Page 383 - Epic Maneuver

31st Dec 2013, 6:00 AM
Epic Maneuver
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 31st Dec 2013, 6:00 AM edit delete
Happy New Year's... Eve!

Quite a busy year, 2013. 2014's got some big shoes to fill.

But regardless of what year it is, I'll be over here in my little corner of the internet, working on my little projects.

Not that I'd have it any other way, mind.


Venellian 31st Dec 2013, 6:20 AM edit delete reply
Story time! Ever have something that the DM just lets you get away with?
Raxon 31st Dec 2013, 7:01 AM edit delete reply
Yes, actually. A young ranger named Vyryl Ch'qmegn't. A birthright when he turned 18. One year in game time later, he inherits the family goods. Ioun stones, 2,500,000 gold, and a nice big house.

Not bad for level six, huh? I never would have been allowed to actually have the stuff that was mentioned in my backstory specifically, and the DM just didn't bring it up if they even suspected I would use the money responsibly.

Hell no. I sank it all into a special bag of holding that allows the contents to just go into stasis, resulting in the ability to store living creatures. In go two dozen prostitutes of various races and genders and a hundred thousand liters of 95%.

Not gonna lie. Character was totally useless after that, but he was generous with his 'fortune' and he was looked upon with favor by all.
Seanpony Renaud 31st Dec 2013, 9:58 AM edit delete reply
Ask Raxon needs to be an official part of this comic. I mean seriously half the time I show up and the comic is awesome and then Raxon just makes it better.
Norakos 31st Dec 2013, 5:32 PM edit delete reply
I second this.
Disloyal Subject 31st Dec 2013, 9:41 AM edit delete reply
Does the DM refusing to let the barbarian - out of game, her daughter - roll a Fort save to get drunk off the swill the tavern was passing off as ale count?
aylatrigger 31st Dec 2013, 1:52 PM edit delete reply
As a DM/GM I let my players get away with a lot... I basically try not to say no for most things, just 'at a higher level','rewrite so it fits with the rules, world and/or story', or 'you can instead do this'.

...I mostly GM for Loonies, so this makes it more interesting. Some examples:
With really stupid characters (3 int or lower), some actually bend reality with how stupid they are. This has produced things such as propelling flatulence for Int 3 characters, and for an Int 1 NPC: duplication by faulty math and space warping (one duplicate even merged with Miskatonic University).
I have allowed kittens from Wild Magic gone wrong to destroy towns (they are full of Commoners...)
I have heartily encouraged a player to break the sound barrier and create 'Sonic Peppermint Booms' by stacking speed from various sources, slowing down time, AND stopping time.
I have allowed one character to have a BAC that makes him 400 Proof.
I usually encourage munchkining within limits, and just munchkin enemies in the same way or have the more powerful draw Agro. This lets to some interesting combos... My favorite is 'Flesh to Stone', 'Rock to Mud', 'Prestidigitation'. Even though it is not one of the more powerful spells it does wipe out an enemy from the face of the earth using a cantrip.
Bombom13 1st Jan 2014, 7:34 PM edit delete reply
My cantrips are some of my deadliest spells, just be cause I have a knack for using them to collapse stuff. Seriously, I use them practically every encounter. Check that, literally every encounter.
Bombom13 1st Jan 2014, 7:34 PM edit delete reply
My cantrips are some of my deadliest spells, just be cause I have a knack for using them to collapse stuff. Seriously, I use them practically every encounter. Check that, literally every encounter.
Norakos 31st Dec 2013, 5:31 PM edit delete reply
It was a V:TM game, set in the dark ages. Through use of a good backstory and some fancy language, I managed to get a Gangrel out of the box who could work a forge and smith without having to make a Rotschreck. Plus, we had essentially any weapon we would ever need.
Venellian 1st Jan 2014, 12:59 AM edit delete reply
There are two, actually. I haven't pulled them off yet, but the time shall come.

One is where I'm playing a character with a high Fort Save and I stare down a Medusa or the like (paralyzing stares like the medusa have go against Fort)

The other is much more awesome. I play a succubus without the other players knowing it (and I was doing that), and then we fight against a vampire. My character drinks a ton of poisons so that her blood system is just filled with toxins (like alcohol). Succubi are immune to poisons. Then I just taunt the vampire into biting me, and killing it. A moment of awesome indeed.
CrowMagnon 1st Jan 2014, 8:22 AM edit delete reply
During our Carrion Crown campaign, my group was fighting the Splatter Man, the ghost of a serial-killer wizard who was the last of five ghosts that needed to be defeated to save the nearby town.

We were all level 3 at the time, and we knew from having found his old spellbook that Splatty had a suped-up Magic Missile spell, so Chekyl, my tengu Alchemist, made sure to brew up some Shield potions before the battle.

As it turns out, Splatty also had one use of Dispel Magic at his disposal, so when Chekyl taunted him by defacing the spellbook with Splatty's true name (Splatty had been known to write the true name of his victims in blood before killing them) I ended up losing my Shield effect, and in serious danger of Chekyl getting one-shotted.

Needless to say, Chekyl high-tailed it out of line-of-sight, but Splatty still had to be defeated before the rest of the group lost their Shield potion effects. Meanwhile, Splatty was summoning minions to between himself and our gunslinger, our witch, and the sheriff of the nearby town who was there as an NPC ally.

Sir Ahsum, our paladin (yes, that was his name) kept going after Splatty, but wasn't having much luck with his attack rolls. I wanted Chekyl to help, but didn't want him to die, so I conferred with the DM about an idea I had.

Chekyl left the room and came back out into the hallway, right in Splatty's line-of-sight. But not before taking a swig of a Cure potion, holding it in his beak without swallowing it. Seeing Chekyl exposed, Splatty shot off his suped-up Magic Missile, knocking him down to zero HP, but Chekyl had saved an action so he was able to swallow the potion held in his beak and recover.

The DM made it clear that this was a very non-standard maneuver, and that it was pretty much a one-time deal, but since I'd gone over it with him beforehand, he allowed it. In the end, Sir Ahsum pummeled the Splatter Man to the point where Splatty phased himself into a locked room in a desperate attempt to summon enough minions to save himself, but the others managed to pry the door open and Chekyl finished off his last remaining hit point by lobbing a vial of Holy Water into the room.
Bombom13 1st Jan 2014, 7:31 PM edit delete reply
Well, my group of three, level one players who had never played before were presented with a bit of a nasty surprise from our DM. The boss of the first dungeon we had ever entered turned out to be a level 15 clay golem. The room was a big platform with a river flowing on three side, and the door on the fourth wall. there was a chest on the far edge of the platform from the door. This was the first chest we had seen, so the rogue ran around the monster to the chest, leaving the warrior and my wizard to deal with it. We decided the only way we had any chance of survival was to push the thing into the water. So we used me a bait while the warrior ran around behind it. It dropped me in one hit, before he had time to line up the charge. Thankfully the rogue finally came around, and decided to help, so they both rammed it, and it fell in. We ended up skipping level 2 all together. The next encounter we had was trying to get away from a level 15 blue dragon, who stole a lot of the stuff we had gotten out of that chest. I think the DM either wanted to kill us, or just thought the lower level monsters were less interesting.

Another time he let us get away with distraction a three headed dragon with bluffs while we looted better weapons from his hoard. Then we tricked it into standing under various roof sections of a castle and then caving it in on him. Then when he grew wise to that, we collapsed the floor out from under him. Granted, my wizard was standing right next to him...maybe I should have thought through collapsing the roof. Especially since the other two players were under us....come to think of it, that was a terrible idea. Still, the DM let us all survive, mostly, and it killed the dragon.
Raxon 31st Dec 2013, 6:24 AM edit delete reply

She wore a blazing saddle
And a golden shining star.
Her job to offer battle
To bad mares near and far.

She conquered fear and she conquered hate.
She turned our night into day.
She made her blazing saddle
A torch to light the way.

When outlaws rule the West
And fear fills the land
A cry went up for a mare with guts
To take the West in hand.

They needed a mare who was brave and true
With justice for all as her aim.
Then to fill us with hope ran a mare with a rope
And Applejack was her name, yes, Applejack was her name.
FanOfMostEverything 31st Dec 2013, 6:51 AM edit delete reply
I didn't hear that stallion harrumph.
kriss1989 31st Dec 2013, 8:49 AM edit delete reply
ANW 31st Dec 2013, 6:39 AM edit delete reply
Well it's the end of the year,
So I got something different in mind.
Ask Time:
Basically, you guys/gals are going to ask questions to one pony. Now you ask about their MLP or their FID form (please tell which one). I'll need your help though.
After every question, someone else needs to answer it in a the way they would.
Today will be Twilight.
Please no season 4 questions.
Yes you can still ask about her wings.
Draxynnic 31st Dec 2013, 6:52 AM edit delete reply
Well, let's see...

Something Twilight might know, but ANW might not: Have there ever been any male alicorns?
ANW 31st Dec 2013, 9:22 AM edit delete reply
That's a good question.
I'd asked Celestia that question once.
And as it turned out their was.
Her and Luna's Farther was named Midnight Flare. He and their mother, Sun Beam, was the one that help the 3 pony tribes settled down.
However, they're not around anymore.
When Discord took over, the first thing he did was to get rid of them. Even alicorns can't stop death, they just live a lot longer then us.
So I hoped that answers your question.
I got plenty more to talk about, so send them in.
TS: That is not what I said.
ANW: I don't have time to type all what you said, and they don't have time to read though it all, much less understand it. I'd had to shorten it.
TS: One day I'd tell you guys to whole story.
Disloyal Subject 31st Dec 2013, 9:37 AM edit delete reply
To Her Estimable Highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle:
How the heck do gemstones form as perfect crystals in the soil?!? Does the background magic field over Equestria serve as a fluid to allow chemical precipitation?? It's been bugging me, so I'd much appreciate a throughly researched response - for which reason, I ask you. Please respond at your earliest convenience; I imagine the business of ascension to royalty must keep you quite busy.
With appreciation and encouragement,
Colin Smith, human undergraduate student of paleontoology
P.S. Could you please also explain how magic functions in Equestria? For instance, is it typically channeled from within, or without? Do you have any books on the theory and/or pracice of spellcraft that you'd reccomend for a novice?
P.P.S. Sorry about all that glorification in the introduction; I couldn't help myself once I pictured your discomfort at it. I apolgize sincerely, but cannot seem to stop giggling.
P.P.P.S. Have you written any theses or books on magic yourself? Aside from friendship reports, I mean. I'd be interested to read your dissertations on the subject; we long-winded students have to stick together! Perhaps you could write a few comprehensive spellbooks for different situations - one for cooking, another for combat, et cetera.
P.P.P.P.S. Do you know of anything Applejack might want, that is physically possibke to giftwrap? The solstice may have come and gone, but when's her birthday?
P.P.P.P.P.S. I ask a great deal of you. Is there anything I can do for you? My skills include armed and unarmed melee combat, basic algebra, small arms, stealth for shadowing or in/exfiltration, and cheerful charisma. Oh, and sorry for all the postscripts.
Tinker 2nd Jan 2014, 4:31 PM edit delete reply
Dear Disloyal Subject,
While your name gives me pause, it would be rude to keep information from somepony else. Crystals grow in the soil naturally over time in the crystal empire. It is due to the unique gem-rich makeup of the soil combined with the magic-field created by the crystal heart. As you may know, the crystal palace is actually only four solid pieces melded together by crystal magic. Otherwise, a crystal can be grown outside of it's natural environment, but it would require a crystal pony or very powerful unicorn to do so. You see, crystal ponies, much like earth ponies, have a unique attunement to the land. That's why you rarely see a unicorn or pegasus farmer; the earth-ponies can feel the soil and know what to do to grow crops. Crystal ponies aren't nearly as good as earth ponies when it comes to crops, but I would say with confidence that earth ponies are to plant matter as crystal ponies are to crystals.
Tinker 2nd Jan 2014, 4:32 PM edit delete reply
P.S. That's a very broad question. One i'd be happy to go into in extensive detail. The most important thing to know is the different schools of magic. Now, I can't tell you for sure what all the schools are since there are so many, but I will say there are many. Light, Darkness, Friendship, Love, Nature, Chaos, and Hatred to name a few. Each one has different rules that must be obeyed, so it would be near-impossible to learn them all. Luckily, I have read many books on every type of magic. Now remember, most unicorns can only use a few spells on their own; light and mage-hand. Really mostly utility magic. The grand majority of us don't learn more past that unless our cutie-mark is directly related to that type of magic. As a new-alicorn, with the official title of 'The Princess of Magic' no less, Celestia has ensured me that I will eventually be able to learn every type, but has urged me not to let my studies on the magic of friendship dwindle, as it is one of the more powerful types of magic. So, let's begin the lesson on my studies:
Tinker 2nd Jan 2014, 4:33 PM edit delete reply
Light Magic is the first type of magic I learned. I assumed my cutie mark being a magic spark naturally pointed to light, so that's where I went first. Celestia is the expert on this subject, using it in it's most powerful form to move the Sun. Light magic is the most common type of magic in Equestria, lending it's power to levitation, teleportation, and light. It is an arcane science and as such requires the student to study for hours in order to fully realize it's power. Since it's a studied skill, not using it can cause the user to become hazy which may result in a spell failure, while using it causes the user to input their own energy, which can tire most untrained ponies out. As a basic rule, if it requires the focus of a unicorn horn, takes study, and produces or alters light or energy, you may assume it is light magic.
Tinker 2nd Jan 2014, 4:33 PM edit delete reply
Next on our list is dark magic. Now, I haven't learned much myself, but I can assure you, dark does NOT mean evil. Princess Luna is Equestria's top dark magic user, and as such brings the night and moon. Now, dark magic is not learned, it is granted. You must make a contract with the night (which I have not been informed on how to do,) and the night will lend you it's power. The contract has very much to do with respect, so rather than channeling the power of darkness, you need to ask for it instead. The nightmare moon debacle was caused by Princess Luna attempting to control the night and making the moon rise at the wrong time. Had she used a form of light magic instead of dark magic, she wouldn't have turned into nightmare moon, but she would only be raising the moon, the night itself would not simply follow it. Dark magic has a much higher maximum level of power than light magic, but it would be impossible to harness it all. Using more than your share may result in nightmare forces attempting to possess you, which can yield disastrous results.
Tinker 2nd Jan 2014, 4:34 PM edit delete reply
The next important magic is now my personal favorite, Friendship. Now, friendship is an interesting one, since it usually requires multiple users to cast. It requires a group of ponies with a unique emotional bond to form an array in order for energy to be processed between them. The bond amplifies the magic using latent energy in the air every time it a spell passes between friends, therefore making a single spell more powerful than their total powers combined. The Elements of Harmony can be used as a magical focus which basically increases the amplification an unprecedented amount. Now, the magic of friendship is usually unobservable, but when myself and my friends use it, it appears as a rainbow. This could take any visual form with different bearers of the elements, but we believe it appears as a rainbow for us because the sonic rainboom caused all of our cutie marks, and such a powerful synchronization between ponies took a form that was important to all of us, even if we did not know that the sonic rainboom had a significant effect on each-other the first time we used the elements. The magic of friendship is rarely used in a magical form, but rather in a more social form. It can only be channeled by an event that cannot be overcome by those available to overcome it, resulting in it's use being limited, but powerful.
Tinker 2nd Jan 2014, 4:35 PM edit delete reply
The fourth and final Equestrian-wide recognized magic is love. Love functions in a way not unsimilar to friendship, but love does not need to be two-ways. Love is channeled by the strong positive emotions of a pony in order to give power to somepony else. It governs many domains of protection spells. The most obvious example would be the wedding in Canterlot where Cadance (the Princess of Love) was able to give my big-brother the ability to use her alicorn-level magical ability on a spell he knew that (at the time) she didn't. A normal unicorn using a spell with that much force would have had their horn shredded by the pure magical force, but since the power was given through love it could not hurt him. In short, the power of love is giving energy to another you care about deeply. Now, changelings feed off love because of this, and as such it can give them the greatest power since they do not need to actually eat or drink. Interesting behavior of changelings was brought up at the time of the wedding in that some ponies wondered why the changelings were causing fear instead of remaining disguised and simply obtaining love. The reason for this is that at the time Queen Chrysalis had captured Cadance and Celestia, arguably the two most powerful sources of love in all of Equestria. Having them trapped but alive gave the queen near-unlimited love, so it was up to her children to keep those who would interfere on the defensive. Chrysalis could feed off the princesses' love directly and later simply feed all of her children by loving them, as a queen loves her subjects. Lucky for us Shining Armor had a barrier spell fueled by alicorn magic, otherwise for all we know Chrysalis could still have Celestia and Cadance coocooned inside canterlot castle.
Tinker 2nd Jan 2014, 4:36 PM edit delete reply
Now, the other types of magic I am not simply allowed to tell you due to their rarity and instability. Perhaps in the future when more is known I could give you additional information on each type. For instance, experts on certain types, such as Zecora's ability for nature magic, Discord's love of chaos, and Sombra's ability to channel hatred.
As a final note, the artifacts known as the Elements of Harmony are able to increase magic ability no less than tenfold, but there must be a bond in order to use them. Their known uses counting back are the bond of friendship, the bond between a Princess and her Subjects, and the bond between two sisters. Every use was only done in a time when Equestria was in dire need of peace. Now, given the opportunity, I do believe Cadance and my brother would have been able to use them together due to their bonds of love, but that is just a theory.
Tinker 2nd Jan 2014, 4:36 PM edit delete reply
P.P.S. It's okay, I am getting used to it. It still feels weird, though.

P.P.P.S. I have many full notebooks on my notes and theories about magic, but none have technically been published, so no. I would loke to write some spellbooks, but it would break copyright laws since I have only created one piece of new magic in my life. Now, some ponies have written compendiums on basic spells with rights from previous authors either granted or put into public domain since the original authors are argued or unknown. I would do so myself, but I simply don't have the time now that I have royal duties required of me. If you'd like a recommendation for cooking I'd recommend 'Synthesis of the foods of Necessity.' It follows the idea of growing and cooking food at the same time maximizes the flavors you can get, but it's very complicated and finnicky. It's all about natural magic so with enough practice and some luck even an earthpony or pegasus could do it. Having a horn as a natural focus doesn't hurt, though.

P.P.P.P.S. I really don't think Applejack wants me giving out her birthday to strangers on the internet, but I'm not sure she really wants anything. Of course we're going to throw her a party, but in terms of presents for Applejack we generally stay pretty low. She is completely content with her life, which is quite noble, but also means anything we get her has potential to be nothing but clutter. Last year she asked for a box of nails. Always function over form with that pony.

P.P.P.P.P.S. No thank you. I assure you, I am quite alright.
Letrune 31st Dec 2013, 11:10 AM edit delete reply

(The MLP version)
Dear whoever whats-your-name,

would you be so kind and give the nation into the paws of cats like me please? I got some brilliant plans.

FID version:
Dear player. Why, oh why you derail so much when you can since you got fireball? Why do all the mages do that?
ANW 1st Jan 2014, 8:58 AM edit delete reply
MLP: No, but you can give me the ideas.

FID: I don't mean to, it just happens.
AlternateUniverse!Zuche 31st Dec 2013, 4:22 PM edit delete reply
MLP Twilight. Oh the fun.

What I would ask?

How is foal formed
How is foal formed
How mare get pregnant
ANW 31st Dec 2013, 6:51 PM edit delete reply
I don't think you guys are getting it.
You don't just ask the questions, you guys also answer others as well.
I just did the first one as an example.
And for my question:
How's the wings? Any luck with the preening?
kriss1989 31st Dec 2013, 11:06 PM edit delete reply
FiM: I kept asking Dash about it, but she always started blushing and getting awkward whenever I brought it up. Finally Fluttershy sat me down in her home and gave me the pegasus version of "the talk" and "growing up". It's apparently a lot more private than I throught it would be. Everyone knows that Pegasi preen, but they still consider it emberrassing to talk about. I guess because it's like bathing they want to keep it private? Speaking of bathing, it turns out taking a shower doesn't work very well with wings, the water runs right off the surface and you cant really clean further down, so full on baths are needed. But yeah, I got the basics of preening down now. I just have to remember now not to go for an itch or misaligned feather in public, especially if there are Pegasi around. The first time is retroactively emberrassing enough, butat least I had the excuse of not knowing.
Hallan 31st Dec 2013, 7:35 AM edit delete reply
Story time:
I was playing an elf mage, Chaotic Good. Our three person party (barbarian and fighter were the other two) was facing off against a demon in the middle of a crowd of tables. I'd already used my high-level spells, bloodying the demon, and the barbarian and fighter had set up flanking positions on either side of the demon.

Rather than shoot into this melee, I used an illusion to cover my sneaking close under the tables... and declared that I was going to stuff three Alchemist Fire potions down the demon's pants. (Yes, he was wearing pants. Long story.) I'd been hanging onto those potions for weeks in-game after looting them from a previous encounter, saving them for just such an occasion, and it was the last battle of the campaign. This story was going to go out with a bang, or I was going to know the reason why!

After my fellow players stopped laughing (mostly), the DM said, "Oookay. Roll a Dex check."

Natural 1.

The laughter around the table stopped as a blast wave of shock exploded out of the 'automatic fail' sitting there in front of us. Jaws fell open in silence, as if mourning the sudden death of a friend. And then the DM cleared his throat.

"You fail so spectacularly at being sneaky that not only are you detected putting the vials in his pocket, but he yells, 'What are you doing in there?!'... and slaps both hands down on the pocket. All three vials explode at once. Roll for damage."

The table erupted bigger than the demon's pocket did.
ANW 31st Dec 2013, 7:47 AM edit delete reply
Boss use Pocket Slap.
It was super effective.
Boss Fainted.
Mage gets 2183 exp. points.
Mage leveled up.
Mage learn Potion Blast.
Call me Al 31st Dec 2013, 11:02 AM edit delete reply
I have a question for newbie spud, is the GM watching all this? Is he just not talking? Or is he absent?
Raxon 31st Dec 2013, 11:52 AM edit delete reply
She is absent. Along with Dash and Rarity.
Ulzgoroth 31st Dec 2013, 4:32 PM edit delete reply
See comic #330 for background on the current situation.
Call me Al 1st Jan 2014, 10:00 PM edit delete reply
Ok, I forgot about that.
Tatsurou 31st Dec 2013, 12:46 PM edit delete reply
I have a poll of my own. I've seen a few really cute stories of one of the ponies - as a baby or filly - showing up in the human world to be raised by a human. I understand this has something to do with "My Little Dashie". So here's my poll.

You find one of the ponies in the real world in need of care.

Which pony?
How old are they?
What do you do?

Personally, I find Scootaloo as an infant, and I take her in to raise her. She's just too cute. And awesome.
super_big_mac 2nd Jan 2014, 1:27 AM edit delete reply
Twilight or Pinkie Pie, at around the age of one month to one year old.

I'd teach them about my world, of course, but also show them their own. I'd let Twi practice and/or learn magic, trying to teach her stuff I've learned on TV and the internet, or teach Pinkie how to smile and have fun at an earlier age than in the show.

I wouldn't do what RobCaekran did in MLD, since adding everything he did up against a standard parent of a human and he'd be facing charges of child neglect. If we were to go by animal rights laws, it'd be animal abuse. Stockholm Syndrom is another thing to be put up on his list of failings, since I have an uncle who acts pretty much exactly like the main character in MLD, and I hate his guts (Yeah, I'm just the tiniest bit biased).
Lyntermas 1st Jan 2014, 2:07 AM edit delete reply
Alt-script time!

FS: Oh my, that seemed really thought out, Applejack.
AJ: Well, the whole plan just sorta flowed together. I got the stats and the cutie mark for it, after all.
PP: Sweet! Now it's Fluttershy's turn.
FS: M-my turn? For what?
PP: A stampede of bunnies is headed for town!
AJ: ...Beg pardon?
Jayswing103 1st Jan 2014, 3:54 PM edit delete reply
So this is a bit different then most but at a convention I went to there was actually a table for Pony based D&D and one time we had to fight a spider boss. What happened was that our rogue poisoned the boss so that any attack did extra damage and then our cleric, the weakest guy in the group who couldn't seem to even be able to hit the side of a barn, ended up rolling 2 nat 20s so he ended up doing quadruple damage with about 8 12d dice. Adding in the poison the cleric actually did enough damage that he one shot the boss.