in love with him. She became his partner and almost died fighting off some demons with him, so he sacrificed himself to save her, somehow transferring part of his paladin-powers (minus the spells) to her. A small part of his spirit attached itself to her scythe, and she was looking for a way to restore him.

I would've kept playing her 'til the end, but my other one was needed for story reasons.
you know that guy 2nd Oct 2014, 7:16 AM edit delete reply
I'd keep playing her till the end, if you know what I mean. Bow chicka wow wow such tail, many negative level.
Disloyal Subject 2nd Oct 2014, 6:14 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
You embrace death by negative levels?
Okay. I always did have a fondness for Wights.
Digo 2nd Oct 2014, 6:29 AM edit delete reply
Hmmm... can't think of a temp character that I've played. I've had a rare occasion that a friend from out of town shows up and wants to sit in on a game, but they rarely do a lot of interacting. They just like to watch us crack bad jokes and kill things in silly fashion. :)
Specter 2nd Oct 2014, 8:06 AM edit delete reply
Specter
I have played a temp character before, but it was kind of weird. At this rather large playing group at a local game store, they had a number of "character cameo appearances" (or whatever the proper term is). I played as my great wizard, Popsicle Bacon.

... Unfortunately, due to how long the game was, and I was on a schedule, Popsicle Bacon caught the first space shuttle out of there (it was in a modern era pathfinder game, so it made some sense).
StoneCliff 2nd Oct 2014, 8:44 AM edit delete reply
Finally, a story time i can contribute to! I've got a bit of a spin on temp characters:

It began with a gobling alchemist named Ghlarg (or glargh, or glarg, i changed the spelling everytime someone asked). Now, ghlarg was a powerhouse of an alchemist, capable of blowing enemies up in broad day light without them noticing. (And all before level 8.) Unfortunately Ghlarg fell in with the wrong crowd, and had to sell his identity. He left the party. (This was planned by myself and the gm to be a temporary thing)

In comes my next character, Cador the bard. Now, Cador played a single bongo, and he played it extremely well. Like, enough to intimidate colossal creatures. I began having so much fun as Cador, i ended up abandoning ghlarg, and making Cador my main.

And then Cador died five times in as many sessions, but that's another story.
Seanpony Renaud 2nd Oct 2014, 10:01 AM edit delete reply
Well in my play group temp characters are not at all uncommon in our bigger story lines. I've had guys leave for years in game and months IRL because they were off learning how to forge from Dwarfish Sects or traveled to the outter planes to get some MacGuffin that wasn't really a quest or locating a hidden dungeon.

My favorite was probably a kid I named Kurama who was a different class (A Ranger Druid instead of a Chemist) but skills and personality wise he was such an expy of the main character that it hurt and everybody was like "You're serious Sean? This guy is going to maintain the rare herb garden your other character started?" And I was like, hell yeah do you remember the BS I went through to get regular access to Blue Seed and Hate Wart? There's a goddamn Catobleas in that swamp! No matter how high a level I am I'm just one failed save away from being an ornament. So yes, this character is gonna keep up the goddamn rare and expensive garden that you jack asses aren't!
Disloyal Subject 2nd Oct 2014, 11:30 AM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
I wasn't sure what to tell, but the storytime below reminded me of a temporary DMPC.
The party's been contracted/shanghaied by the local city-state's bigoted captain of the guard into eradicating a nearby kobold dragon cult for the sake of the half-dragon Knight's honor. Rather than become the latest party to die horribly in the cult's well-trapped labyrinthian front entrance, they use the map the guard gave them to find a back entrance through the interior of a mountain. After getting through 3 floors of undead and monsters, they made it into abandoned kobold warrens and followed them outward to the temple.
Some stealthy observation showed the kobolds being people - laughing, dancing, feasting, telling stories. It was a party!
Then, as the moral dilemma hit them, the kobolds brought out a heretical kobold who refused to worship their dragon and started torturing him for entertainment. That roused the party to action, especially once it was revealed that the heretical kobold in question was a new PC.
...I was gonna get to the DMPC who would have defected to the party midway through the bossfight, but I think that's enough of a story for now. It certainly fits the prompt below; I'll save the tale of Brightscales for another time, but I will share that he was a Half-(Green)Dragon Lizardfolk Barbarian with a warmaul and a vow of poverty who worshipped Tamara, dragon goddess of life, light, and mercy.
The Angry Vegan 2nd Oct 2014, 5:56 PM edit delete reply
You may as well say that's the case with something like half my party, since they rarely actually play the same build twice. Class, skills, equipment, race, name, it's practically a miracle when we don't have to start the session by figuring out what's been retconned.
Zontan 2nd Oct 2014, 6:11 PM edit delete reply
Last week, my character (a pseudodragon) got into a big argument with his human (another PC) and flew off in a huff. The unfortunate part is that the rest of the party is going Delving in like two hours in game time, so I, uh, might be playing a temp character this Saturday. >.>
dracostarcloud 2nd Oct 2014, 7:51 PM edit delete reply
dracostarcloud
Normally, it's my Tengu Sorcerer, Kobber, who does some crazy stuff, but the one time I had to also play an NPC, Kobber was the straight man.

The NPC kept getting into trouble, often by setting off traps with the intention of helping solve a puzzle or trap. I think we ended up getting diseased and burned and attacked by horrifying abominable crosses between Eidolons, demons, and paladins.

Good times.
Cyborg-Lucario 5th Jul 2015, 2:35 AM edit delete reply
Cyborg-Lucario
Me and my group seems to have a fun time when playing temp characters, so there are too many stories to remember. XD
Toric 2nd Oct 2014, 6:02 AM edit delete reply
Element of Honesty, huh? We're watchin' you Applejack. Tell a story about a time people thought your character was something or someone it wasn't.
Digo 2nd Oct 2014, 6:35 AM edit delete reply
In a pony RPG, there was a really neat adventure where the party's changeling member turned out to not be her, but a changeling from a different hive impersonating her. A hilarious case of 'Double-Changeling' because while we saw and acknowledged the clues something was wrong, we just couldn't believe it was true. Curse our blinders!

Yeah when the reveal happened we all got our butts kicked.
Raxon 2nd Oct 2014, 7:10 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Let's see here... There was my lawful good necromancer who was a genuinely kind and generous person, but happened to be a very depressing person to be around, because he often didn't realize that his speech would take a morose turn. I played him like a very rapidly bipolar Boris Karloff. "Look, children! That mother bird is feeding her babies. They need to grow strong, because their mother will die someday, and won't be able to take care of them anymore." He was a prime suspect in a murder investigation.

Then there was my serial killer Paladin. He was fantastic, even if I did only get to play him for one session.
Specter 2nd Oct 2014, 7:59 AM edit delete reply
Specter
I played a small campaign that was set up for our small group, and the only restriction was no humans (because they were like Roman people, taking over everything and destroying what they couldn't' have) I at the time decided to play a gnoll samurai (weird, but true). Their were many times I showed my true colors (CE) between destroying giant mechanical lumber robots to tearing the throats out of my enemies mid-fight.

Our DM (when he found out that I was evil, let alone chaotic) said I couldn't play him because I wasn't playing that alignment right (because he seems to be in the group of chaotic evil are psychopaths).

The truly unsuspecting thing was my partner who was a good nymph. Through her own real life paranoia, she killed a number of innocent people to make sure she wasn't found out in an enemy base.
Disloyal Subject 2nd Oct 2014, 11:01 AM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
If destroying giant robots and tearing out throats (in the heat of combat, anyway) is evil, then most of my characters just took a dive into the deep end of the alignment pool. Brutal methods for good ends are still good, just scarier; if you're gonna kill them anyway, what difference does it make how? (Poison use being inherently evil is stupid - though codes of honor may prohibit it.) Horrifying the enemy with your bloodlust in combat can unnerve them and give you an edge to end hostilities with maximal efficiency and minimal casualties. I guess a knightly character might try to avoid marring the features of worthy opponents so they could be buried with honor... Though I certainly agree that not all CE are gibbering lunatics.
Characters who didn't match expectations? Paladins. Someday I'll meet one who's played as a selfless and kind knight in shining armour, instead of a sour and grumpy one wearing (nonliteral) jade glasses. They're still upstanding champions of the weak, for the most part, but practical to a fault.
Specter 2nd Oct 2014, 4:53 PM edit delete reply
Specter
Yeah, most of the kills (that wasn't in combat) were just for quenching the thirst.
Disloyal Subject 2nd Oct 2014, 6:06 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
You routinely found pretexts for unnecessary noncombat murder, and he still said you were doing CE wrong? Huh.
Specter 2nd Oct 2014, 10:27 PM edit delete reply
Specter
Well, I "had" to do that to stay CE (I usually just become very gruesome with my kills, like Powder Keg or something, but with no real reason to why I do), but a good bit of the "unnecessary" kills were like retired citizens (of various occupations, for good or otherwise), or small pockets of refugees, or the homeless... and my "evil" title was still contested (the DM was a little towards "maximum city efficiency/ no trouble makers" was good (he's sort of like Claude Frollo).
Crazy Tom 3rd Oct 2014, 9:25 PM edit delete reply
@ Disloyal subject
I'm playing a paladin right now in a smallish game and he's a really swell guy like you described. I gave him a 12 int so he knows his stuff, and he seves Sarenrae, so he cares more about redeeming fallen foes than destroying evil. It's really really fun, and he fits great with the rest of the group. Partly because he himself is a redeemed bandit... He even has a level in rogue ;)
Mykin 2nd Oct 2014, 8:08 AM edit delete reply
Mykin
Well I think I've already talked about my spellthief that I tried to convince everyone was an npc and succeeded for about a month or so (msn based rps are wonderful aren't they?) Soo...

There was one time my fighter decided to dress up like one of the town guards in order to get half the party out of jail. I kept getting good rolls (anyone that knows me will know how rare that is) so they decided to let the guys go...right at the same time the others realized that their half orc could just punch the door down and proceeded to escape.

So we had a jailbreak on our hands and I had to keep pretending I was a guard because they decided to hold me as a hostage in order to ensure their escape. It got worse when the captain of the guards decided that I was expendable since our thief, in the last session I wasn't at, had convinced him he was a top tier crimelord (despite the fact that the thief was actually trying to convince him otherwise. Natural ones suck sometimes.) I got shot multiple times and our half-orc had to carry me out of town. Some people...
Haru No Hikaru 2nd Oct 2014, 8:32 AM edit delete reply
This isn't my character, but someone else's.
2 of the other players had a mercenary group, and they had been hired to protect this guys family as they traveled to a big temple to get a curse off. The mercenary PC's couldnt handle it, so they had to go out and hire us. This resulted in our thief trying not to get thrown out out-of-hand, so she claimed to be a sorceress. She had to do a lot of bluffing after that, since she didnt know the first thing about magic, and couldnt even rely on me, the only spellcaster, because I was actually a druid. Lots of fun little things until we got another level, and she actually got her magic. 'Course, then there were problems of her not actually being as powerful as a sorceress "of her level" should be :D
kiapet 2nd Oct 2014, 6:03 AM edit delete reply
Wow, I didn't even realize she voiced that one!
Also, I could totally see Granny Smith being all that.
kiapet 2nd Oct 2014, 6:05 AM edit delete reply
And wow, do you guys post fast!
Adens 2nd Oct 2014, 6:11 AM edit delete reply
Oh yea, Tabitha voices a lot of people you don't realize. Like Gravy Boat, the sentient gravy boat in Keep Calm and Flutter On. Can't wait to see that character sheet.
Digo 2nd Oct 2014, 6:31 AM edit delete reply
Tabitha is amazingly talented. She voices a talking dog in the kids show 'Martha Speaks' and if you're not that familiar with Tabitha you might not notice it. My daughter didn't until I played clips of Martha and Rarity side by side. :)
Zuche 2nd Oct 2014, 9:17 PM edit delete reply
You could say that DHX works are just Peppered with examples of her voice.
Odious Call 3rd Oct 2014, 7:53 AM edit delete reply
Odious Call
Wait a minute, that's a show!?
I used to love reading the book, though I never imagined Martha would sound like Rara.
Anonymous 2nd Oct 2014, 6:17 AM edit delete reply
She also voiced Derpy...

Someone should make that character sheet, I don't know enough about D&D.
Disloyal Subject 2nd Oct 2014, 7:03 AM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
Hmm... Some kind of Barbarian variant? I'm not well-versed in 4e.
In 3.5, I'd guess a Whirling Frenzy barbarian with a dip in Dungeoncrasher, playing up her clumsiness, and maybe some kind of feat to pick up Bardic Lore. Not sure why she'd need Bardic Lore, but it feels right.
Digo 2nd Oct 2014, 7:23 AM edit delete reply
Grey DeLisle did the absolute Best Derpy voice in my opinion, from the fan animation "Epic Muffin Time". I cannot think of Derpy sounding any other way since viewing that.
Raxon 2nd Oct 2014, 7:34 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
I liked this voice for Derpy.

It's a nonstandard voice for a girl, and it really gave her a unique feel as a character. Then they changed it, and she went from being kind of clumsy, to just another airhead ditz. Ho hum.
Mykin 2nd Oct 2014, 7:57 AM edit delete reply
Mykin
I agree with you there Raxon, I wish they would of kept that voice for her. Oh well...
Derpmind 2nd Oct 2014, 8:15 AM edit delete reply
I don't remember who did that voice, but I do remember that she thought it was just a background character and wasn't told the gender, so she did a male voice. Also, the script originally had her named Ditzy Doo, but someone had it changed to Derpy to acknowledge the fans. Those two little mistakes did not add up well.

Buuut that's all in the past these days.
kriss1989 2nd Oct 2014, 7:30 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
We have builds, not variants in 4E. That said, Thunderborn Barbarian build. Literally containing the furry of a storm within their bodies, it explodes out into lightning and thunder blasts, and AoE bursts, causing massive damage to all around them. Due to their patron spirit they are, in a sense, a living embodiment of destruction and disaster.
Raxon 2nd Oct 2014, 9:27 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
You say furry of a storm. Now I wanna see the X-men in fursuits.
kriss1989 2nd Oct 2014, 9:31 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
I'm dyslexic, stuff like that trips me up! Somebody actually had to explain to me that the shirt said Untie instead of Unite.
Raxon 2nd Oct 2014, 5:53 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Nope! Too late! I'm making a team of super powered anthros who protect a world that hates and fears them.

I might have mild dislexia, as well. I have trouble reading sometimes, but I haven't been diagnosed. I get a lot of ideas from misreading things.
you know that guy 4th Oct 2014, 5:11 AM edit delete reply
Raxon: see Squirrel Girl.
Raxon 4th Oct 2014, 5:56 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
I know her well. I am the one who reunited her with her sweetheart, after all.
FanOfMostEverything 2nd Oct 2014, 10:27 AM edit delete reply
Depends on your Derpy. Is she a well-meaning but clumsy barbarian? A bluffing rogue? A barely controlled sorcerer? All of the above? Depends on the writer.
Disloyal Subject 2nd Oct 2014, 11:11 AM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
I enjoy all of those, but favor the Barbarian approach. But then, I have some preference for eye-to-eye combat when not sniping or employing traps. It would certainly depend on the writer.
Thunderborn Barbarian doesn't sound like that great a fit to me; the lightning thing was an isolated incident so far, and backfired - I'd probably call it a racial feat for Pegasi. Maybe if we refluffed the bursts of electric damage to conveniently knocking things down, and other contrived mayhem?
kriss1989 2nd Oct 2014, 1:17 PM edit delete reply
kriss1989
You could also maybe make her Thane Born. Their charisma and leadership inspire others, providing moral bonuses. Reskin leadership into adorableness.
Disloyal Subject 2nd Oct 2014, 6:10 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
Huh, I thought that was Warlords' schtick in 4e. Fantastic, because that's pretty much my favorite kind of Barbarian! And it suits the Derpmeister well enough. Make it so!
edit:oh, and Bards. And Clerics. And 'leader'-type characters in general, really. Fittingly enough, I have derped.
Curb 2nd Oct 2014, 5:29 PM edit delete reply
Don't have a D&D Derpy, But I do have one for my Rifts Tales of Equestria.

Though she is only part of the Gap of 20 Years Storyline. She, Time Turner an OC And Daring Do (along with the PCs) set out to solve the mystery of the legendary First Empire, a period of Equestrian History thought to be pure myth.
Digo 2nd Oct 2014, 10:13 AM edit delete reply
I would love to see what kind of stories ponies have that led to one of the foals playing an astronaut. That's some Jules Verne stuff right there.

Especially with the Mare in the Moon still a thing before Twilight's time. I bet they had some real interesting 'To the moon' type novels.
Disloyal Subject 2nd Oct 2014, 6:12 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
Gotta emplace the orbital friendship cannon somehow.
Do we know she's an astronaut, though? Plenty of other professionals and 'nauts have snazzy helmets for their sealed suits!
kriss1989 2nd Oct 2014, 8:02 PM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Like deep sea divers!
Digo 3rd Oct 2014, 7:53 AM edit delete reply
Perhaps, but in the episode Filli Vanilli, we saw Fluttershy using a diving helmet that's more like the classic design. The helmet on the filly from Nightmare Night just seems to look 'astronaut' to me.
Philadelphus 2nd Oct 2014, 10:51 AM edit delete reply
Philadelphus
This strip made me think of Soldier's line from one of the TF2 comics: "I have children! Give us candy! It is the law!"
Disloyal Subject 2nd Oct 2014, 11:06 AM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
...and just like that, I know what I'll be wearing for Halloween this year. Thank you!
kriss1989 2nd Oct 2014, 1:18 PM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Well, I'm not arguing with the crazy man.
Raxon 2nd Oct 2014, 8:12 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
In that case, Go and fetch for me a young maiden. Preferrably short, with moderate build, no extremely skinny ones. She must be presented tied to a chair and seated at my kitchen table. I need guinea pigs for my recipes.

Well?
kriss1989 3rd Oct 2014, 4:59 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Here you go, a box of guinie pigs! I got them at Pet Smart.
Raxon 3rd Oct 2014, 5:00 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Awesome. Now get me that girl. I have a recipe that needs testing.
kriss1989 3rd Oct 2014, 1:40 PM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Well as long as its not supposed to be lethal or anything, maybe I could test it out? Guinie pigs sound like they could be tasty. Like bacon.
Raxon 3rd Oct 2014, 4:09 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
They taste more like rabbit or squirrel, I believe.
kriss1989 3rd Oct 2014, 5:17 PM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Rabbit yes, but squirel I wouldn't try. Or at leat not campus squirel. I know where they've been.
Raxon 3rd Oct 2014, 5:29 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Believe it or not, wild squirrel is one of the few creatures you can eat raw, with little or no cooking. This is because they have a slightly higher acidity content than most mammals, due to their diet of acorns, which are high in tannic. Thus, there is a much, much lower risk of parasites from them.

Bear in mind that raw meat is only hazardous to eat due to bacteria, parasites, and the fact it might be slightly off, due to age. A few days old means you should definitely cook it, and salmonella thrives in meat packing plants.

But a squirrel you shot with a pellet gun, prepared with your own knife, should be fine.

Also, campus squirrels are probably tastier than wild squirrels, due to their high intake of MSG and pizza rolls.
Evilbob 3rd Oct 2014, 6:51 PM edit delete reply
Evilbob
Anyone who is reading this and actually thinks this is a good idea...
Please, please, please, PLEASE don't listen to the crazy man. Don't try it at home. And while technically, you can eat anything type of raw meat, it is highly suggested that you cook it first due to the hazardous nature of uncooked food!
Specter 3rd Oct 2014, 7:45 PM edit delete reply
Specter
To anyone who listens to Evilbob's comment... LISTEN TO HIM! From first hand experience, I have gotten sick to raw meat, and was sick (with everyone else who ate the raw food) for THREE WEEKS. I was in enough pain to be uncomfortable all day long (but not enough for a pain killer of any kind).

As for you, Raxon, here is your girl. Don't ask me why or how. In fact, here's four, I have no use for them. Their all clones anyway, so do what you will, I don't care.
Raxon 4th Oct 2014, 1:44 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Excellent. Four innocent young maidens. Now, to test my newest weapon. Stone roasted venison.

Concept is simple. You heat a (very clean) stone over an open flame, and place the venison over it. Smash the venison between that stone and another very clean stone as it cooks.

I know it sounds like a stupid way of cooking, but hear me out. Hitting the meat with the stone will tenderize it, and the type of stone you're using should have a minimally porous surface. I suppose you could use a cast iron pan, but that might dent, and you don't want that. Besides, I got this slate slab anyway, might as well see how I can use it.
kriss1989 3rd Oct 2014, 8:57 PM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Yeah no, campus squirrels dwel in garbage cans eating scraps, you are cooking that shit thoroughly if you're going to mess ith that. Regular squirel you should at least roast a little, it helps break down cellular tissue making the meat both easier to digest and more nutritious.
Raxon 4th Oct 2014, 12:07 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Granted. Raw meat is ALWAYS a last resort. Still, as far as risk assessment, if I have to to survive, I'll go with something that's less risky.

Might just be my strong stomach, if raw meat makes you ill. Then again, last time we were fed raw or undercooked meat, I was the one who didn't get sick.

Maybe I am the crazy one. Then again, fresh, raw tuna is freaking delicious, and I love bluefish. I eat raw foods sometimes, and I don't think I've ever had a problem. I'm known in the family as the one with the cast iron stomach, and the worst I ever got was a bit of heartburn.

Holy crap! I've got an honest to goodness superpower, and it's metal as hell!

And, FYI, you have to eat the heart raw. cooking it ruins the power.


Wait a minute. I just remembered something. Superman is crazy. He believes that bullets will bounce off him harmlessly. Now whether they do or not, he must, by necessity, be insane, because at some point, he had to put that to the test, and did so fully expecting himself to remain unharmed.

GL believes he can create weapons out of green light because he sticks his ring in a lantern every morning. Whether or not it works is inconsequential. Nobody else has these abilities. To believe that they possess them is, itself, an abnormal belief, and thus, insane.

Basically, what I'm saying is that you have to be crazy in order to have superpowers.
kriss1989 4th Oct 2014, 5:30 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
The Superman one is a little crazy, but the GL one isn't. The power isn't even remotely unique, there are tens of thousands of lanterns, and now not ever all of them are green. Lantern powers are a well understood scientific weapon, transport, translation, analytical, and defense multi function system.

Also, your power rocks. Mine is just the ability to find good fanfiction.
kriss1989 2nd Oct 2014, 1:19 PM edit delete reply
kriss1989
So, did you plan for this storyline to hit in October, or was that coincidence?
Raxon 2nd Oct 2014, 5:59 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Fun fact! There has been some speculation that I am just a sock puppet for Spud.

Now, I won't say I can speak for Spud, but chances are pretty good this was intentional.

Wink wink!
Mykin 2nd Oct 2014, 10:14 PM edit delete reply
Mykin
I'm still not convinced about the sock puppet thing. I still hold that your a pet rock.

...no, excuse me, your a rock lobster. I do remember being corrected on this point from last time. And while I'm feeling like being contradictory at this very moment, I do think this was all coincidental. Otherwise, he'd wait till October 1 to start this arc.

Granted, I am not spud, so my chances of being wrong here is around 99.985%.
Evilbob 3rd Oct 2014, 6:52 PM edit delete reply
Evilbob
A sock puppet for a potato?

That explains so much!
Huor 2nd Oct 2014, 8:11 PM edit delete reply
Anybody else ever wonder why Granny Smith was taking three kids out on Nightmare Night, none of whom was her granddaughter?

Was she just following three fillies around that night, thinking that they were the CMC or something?
Raxon 2nd Oct 2014, 8:14 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
I suspect she was so tired she just lost the CMC, and started following three other fillies in her stupor. She has no idea where she is, or what she's doing, she's just too sleep deprived.
Malroth 2nd Oct 2014, 9:20 PM edit delete reply
Not to mention bad eyesight, dark surroundings and the fact that the Crusaders may have arranged this deliberately.
Wyvern 2nd Oct 2014, 10:31 PM edit delete reply
I can easily imagine the Cutie Mark Crusaders tricking Granny Smith into following the wrong three foals around Ponyville so they can duck out and get up to something foolish. Head canon accepted!
kriss1989 3rd Oct 2014, 5:03 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Don't you mean something foalish? Hahahahaha please don't hurt me.
Digo 3rd Oct 2014, 7:44 AM edit delete reply
This thread is brilliant. Love the pun too.
Odious Call 3rd Oct 2014, 4:37 AM edit delete reply
Odious Call
I should like to propose a sharing of tales, tall or otherwise, that share the common theme of someone at the table going 'You do WHAT?'. This could be yourself reacting to a player, the DM reacting to you or even a random passerby, up to you.
Anyways, my favourite probably has to be, the party managed to talk their way past a rather obliging silver dragon. They agreed to complete a task and the dragon agreed to bugger off home. Right before the dragon left the rogue called it back. 'I tell it I have a secret to share'.
Uh, ok.
'I ask it to bend down to my level (she's a halfling)'.
Uh, it agrees.
'I stab it in the eye'.
Wait what!?

Funnily enough, that encounter was followed by them brutally murdering a friendly npc whom they assisted in return for information. When the time came to pay up he gave a vague, unsatisfying answer (my fault, I forgot they even asked for information in the first place and so had nothing to share) then attempted to leave.

The party looked at one another, decided they weren't having that thank you very much, struck him in the groin, beat him to unconciousness and slit his throat.......
Between that and the time they tortured a hobgoblin and strung him up with his own entrails like a tent really showed me my players are not good people.
At all.
Euric 3rd Oct 2014, 8:07 AM edit delete reply
Scene: just after a battle with goblins, one of them was knocked out so the party could get information.

Goblin: *silent stare*

CG ranger: he's not talking, what do we do?

LG cleric: cut his finger off!

*pause*

Dm: wait you're serious?

LG cleric: sure, why not

CG ranger: I cut his finger off with my axe!
StarshineDash 3rd Oct 2014, 9:35 AM edit delete reply
Ah, good old "You do WHAT!?" I've been a purveyor of that for a long time.

My character, an elven fighter/sorcerer (it was 3.5e) is listening to the party leader (a dwarf fighter) talk to a dying Green Dragon.

ME: I walk up to the dragon and touch it, whispering words of prayer for health.
DM: You... do what? Touch it? ... Okay.

Fast forward and she slowly turns into a CE half-dragon, who then has a cursed ring of alignment change forced onto a claw so she's Lawful Good.

I have more if there's interest.
Disloyal Subject 3rd Oct 2014, 4:43 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
The GM said that when Ophilia, on the advice of ex-Inquisitorial Stormtrooper grenadier Bekowski, made a called shot for the 'Magma Jet' jetpack biomorph of a Tyranid Ravener of Hive Fleet Nidhoggr.
Apparently he'd used them in other campaigns before, and no one had ever tried that, so he had to come up with something on the spot. Sadly, she missed, and the Guardsmen made short work of it before her next turn, so finding more to try again is on my OOC to-do list; I must know what would happen.
Evilbob 3rd Oct 2014, 6:55 PM edit delete reply
Evilbob
Sounds like you're running an evil campaign! lol!

Roll with it!

Or even better, make it clear to them that they're the Big Bad that underdog heroes are trying to take down, lol
DarkFalcon 3rd Oct 2014, 10:30 AM edit delete reply
"I'll take it! I'll take twelve!"

Now I want Pinkie Pie in a Homestar Runner costume...

("How does she pick stuff up without any forelegs?")
Mykin 3rd Oct 2014, 1:18 PM edit delete reply
Mykin
Well I'm not the best artist in the world, but I am sufficiently bored enough and I'm in the mood to draw something. So here you go.
TurretBot 10th Jan 2015, 8:10 PM edit delete reply
that was beautiful, even though I've never seen homstar runner

maybe it should be you running this comi-- *shot*
Torkie 4th Oct 2014, 10:24 AM edit delete reply
Is that a Homestar Runner reference I see in the last panel? :3
sarah davise 11th Oct 2015, 10:25 AM edit delete reply
people said there is no cure on GENITAL WARTS, but today many people have now believe that there is a cure FOR WARTS/ IT can be cured through Africans root and harms,and days our great doctors have finally found the cure of GENITAL WARTS, many have get cured with the help of a great spell caster known as Dr.ODUDU he's the one of the great spell herbal doctor in Africa and he has the cure on this disease called GENITAL WARTS/ H.P.V TYPE 1 TYPE 2 TYPE 3 AND TYPE 4. TYPE 5, HUMAN PAPAILOMAVIRUS, , HERPES, SYPHILIS, CANCER, HEPATITIS A B and C. HIRE BLOOD PRESSURES, BODY DISEASE, DIABETICS, ENPILENCIN, GENPILENCIN, HIV AIDS, PREGNANCY, and many difference kinds of diseases, last month he share is Herbal medicine in some medical hospital and now he is well recognize as one of the best spell caster in Africa, you don't have to be sad any more or share your tears any more on this disease when the cure have already be found. in 2015 the total number of people living with GENITAL WARTS was 3.7 million but today the total number is now 1.9 million, if you want to get in touch with him in private contact him on this e-mail below: dr.oduduherbalhome@hotmail.com
dr.oduduherbalhome@gmail.com dr.oduduherbalhome@yahoo.com cell phone contact +2348101571054 his whatsapp contact is +2348137162683
Susan Malila 12th Sep 2016, 12:06 PM edit delete reply
I am Susan Malila from Dallas Texas, United States.i have been living in pains for the past 2 years now not until i meet Dr prince who was able to restore my life back with his herbal medicine, i have been HIV positive for the past two years now everyday of my life i cry to God as I was a mother of 2 cute kids who were looking up to me i was still taking my medication from the hospital which cost me a lot, I also did some prayers to God that he should do some miracle in my life,Few Months ago i was browsing on net when I found some good testimonials about Dr prince Herbs, and someone recommended that he has cured Hiv,diabetes,cancer,ulcer,and so many other disease I always had faith that God could use someone to heal me, then I contacted Dr prince and I told him my problems, he told me not to worry that with God all things are possible and also that he was going to prepare for me some herbal herbs which i am to take and he is going to send the medicine to me, well after all the guidance and medication from Dr prince he advice that i go for check up again to see my status result and he assured me of good result, i was afraid at this point cause i never wanted someone to tell me again that i am positive, after 2 days I went to the Hospital for check up and they said the result was to come out by Friday, at 11:00 AM on Friday the Doctor called me and told me that the result was out and I am Negative, I was shocked and could not believe it, I immediately called Dr prince and told him about the good news he told me to rejoice and make sure I share my testimony with my friends and that is why I am doing this right now, friends you can contact Dr prince today on ( dr.princearataabraham@gmail.com )or call him on +2348163241499.
Susan Malila 12th Sep 2016, 12:08 PM edit delete reply
I am Susan Malila from Dallas Texas, United States.i have been living in pains for the past 2 years now not until i meet Dr prince who was able to restore my life back with his herbal medicine, i have been HIV positive for the past two years now everyday of my life i cry to God as I was a mother of 2 cute kids who were looking up to me i was still taking my medication from the hospital which cost me a lot, I also did some prayers to God that he should do some miracle in my life,Few Months ago i was browsing on net when I found some good testimonials about Dr prince Herbs, and someone recommended that he has cured Hiv,diabetes,cancer,ulcer,and so many other disease I always had faith that God could use someone to heal me, then I contacted Dr prince and I told him my problems, he told me not to worry that with God all things are possible and also that he was going to prepare for me some herbal herbs which i am to take and he is going to send the medicine to me, well after all the guidance and medication from Dr prince he advice that i go for check up again to see my status result and he assured me of good result, i was afraid at this point cause i never wanted someone to tell me again that i am positive, after 2 days I went to the Hospital for check up and they said the result was to come out by Friday, at 11:00 AM on Friday the Doctor called me and told me that the result was out and I am Negative, I was shocked and could not believe it, I immediately called Dr prince and told him about the good news he told me to rejoice and make sure I share my testimony with my friends and that is why I am doing this right now, friends you can contact Dr prince today on ( dr.princearataabraham@gmail.com )or call him on +2348163241499.
Mr pasca 22nd Jan 2017, 6:41 AM edit delete reply
Hello my good people all over the world we are here again to bring you the good news all over the world we Illuminati !!!WELCOME TO ILLUMINATI!!! The Club of the Riches Power and Famous, is the world oldest and largest fraternity made up of Millions of Members. We are one Family under one father who is the Super master of powers LORD LUCIFER. In Illuminati we believe that we were born in paradise and no member should struggle in this world. Hence, all our new members are given Money for Rewards [10 million us] dollars and many other benefit as follows once they join us in order to upgrade their lifestyle. Interested viewers should contact us on. (illuminatiwealth6666@gmail.com] Are you frustrated in life. What type of wealth do you want, Are you a business man/woman or an ARTISTS,POLITICIANS, PASTOR,ENGINEER,DOCTOR, STUDENTS,GRADUATED Today is your luckiest day,Join Illuminati and become a multimillionaire,we have be given an order to recruit new members into the organization kingdom. Are you tired of poverty and now you want fame,power and riches .Our magical powers are beyond your imagination. we could do magic on your behalf regarding , your financial situation, future events,or whatever is important to you. we have the power and we use the power. we are Illuminati, and we could change the course of destiny. Get to us and we shall help you. Tell us what it is you want and we shall go about our work. Is it someone or something you desire to have? Do you want wealth(Want to grow your bank account?, Need funds to enjoy the good life or you want power to over comes anything ? Tired of working hard and getting nowhere?) or happiness? join the most powerful society welcomes you to Illuminati.. contact Illuminati initiation home Send us your most important desire and we shall work our powers in your favor. Be sure to tell Illuminati us what you want. If you are interested call the agent now [+2348115151940] or send your e-mail to {illuminatiwealth6666@gmail.com} for immediately initiation.New members registration is now open online or call them on this number {+2349030803982]whats-app via for immediately initiation.Our source of wealth and power is only reveal to registered members only.... WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOUR DESTINY IS IN YOUR HANDS