Page 404 - Fly Not Found

18th Feb 2014, 6:00 AM
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Fly Not Found
Average Rating: 5 (4 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 18th Feb 2014, 6:00 AM edit delete
Newbiespud
Much like Twilight, I initially thought this sequence would go much differently, with Twilight using her spells to make a laughingstock of this otherwise climactic sequence. So let this be a public service announcement: Regularly review your character sheets.

In other news, the fourth session of Fallout is Dragons up. It has a parody of So Many Wonders, a city of gold, and a boss fight against a giant dragon in it, so there's that.

77 Comments:

Kaleopolitus 18th Feb 2014, 6:16 AM edit delete reply
My party frequently believed they could do anything with enough rope and strength. That was until a single spike pit all but TPK'd them. I use 1d50's in my system, and they ALL rolled 1's. Yup...
Digo 18th Feb 2014, 7:59 AM edit delete reply
I nearly TPK'd my party with a knock-knock joke.
Jesin 18th Feb 2014, 8:47 AM edit delete reply
Alright, now you have to tell us how.
kriss1989 18th Feb 2014, 9:13 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
The joke couldn't have been that bad.
Digo 18th Feb 2014, 9:36 AM edit delete reply
Technically, no joke was made. :3

It was a trap door that had a giant door knocker and a sign that said to knock twice. You do so and the door's magic mouth responds with "Who's There?"

It was an obvious set up for the PCs to make a lame knock-knock joke, and indeed making such a joke would unlock the door. Failure to make the joke allowed the door's two "eyes" to strike you with ray spells.

Not one PC dared to make a knock-knock joke! D:

It didn't even have to be a good one. As long as there was an attempt at humor, the door would open. But no, they instead used brute force against the door, getting blasted with spells the entire time (eventually they disable both eyes, but by then all the PCs were down to single digit HP and the cleric was out of healing spells). They began damaging the door to force it open, but stopped because they didn't want to damage their weapons attacking a masterwork iron door (no one in the party had blunt weapons at the time and they were all 12th level).

They gave up and went another path. :(
And this is the same group that habitually makes jokes on anything. When I revealed how the door could easily be opened, they kicked themselves. Hard.
JackTheGreatOfPojo 21st Feb 2014, 10:01 AM edit delete reply
*knock knock* (door, in a sow, rolling voice) "Who's there" (me, casually) "Bob" "Bob who?" "Bob Barry Ian" *killed*
FanOfMostEverything 18th Feb 2014, 10:16 AM edit delete reply
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

...wait, that's not a knock-knock joke.
Kinrah 18th Feb 2014, 10:23 AM edit delete reply
Careful, that thing's lethal!
DM's Choice 19th Feb 2014, 2:50 AM edit delete reply
Where did you learn German? From an Indiana Jones film? :D
DeS_tructive 19th Feb 2014, 4:41 AM edit delete reply
I'd wager from Monty Python.
you know that guy 18th Feb 2014, 11:27 AM edit delete reply
Where the Sam Hill do you get d50s from?
you know that guy 18th Feb 2014, 11:28 AM edit delete reply
Oh and that reminds me, Newbiespud have you been to Stonehenge in the Gorge?
seanpony renaud 18th Feb 2014, 2:45 PM edit delete reply
Without knowing much about your system that's specifically why d50's aren't brought in. The range on them is too radical. If you need bigger numbers (or more precision) percentile die are better and if not d20 are fine.
Guest 18th Feb 2014, 6:27 AM edit delete reply
Nice touch on the chapter name. Almost missed it.
j-eagle12212012 18th Feb 2014, 7:09 AM edit delete reply
j-eagle12212012
I almost did too
Grey Pennies 18th Feb 2014, 11:30 AM edit delete reply
I saw it right away. Well played sir, well played.
darkwulf23 18th Feb 2014, 6:45 AM edit delete reply
darkwulf23
That's what I didn't like about 4e power. Too many restrictions. I mean what's the point in dimension door if you can only use it to cross a space that you could have walked there in the first place.
Godzfirefly 18th Feb 2014, 8:07 AM edit delete reply
To be fair, darkwulf, It's not dimension door that's the problem. That was used to get Spike across. She just couldn't use it twice in quick succession, and HOVER doesn't let you cross chasms. (Kinda like Marty McFly's hoverboard doesn't work on water.)
kriss1989 18th Feb 2014, 9:14 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
With Hover, you float six inches off the ground. The reason it doesn't work is that with casms six inches above the ground is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down there.
darkwulf23 18th Feb 2014, 12:20 PM edit delete reply
darkwulf23
Oh, you're right, it was hover. I thought dimension door was the one with the restriction.
Thar 18th Feb 2014, 1:07 PM edit delete reply
And I assume that falling will have you hit the six inches higher just as hard?
kriss1989 19th Feb 2014, 6:07 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
No, you'd actually hit harder because your kinetic force isn't dispersing into ground/water so more of it is applied to you.
Thar 19th Feb 2014, 5:37 PM edit delete reply
What if you jumped on a trampoline with it active? Would you bounce, or would you need to drop, bounce, then recast?
MWS 18th Feb 2014, 11:50 PM edit delete reply
And with hover, it's very good when playing The Floor Is Lava, or when the floor is lava.
sjosten 19th Feb 2014, 8:19 AM edit delete reply
Technically, the lava would be over the floor, so wouldn't hover just make you plunge into the lava, stopping six inches above the bottom of the volcano/lava-death-pit?
Zeeth 19th Feb 2014, 12:44 PM edit delete reply
Six inches over lava is still pretty damn hot. I'd have that mage making fire-resistance rolls for everything that isn't protected, including the character.
MWS 19th Feb 2014, 8:15 PM edit delete reply
I'd rule that lava counts as floor, since it is as dense as stone (you know, because it is stone). It would be fatal to get within six inches of lava without further protection, but I only intended lava as a metaphor for any reason why you would not want to come in contact with the floor (i.e. the floor is lava, the game). Oh well, not the first time the being witty part of my brain got the better of the making sense part.
kriss1989 19th Feb 2014, 3:44 PM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Hover is good for avoiding pressure plates, grease, ice, broken glass, caltrops, etc.
ANW 18th Feb 2014, 7:26 AM edit delete reply
Babs Seed and Celestia has made it on the list.
Now it is time for the Mane 6.
Who is your least favorite.
Me: Rainbow Dash.
referee 18th Feb 2014, 7:41 AM edit delete reply
Pinkie Pie. Especially when she's in hyper mode. (As opposed to, you know, slightly less hyper mode).
redwings1340 18th Feb 2014, 8:53 AM edit delete reply
redwings1340
Applejack. Still slightly more boring than the other mane 6. I'm glad she's in the show, and she's a great supporting role character, but as a main character, I just don't always care as much when its her episode.
kriss1989 18th Feb 2014, 9:12 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
AJ. She's kinda better as a up porting character than a main character. She's a great fully developed character, but that's the problem, she's fully developed. She's gotten wat she wants in life: friends, family, Sweet Apple Acres, and that's it. She's achieved her life's goals already. She has nowhere to go and no big dreams to go for, so the only stories that she can do are about things that threaten what she's achieved, and as human beings that's a very unsatisfying narrative. "The threat was defeated and everything went back to just how it was with nothing changing at all. Not even for the better."
FanOfMostEverything 18th Feb 2014, 10:18 AM edit delete reply
It's a tossup between Twilight and Pinkie, since my personality lies somewhere between the two. Plus, I've always had a soft spot for the "smart one" and the comic relief.
kriss1989 18th Feb 2014, 10:58 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
No, Fan, least favorite. Least! Also, big fan of your Friendship is Magic the Gathering cards. Love the song mechanics!
Tatsurou 18th Feb 2014, 12:51 PM edit delete reply
Tatsurou
Rarity. She's the only one I can never identify with.
Specter 18th Feb 2014, 6:40 PM edit delete reply
Might as well say it... RAINBOW DASH.
Doctor Sweet 18th Feb 2014, 7:26 PM edit delete reply
Fluttershy.
Subspace_Lani 19th Feb 2014, 12:10 AM edit delete reply
Definitely Applejack. She's a sweetheart, but...
Nox 19th Feb 2014, 1:09 AM edit delete reply
Pinkie. Never really been able to like her. Pinkie Pride is the only episode of Pinkie's I've actually enjoyed

then its Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity, from least favorite to most favorite.

I do have to say that while Rainbow Dash isn't my favorite pony as far as the show is concerned, I really love her look, and have lots of Rainbow Dash stuff :D
sjosten 19th Feb 2014, 8:21 AM edit delete reply
Fluttershy. Not because I have anything against Fluttershy, I just love the rest of the Mane Six, and Fluttershy is (by definition) too quiet on the sidelines for me to get much of an opinion on her.
JellyJuice 19th Feb 2014, 5:18 PM edit delete reply
Pinkie Pie. not because I think something's wrong, it's just...... fan fics bro, fan fics
redwings1340 19th Feb 2014, 6:33 PM edit delete reply
redwings1340
Aside from a few select fanfics (cough, cupcakes, cough), Pinkie Pie is definitely my favorite fanfic character. When authors can pull her off well, she is so much fun to read.
Anon 18th Feb 2014, 7:44 AM edit delete reply
Yes, always review your character sheet. You'd be surprised what you've missed sometimes.

GURPS Space campaign, one that eventually had us going up against the XCOM baddies. After some minor misadventures, our freighter's crew arrive at their destination to find it under siege. Our pilot and a couple of ground pounders take a shuttle down for... something, I can't remember anymore, and the pilot shows off by flying nap-of-the-earth (i.e. about 10 feet off the ground) at very high speed.

And then fails his Piloting roll.

GM's ruling was that he managed to hit the one tree on the plains he was flying over and augurs the shuttle in. The crew survive, leading to a remark that would echo through several other games: "Well, any one you can walk away from...". This little disaster was becoming something of a habit; despite being billed as such a hot-shot pilot, he'd regularly fumbled skill rolls throughout the campaign. As they're recovering, the player looks up from his sheet and goes, "That's funny, I think I've still got like 50 points unassigned.". The resulting glares were almost enough to set the character sheet (and player) ablaze.
celestdaer 18th Feb 2014, 8:22 AM edit delete reply
The medieval Japan campaign where I played a pyrokinetic kitsune, the group got on a boat, travelled down river, the boat got attacked by pirates, and my kitsune's down in the hold, hiding, because her powers were going wonky and she couldn't hide her true form, but, the crew set up a whole broadside of cannonery, and she snapped her fingers to light them all at once... rocks the ship to one side, and when it comes back up, she has a bullet in her shoulder, ostensibly from the pirates, but no one knows for sure, so she takes enough damage to break her shock value. So, flat out, no more kitsune, for about three rounds, when I suddenly go: Hell, I had a telekinetic shield that would've saved me, and is supposed to constantly active... the GM says, "Okay, well, get back up, then, you're fine."
Digo 18th Feb 2014, 8:07 AM edit delete reply
GURPS Supers campaign. One thing I often forgot to track when I played as The Great and Powerful Trixie was fatigue points spent casting spells. Thus, I'd often spam magic attacks against my enemies and distroy them.

...and then promptly pass out from exhaustion and get left in the party van to nap for an hour.


D&D Campaign: The party needed to bail from a high castle tower. My wizard told everyone to hang on to him and he'll Feather Fall us out. Unfortunately it wasn't until we all jumped and I casted the spell that the DM asked me what the weight limit of my spell was.

Uh oh.
kriss1989 18th Feb 2014, 9:07 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Sounds like my Dragon Age Mage. He recently celebrated NOT passing out after a major boss fight.
Digo 18th Feb 2014, 9:37 AM edit delete reply
I kicked one of the other PCs when he shouted "Hey, you finally finished a fight without passing out!" XD
kriss1989 18th Feb 2014, 10:59 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Lol my Mage would have probably done the same if he'dhad it pointed out to him.
Raxon 18th Feb 2014, 3:14 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
On the subject of mages passing out, I actually have a Raxon story. Hehehe.

Long before he was a legendary, epic level multiclass, he was just a young wizard. A wizard with tons and tons of mana, but not the stamina to use it all. Then he borrowed a healing mage's spellbook and copied down one of the spells. It was called healing storm. Raxon had to make a bargain with a lawful good higher power to use it. He had to agree never to use it for evil. Basically, it is an epic mass cure wounds that affects everyone and everything within five kilometers. Granted, the white wall of healing only moves at something like twenty miles per hour. It is such a powerful spell, it takes a set percentage of his mana to cast, rather than a set amount, like most other spells.

Needless to say, thirty percent of that much mana means instant collapse.

On the other hand, the healing wave keeps going until it reaches that distance from him. Raxon casts, and someone grabs him, pulls him on a horse, and rides after it, which means you can basically cover the entire earth in one go, theoretically.

Loophole abuse for the win! Casting spells you should not have access to for at least fifty years is not fun.

On the other hand, it did form the basis for his ungodly stamina levels. Stamina enough to sprint across America, stopping only to sleep, and eating on the run.

Then again, I have it ruled that casting spells requires physical and mental effort, so high level spellcasters may be physically weak, but they have at least above average stamina, and much greater concentration.

That said, casting too high above your level can actually exhaust you to death.

Also, even if you have enough stamina, there's something of a thermal buildup. Too many spells too quickly can burn a person. At one point, Raxon sacrifices his right arm because he's burning through magic so fast.

Maybe I made spellcasters too hardcore.
Digo 19th Feb 2014, 5:53 AM edit delete reply
The Healing Storm is not a hardcore thing. The horse you'd need to ride around the world would be. ;)
Raxon 19th Feb 2014, 12:20 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
The healing storm(later called healing wave) itself is not hardcore. The fact that it takes a percentage of his total spell points is that makes it a costly spell. Also, the hardcore part is that even though Raxon is a squishy wizard, due to his many years of spellcasting, his enery is nigh inexhaustible. He has superhuman endurance as a result. He can sprint a marathon. He may not be able to run a three minute mile, but he can do a fifteen mph sprint for the whole 100k marathon. On top of that, he doesn't technically sleep, either. Sleep is wasteful, so he meditates to rest.

The fact my spellcaster is over olympic level in any physical way is why I say I might have made them too hardcore. Admittedly, Raxon is a special case, being several centuries old and having spent the bulk of that training intensely in solitude with nothing to distract him... Wait. Ummm...

Objection withdrawn. I guess that is reasonable, after all.

Raxon can cast the healing wave three times and have a little bit left over. Casting past his limit uses his body as fuel. Too bad healing wave doesn't heal mana burn.

I would say that he's badass enough now to cast the healing wave and just run after it, but he's just not fast enough for that. They would, naturally, need a system of horses, but horses can run at 40mph, plenty of speed to keep up with the wave. He would need a fresh house every so often, but yeah, we are talking about a massive gamebreaker here. Especially if that setting had undead. It would literally be the equivalent of a nuke that only hits undead.

Against things like Atropal, where you go onto the undead world, and it is inhabited by the evil undead, this and some method of rapid transportation would make short work of the module. We could finish what is supposed to be at least a five session campain in two sessions, tops.
DracoS 20th Feb 2014, 1:12 AM edit delete reply
That Healing Wave reminds me of a character from a DS RPG called Super Robot Taisen: Original Generation. One of the starting spells of one of the characters you get early in the game heals 100% damage for all your characters for a fair amount of MP. However, this game A) lets you use items AND attack or use a spell in the same turn and B) gives you an item that boosts a character's MP hardcore if you have a particular GBA game in your DS when you load your file.

And since there's rarely any time this character isn't available to you, there's no reason to not have her in the party and give you tons of OP healing.
sjosten 19th Feb 2014, 8:26 AM edit delete reply
The only time my mage was legitimately in danger of passing out was when I had to burn down a tree. Not just any tree, one of those fifty foot tall trees. Stupid vision quest, making me sit out the fight with a bear in a forest fire.
Emmerlaus 18th Feb 2014, 8:13 AM edit delete reply
Here's the song I created for roleplay, I spoken about this in last chapter. Im posting it here because I was very late in posting it, which mean probably nobody didn't see it:

As autumn reaches its final day, the coming of winter is well on its way.

When, at last, the harvest does end… The mighty Frost Dragon shall descend.

Though its rage is a desolating frost, our prayers for mercy assure that hope is not lost.

When fire and heat can’t keep the cold at bay, the thoughts of our loved ones will chase the chill away...

United, no force will tear us apart, and soon the Frost Dragon, will gladly depart.

(music solo)

And that's why we sing together, until the weather get better...

It will keep us warm until it’s Spring

It will keep us warm until it’s FINALLY Spring.
Specter 18th Feb 2014, 8:35 AM edit delete reply
That's nice. I approve.
Emmerlaus 18th Feb 2014, 9:40 AM edit delete reply
As for reviewing your character sheet, it's even more important when you play a character you didn't play for a while. You could be surprised... :P

I remember buying off a Elixir of Love (a love potion, making a person fall in love with you) in character creation and completly forgot about it.

There was a Arcane Hierophant, a Divine Trickster (me, mix of cleric and rogue), a Frenzy Berserker and ... a modified Soulblade I think (friend of GM).

We wanted to kidnap a noble daughter to blackmail her father in doing a favor for us. We had a chance to get her on the road while she was moving out of her father place to her new husband place.

Our plan was to send the Frenzy Berserker and Arcane Hierophant pet against the guards, we "save" the woman from the Frenzy Berserker and I given my last potion to the Soul Blade, to heal her and speak to her while I use the Disguise skill on the Berserker, to make him look dead (And making me look like I cast that spell that makes the dead corpses answer questions). Yeah, we were a bit away from her and my back turned from them.

Looking at my character sheet, I realize I didnt have a healing potion left... and realized its my Elixir of love.

So now, we had a wounded princess in love with our Soulblade (her hero LOL) and the GM decided my character didn't notice the mix-up. And the GM decided to make the Princess ask for her hero to give her a child, as she wanted her first time to be "special" O_o

And because the group was full of perverts, the Soulblade put a piece of cloth of her eyes... and let the Frenzy Berserker (who she thought was dead), have her... Why? "Because this way she have no way to know who would be the REAL father of her child, if she have one from this." (and also because he was indebted to the berserker, who had charisma and physical appeal of a donkey)

I argued with the GM afterward. We debated about sexual perversion not being "evil" by itself and all. One of the best discussion I had with the guy.
Specter 18th Feb 2014, 8:40 AM edit delete reply
This is pretty much what happens in ANY game I play with ANY of my siblings. None of them seem to notice/remember two things: 1) The mini-map, 2) Their class/super/special/any kind of abilities and powers that would literally have saved my life. Don't get me wrong, I do think they are great allies, but they don't seem to remember that I'm the only player who spams the "Save allie" power. As my little brother would say, "In the words of Derby, "I just don't know what went wrong."." (Face-hoof)
Digo 18th Feb 2014, 9:40 AM edit delete reply
I laugh whenever one of my players fails to remember that have an item/ability that would have prevented major damage. 99% of the time it's an item they custom made to prevent such damage and then forget they were wearing it (these items require activation on the user's part to make it work).
terrycloth 18th Feb 2014, 11:48 AM edit delete reply
Once a player forgot he had a ring of featherfall until the session after he fell to his death, killing another party member as well thanks to a life link, and we'd resurrected them both at EXTREME EXPENSE.

The GM was not willing to retcon that far back. x.x Instead he said the ring must have been cursed.
Raxon 18th Feb 2014, 2:38 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Once upon a time, the DM forgot that my street sam filched Excalibur when Harlequin banished us to the past. The rest of the party decided that I was now king of the britrolls, and they made a cybercrown for me. Basically, my troll street sam sorta became the party face, because the party would not stop bragging that they're so so awesome, the king of all trolls is just one of their dudes.

Propaganda works in many ways.
Specter 18th Feb 2014, 6:42 PM edit delete reply
Yes Raxon, yes it does.
Raxon 18th Feb 2014, 6:59 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
You know me, though.

My troll decided that magic swords sing. So naturally, the sword became my troll's imaginary friend, and he made it talk through vventriloquism and a falsetto voice.

And then the sword was Dolly Parton, and it sang early and often. Because a troll street sam with excalibur crowned king of the britrolls wasn't enough. His magical sword had to be Dolly Parton, because of course it was. It was hilarious to have the sword say, "Listen, sugah, I'm over a thousand years old. Do you know how much work I've had done to still look this good?"

At one point, I tried to seduce a lady. She turned out to be a lesbian. My troll king proceeded to say, "I know what will change your mind." And he drew his sword. And then spent fifteen minutes trying to convince SWORD!Dolly Parton to seduce the lady in his place. In front of the lady.

We did not get the job.
Digo 19th Feb 2014, 5:59 AM edit delete reply
I once gave my party the Excalipoor. Looks just like the Excalibur, but it will alsways do exactly 1 point of damage, regardless of the weilder's skill and strength.

On the other hand, I purposely left in the loop hole that it "always does exactly 1 point of damage." Which means that even against epic-level monsters with neigh-vulnerability, it will damage them. for one point.

The minimum needed to deliver, say... a contact poison. ;)

Sadly they tossed away the sword by the time they figured out that use.
Specter 19th Feb 2014, 8:36 AM edit delete reply
Raxon, too bad it didn't work, cause that would be an interesting tale to quote.

Digo, ... I have no idea what to say for your party. If you mentioned it ALWAYS hit, even for one damage, I or one of my siblings would start using it for random purposes (like poison, epic battles, or just to tick eachother off.)
Raxon 19th Feb 2014, 4:43 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Dude, do you have any idea how useful a sword that always hits and does one damage would be? Do you have any idea how many parking meters I could steal for my collection with that!?
Specter 19th Feb 2014, 5:14 PM edit delete reply
I think you go with pranks and minor crimes/public destruction.

We think on the terrorist scale basically. For example) Older brother: Light houses on fire and cause minimal construction damage. Little brother: Slay the fabric of reality (He's siting right next to me.) Me: Contest all people to a non-lethal hitting contest. Loser misses first.
Raxon 19th Feb 2014, 7:40 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
When I play characters like that, I go all out. I will trick a small girl into murdering her family and tell her that her family died because she didn't love them enough to save them.

Naturally, I would then take the little girl in, and raise her to be the perfect bride. Then I would marry her, and gain access to her family fortune, and all the political power that comes of it.

And that's just a baseline scenario.

No. Collecting parking meters and fire hydrants would be a fun off time hobby. For real horrible stuff, I will go into the woods, cut a bunch of owlbears and things, and kite them all the way back into the peaceful little village. I could piss off a goblin king by scratching him with the sword, then pin the blame on a large, fortified city so that while all the guards are distracted with the siege, I can rob everyone blind, and kill anyone who gets in my way! I might filch a couple lovely young ladies, and maybe a beautiful princess, and pin it on the goblins by killing a few other women, some male goblins, and calling the city guard, telling them I caught some goblins murdering and kidnapping women.

I would secretly run the city by the time the siege had ended.
MWS 19th Feb 2014, 8:25 PM edit delete reply
I was involved in a discussion some time ago about hypothetical enchantments to make a weapon cause more or less pain than the injury would normally cause. We were rather disturbed that we found more sinister uses for less pain (like disguising the severity of a wound so that treatment isn't sought), and more benevolent uses for the more pain version (training weapons that give a fighter a real taste of the risks of combat).
Raxon 19th Feb 2014, 10:10 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Raxon actually has two weapons like that. Brinebane, and gentlemangle.

Brinebane is a foot and a half long sword with with an angular design, like a cross between a stealth bomber and a kukri, and an edge made of alcohol bonded salt. As you can imagine, even a minor wound is excruciating.

Gentlemangle is a small 4 cm (1 1/2") blade on the end of a foot long baton. Any wound inflicted with it is totally painless. You can easily kill a person with this, and they would never know it. It is kept in a locked case in his armory, because it is extraordinarily dangerous to friend and foe alike. Most weapons in the armory are on racks, readily available. Very few are locked away in there, since the armory is only accessible to authorized people as it is. To make it worse, you can separate it into an old fashioned metal scalpel with a slightly longer blade, and an ordinary police baton. Scary thing.
Specter 19th Feb 2014, 10:41 PM edit delete reply
Raxon, I have the thought process in my head that you might somehow be related to a number of kids at my school, or even Discord. (although, probably, you're more Chaotic than that.)

Best weapon I have ever seen was, and I quote, "Sheldon". possessed weapon that has a base of 25 int. and every time you crit, it goes up by 1 permanently, and you go down by 1 for a month.
Raxon 19th Feb 2014, 11:33 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
It's actually nothing like that. See, I think in Bat Deduction when I need crazy. It's not random enough to be pointless, but it is generally things related in a way like that.

For example:

ME: Hmmm, this fruit basket seems odd. What's in it?

DM: Well, there are apples, oranges, lemons, and bananas. You also see a matchbook for a hotel just outside the city called arrow Lane Bed and Breakfast.

ME: Apples, oranges, lemons, and bananas. Are there any cabbages or carrots, things like that?

DM: No, just those fruit, and the very suspicious matchbook.

ME: Hmmm, all fruits, they all grow on leafy trees. Wait! Apples, oranges, lemons, and bananas, you say?

GM: *rubbing his temples* Yes.

ME: A O L B. Air oh. Arrow Lane Bed and breakfast! And they're all leafy tree born fruit! Leaf, leaves, leaving! The criminals are skipping town! We have to catch them!


Playing an incompetent who is always right despite using broken logic like that is so much fun. I have a special space in my head just for these kinds of things. Also, being able to move three degrees of separation from something allows me to fly a blatant ripoff character under everybody's radar rather easily.
Raxon 18th Feb 2014, 12:59 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
"Long ago, in a distant land, I, Jet Rinne, acid breathing dragon of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But, a foolish samurai warrior, wielding a magic sword, set forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal to Eshebezal, where my evil is law. Now the fool seeks to return to the material plane, and undo the evil that is Jet Rinne!"

I had peeked at the DM's campaign notes and built my samurai around it. Customized the class to make it viable, by adding more skills, including evasion and greater evasion, and things like cleave and great cleave. I also argued-and won- that since I'm vastly underpowered, I need to contribute somehow. Thus, I got tons of extra skill points, many of which went into crafting and peaceful things. I even had an unbreakable +5 sword that gave me access to smite evil.

If you're wondering how or why nobody caught me pulling this, my samurai was a Drow simply called daddy, or the drow equivalent, which was so hard to pronounce they gave up on it and just called him daddy. Daddy spoke jive.

So naturally, when someone in the dragon's realm asked me my name, I said, "They call me... Mack."

You heard that right. A jive talking Samurai Jack.

Needless to say, he died soon because that DM hates Genndy Tartakovsky and everything he ever made.

Philistine.
Digo 18th Feb 2014, 1:39 PM edit delete reply
Well, you did also look at his notes. That can invite bad karma. :)
Raxon 18th Feb 2014, 3:24 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
He was basically doing the plot of Samurai Jack, except with a forced plane shift to a plane in the astral sea, instead of the bad future. How could I not make a samurai? On top of that, he was basically the love child of Samurai Jack and John T. Shaft.

What's not to love about a loose cannon paladin on the edge? That's how I played him. This particular DM only found out when I read the quote above at the second session and googled it. Rocks fall, everyone dies.
Curb 19th Feb 2014, 9:15 AM edit delete reply
Reviewing Character Sheets!! Always important...ALWAYS!!

Or you'll end up like a guy in my old D&D Group. His character kept getting stronger faster than he should have, being a spell caster(can't remember type) with a 'rotary wand system'. Yes, he had a bracer that he could rotate that had multiple wands mounted on it, GM allowed it. Anywho...one day, he pulled off some stuff that he shouldn't have been able to and the GM announced a character audit of everyone's sheets, just to be safe. My fighter turned out okay, even though everyone ribbed me for using a scythe, love that trip ability. But our heavy hitting magic user, he got reamed for having stuff that he hadn't found during any session or bought when we were in any of the towns or cities, he had been giving himself cherry gear on the side. Got him a edited character and a three week group ban. Before I left the group, he was up for a one month ban for doing it again...some idiots never learn.

Oh, and my scythe, and all my blades for that matter, where silver, I knew the GM well enough to be prepared for the undead...he soo loved his vampires.
Raxon 19th Feb 2014, 4:50 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
That is exactly the reason why all my warriors have damascus weapons. Damascus steel is made by taking two steels and folding them over each other a few hundred times.

My silver/adamantine daggers might be pricy, but they are awesome! Also, I can bloody demonstrate that damascus is a viable material by A: showing them something called plywood, and B: taking aluminum foil and plastic wrap, and folding them over each other. Each materian has properties the other lacks. This results in a stronger structure.

Also, I almost always buy several gold worth of assorted small bags and sacks. "Oh, hey! I got this, guys! I'll just use these stones as weights to tie the twine to in order to check for traps!" "Let me see that character sheet! Where did you get five pounds of two ounce smooth stone?" "They're river rocks. We camped at the river, remember? It just seemed like a useful thing to grab."

I add inventory to my character sheets, but they basically amount to things I pick up that I think will be useful. Rocks, sticks, pinecones, bones, sand, and with some twine, rope, and enginuity, you can solve lots of otherwise complicated problems.

Rangers are a force to be reckoned with when used well.
Curb 22nd Feb 2014, 10:56 AM edit delete reply
Nice, have to look into some custom weapons for my female gnome warrior in Pathfinder.