Page 312 - Expedited Insanity

18th Jul 2013, 6:00 AM
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Expedited Insanity
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 18th Jul 2013, 6:00 AM edit delete
Newbiespud
Story time! Tell a story about a convoluted or nonsensical plan that was conceived surprisingly quickly.

116 Comments:

Raxon 18th Jul 2013, 6:08 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
I once created jello using 13th century technology in order to disguise ourselves as gelatinous cubes.

It didn't take.
Digo 18th Jul 2013, 6:27 AM edit delete reply
Well yeah. Usually requires refridgeration :3
Bonus points if you disguise yourselves as pieces of fruit inside your jello suit.
Rokas 18th Jul 2013, 7:57 AM edit delete reply
I'm sure a wizard/sorcer/whatever-D&D-calls-a-magic-user would know a few ice/freezing/cold/WHATEVER spells to cool off the gelatin.
Digo 18th Jul 2013, 8:09 AM edit delete reply
I dunno, given how many "A Wizard Did It" aberations there are in D&D, I would figure at some point that plan will create some kind of gelatinous ice monster. :3
Narcolepto 18th Jul 2013, 8:24 AM edit delete reply
But... Ray of frost is a 0th level spell!
Digo 18th Jul 2013, 10:16 AM edit delete reply
Sure, it starts with a 0th level spell. But then comes along a wizard who looks at Raxon's idea and thinks "I bet I could do that in half the time using a spell that's twice the level."

Of course then comes the research on making 0 x 2 = Something greater than zero and this ends up snapping the wizard's mind and driving him mad to keep adding levels into the spells until the action economy makes them cast "Ice-9" as a free action, bringing the gelatin to absolute zero and breaking physics, which will have no choice but to respond with an eldritch Jello ice monster to eat the wizard and run amuck the countryside.
aerion111 20th Jul 2013, 3:40 PM edit delete reply
aerion111
In DnD and Pathfinder, at least from 3.5 forward, twice the level of 0 is 1.
0 is treated as 1/2 in any kind of math I can think of (prices, power, charges, whatever)
So, the wizard wanting to double the level would just cast a 1st-level spell, which even a starter wizard can do.
No mind-breakage.

The problem comes when you start opening portals to the Plane of Ice to try mass-producing it.
guy 8th May 2014, 2:29 PM edit delete reply
It's a reference to a comic called 8-bit theatre.
T 18th Jul 2013, 9:22 AM edit delete reply
I think you can make gellatin solidify at room temperature if you make it more concentrated like those gummy bears.

Yeah, I like gellatin.
Raxon 18th Jul 2013, 6:28 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
You're right! OF COURSE! That's why the plan didn't work! I used water to make the jello, not acid!

I'll know better next time!
Guest 19th Jul 2013, 12:25 PM edit delete reply
Well, I guess I know what I'm going as for Halloween this year now.
Suburbanbanshee 21st Jul 2013, 7:25 AM edit delete reply
Of course you don't need refrigeration to make gelatinous substances. Haven't you folks ever heard of aspic? Make a sliceable or an inedible aspic in a mold, and use the mold to hold the aspic together until you get there. Still won't work in a desert or jungle heat, and it will smell like meat, but it should be possible.
Digo 18th Jul 2013, 6:38 AM edit delete reply
Our party of super heroes needed to infiltrate a 30-story office building to catch the BBEG. Our plan was put together and executed in about 7 minutes. I'll name all the PCs based on their expy:

1. Static Shock disguises himself as a cook and simply walks into the building. He acts like he's late to work and manages to fast-talk the guards to let him get to the BBEG's kitchen.
2. Paul (gray alien) rents a fancy car and parks it two block down outside a fancy hotel. He leaves a lit pipe bomb in the back seat. Calls 911 to report a bombing. Car detonates.
3. Fox McCloud gets roof access to the 30-story building across the street. Polevaults over to the target building and sneaks inside at the moment the car bomb goes off, making the guards think the explosion set off the proximity alarm.
4.The Great and Powerful Trixie is disguised as a new mascot for GEICO, along with an illusion of an insurance saleman. They both walk into the lobby and ask to speak to the secretary of the BBEG for business. When the car bomb goes off, River Song runs into the lobby screaming that the end in here and we must all buy insurance. People rush the illusionary sales man to let Trixie sneak away into the stairwell.

At this point the panic reaches the BBEG who sees that we're after him. He sends his mooks to gun us all down, but because we're all coming from different directions, his forces are thinned out.
The fight doesn't go well so Trixie enacts her escape plan--

She pulls the fire alarm and causes the building to evacuate. Half the mooks get lost in the panicking crowd and we all got away. The BBEG also got away, but we did manage to see where he was going so we followed him to the next location...
The Batman 18th Jul 2013, 7:25 AM edit delete reply
This is the best superhero team ever.
Classic Steve 18th Jul 2013, 11:27 AM edit delete reply
*sees username* Of course, you wouldn't have much experience with good teams, would you.
Raxon 18th Jul 2013, 4:04 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Who needs a team!? He has an international network of batmen!
Ponikon 19th Jul 2013, 4:56 AM edit delete reply
Interplanetary, in fact.

And I think your Fox McCloud is just a bit more like Faith in this scene.
DracoS 18th Jul 2013, 6:46 AM edit delete reply
In a game of Gurps, our party was engaged by a hostile avalanche. After trying to shoot the avalanche failed and made the avalanche worse, we quickly made a makeshift sled by blowing a house off of its foundations and then strapping my character, who transformed into a BFG jukebox, to it to serve as a bass cannon rocket booster.
Digo 18th Jul 2013, 8:11 AM edit delete reply
If it wasn't for explaning that this was GURPS, I'd wonder how the team managed such a crazy scheme. XD

Good job though!
Chetoos 18th Jul 2013, 7:06 AM edit delete reply
One time my party was up against a Balor as a roughly level 15 party since our DM decided that was pretty much the only way he could keep us challenged. I quickly realized the only plan was to throw me, the barbarian with a ridiculous strength score at it. I take fall damage, but so does the Balor. Then, next turn, I smite evil (blessing of Iomedae, don't ask.) and rage, obliterating it in a single turn of full round attack.
Giggle Tail 18th Jul 2013, 7:15 AM edit delete reply
Giggle Tail
Seriously? That's basically EVERY convoluted plan my D&D group has ever had:

1. Trying to make explosives out of bird poo (even though we were't allowed to actually succeed)

2. Using two large water elementals and a lightning bolt spell to fry half the battle field

3. Using a combination of ghost sound and silent image to stage a dragon attack in order to get out of the mother of all bar fights

Etc...

However, one specific plan stands out. This plan was enacted by one of the strangest members of the D&D club I used to be part of years ago.

I have come to affectionately call this scene "The Glowing Panda Incident."

Just for fun, we decided to use races from Warcraft for this campaign. As such, the previously-mentioned crazy guy had chosen to play a pandaren cleric. The adventure began with us all in prison for different reasons (many of those reasons simply being because of our chosen races).

The party's human ranger was told that luckily, before he had his equipment taken and was thrown into his cell, he had managed to secretly break the tip off his spear. So, naturally, he started working to break the hinges off his cell door using the spear tip.

While he was doing this, one of the guards was passing through, giving each of us some bread. Immediately after the DM said the pandaren was given his food, his player announced "I cast light on myself!"

We all went into a stunned silence for a couple seconds, then the DM said this:

"O-kay, you cast light on yourself. The guard sees the light coming from your cell and looks back in. He sees you and asks "WHY ARE YOU GLOWING?!?"

At this, the pandaren player threw his arms up into the air dramatically (he really liked to get into his characters) and cried out "IT'S THE BREEEAAD!!!!"

It took a while for us to all stop laughing, but once we did, the DM told the ranger that he had finally broken the hinges off his cell door, and the guard was fully distracted by the odd events taking place in front of him.

As if this whole scenario wasn't funny enough already, he asked where his cell was in relation to the panda cleric's. The DM said it was right across from his.

The ranger pushed his door over and knocked out the guard. Once we were all free, we stowed him away in a nearby closet.

To this day I have no idea if the crazy one was planning for things to play out like this, or if he just thought a glowing panda claiming his bread was cursed would be funny.
Narcolepto 18th Jul 2013, 8:28 AM edit delete reply
Man I WISH my players were that creative! Once they had to attack a fort full of 8 guys that was on a hill, the walls crumbling. They were given a password, a disguise, and a parcel the dudes in the fort were expecting to receive from an outside messenger.

It still took them 2.5 hours real time to come up with "we sneak up on the base from the completely open side with no cover." They of course became pincushions when the archers in the watchtowers noticed them.

After that they spent another hour planning, and their final plan was "rush the front door!"
Zodo 18th Jul 2013, 8:52 AM edit delete reply
Ah, the full frontal assault. My gaming groups affectionately called that 'Plan B'
StormCroe 19th Jul 2013, 6:28 AM edit delete reply
Plan B. Pah thats my groups Plan A
Giggle Tail 18th Jul 2013, 11:26 AM edit delete reply
Giggle Tail
We're all kind of crazy. The creativity is just a side effect of that :P

The guy in the story I have now edited into that comment, on the other hand, may have been just plain crazy.
Evil Paladin 18th Jul 2013, 12:29 PM edit delete reply
I get the feeling cray panda guy was referencing the glowing mushrooms in MGS3 that recharge Snake's batteries.
Giggle Tail 18th Jul 2013, 4:55 PM edit delete reply
Giggle Tail
I'm not sure...I think he was just being his typical random self.
Guest 20th Jul 2013, 4:34 PM edit delete reply
Heres a glowing panda :p

http://www.deviantart.com/#/art/Glowing-Panda-Necklace-386730143?_sid=5ddfe9ee
Sorakirin 18th Jul 2013, 7:27 AM edit delete reply
If GM plans count I have a great one. I was running a Mutants and Masterminds campaign for a long time and I was starting to run out of ideas so I decided to put the game on Hiatus but not before going out with a bang. I came uo with this scheme the night before the last game of the campaign for a while which was to grab a s villain for each of the players from my folio of Super Villains. So I started the game like any other. The group knew that I wanted to try a different game system and that this game was coming to a close that night and they were expecting yet another one of my villain of the week bad guys. Well they got a bit more when I enacted my master plan. Explosives went off at random points around the city causing the military and police to stretch their forces thin leaving the party without backup if something went wrong. Then the reports of the villain attacks came in.There were 5 villains at 5 places of importance to the city communications, the military base, the power station, the police station and the hospital. I picked out villains that would be interesting for each of the players to fight most of these were solo fights and I figured some of the baddies would go down faster then others and then the party would start regrouping to finish the rest. I was betting on maybe them losing two fights at most. Well there were a lot of bad dice rolls on their part and they all got beaten and captured. Which worked out even better for me because now when I restart the game I get to run a session of them escaping the main mastermind behind the whole thing's evil lair complete with death traps.
Froborr 18th Jul 2013, 7:43 AM edit delete reply
I'm finally caught up again!

Have I mentioned the Gojira incident? I don't think I have... this was the Slayers d20 campaign. The party was in an airship, and below them they see Gojira rising from the sea, headed for a coastal city they were hoping would turn out friendly. Now, I ruled Gojira was a Mazoku, which meant all nonmagical attacks automatically missed, rendering their cannon useless, and Mazoku tend to have high spell resistance, too.

What was SUPPOSED to happen was they stand by helplessly as the town is attacked, maybe help rescue some people. Instead, one of my players grabs the rulebook and looks something up. "Since I'm a Warrior of Justice, that means *all* my unarmed attacks can hit Mazoku and do lethal damage, right? Not just the named ones?"

"Yes..." I answer.

"Awesome. I tackle it."

"You're 5,000 feet above it!"

"Yep," he says with a grin, and hands me what he was looking at in the book--the falling damage table.

Elapsed time since I described Gojira, maybe three minutes.
Digo 18th Jul 2013, 8:16 AM edit delete reply
That sounds like a move Amelia would do. :3
Crisis 18th Jul 2013, 10:43 AM edit delete reply
That reminds me of a character I made for a superhero campaign. One of his limitations was that he could only deal nonlethal damage, but one of his powers was the ability to change his personal gravitational orientation. Another was personal damage negation from various impacts (partial to total depending on circumstances).

And I rolled sickeningly high for hp.

I *abused* the falling damage table that entire campaign.
Leo 18th Jul 2013, 8:00 AM edit delete reply
Ive had a few but the best one was from a Call of Cthulhu campaign I was in. We were playing as versions of ourselves taking place at our college as a fun halloween one shot. A couple hours in, the cult succeeded in summoning an elder god (one made of fire that summoned fire vampires, it was problematic). We managed to get away from its spawn point but had to figure out how to beat it and came up with a good plan. Earlier we got lucky because I had found a mythos tome in Latin, and had a decent score in Latin due to taking classes in it.

Anyway we put together a plan of summoning an ice demon using a spell from the tomb and keeping it safe using a protection spell. Then my friend was going to strap a copious amount of pipe bombs to a tank of liquid nitrogen outside the physics building. Once this was done, we had the ice demon pick up the tank (which was about 15-20 feet tall and like 8+ feet in diameter) and lobed it right into the demon. The combination of pipe bomb explosions and the sudden introduction of liquid nitrogen took him out.

DM took a bit to respond to that one.
Zakaz 18th Jul 2013, 8:16 AM edit delete reply
Once, our DM decided to test our ingenuity by somehow stranding us in a cave that was slowly filling with water.

Our method of escape was simple. Use a whole ton of magic C4 to blow a hole in the wall. This idea occurred about three seconds after the DM stopped explaining.
Narcolepto 18th Jul 2013, 8:32 AM edit delete reply
I get the feeling that if I were DMing that then you would have had to deal with the pressure wave... Being in an enclosed space with that much explosive is pretty much death. And if there's a magic reason why there's no pressure wave, then at the very least make a reflex save to avoid the cave in =D
KFDirector 18th Jul 2013, 8:39 AM edit delete reply
GURPS Action, vigilante genre (think Boondock Saints).

The rest of the party was captured by police after their truck wiped out in a high speed chase. I got away, and was then contacted regarding which hospital they were in and under heavy guard.

It took me about thirty seconds to decide that I was going to distract the police's attention with a fake bomb threat involving a rented truck, some rain barrels and random bits of wire purchased at the hardware store, lots and lots of window tint, a megaphone, and a recording of my character making an angry paranoid multilingual rant set to loop indefinitely.

Actually obtaining the rental truck took only a few minutes longer ("for the cameras, I am pointing a gun at you. I am placing money on the counter. You will not report this robbery for at least forty-five minutes. Keep the money") and it took our NPC ally several minutes more to decide how to take advantage of my distraction.

Every cop in the hospital - and several blocks surrounding - found responding to the bomb threat out front a much higher priority than guarding two badly injured vigilantes, allowing some friendly nuns to haul the PCs out the back door into a limousine belonging to our NPC ally. I was able to join them, since after all I wasn't actually IN the 'truck bomb', just my voice.

Yes, this would have left scads of evidence to eventually get us caught, but by my character's estimate we all had less than three days to live anyway before either the mob or the feds put an end to our work.
remial 18th Jul 2013, 8:41 AM edit delete reply
oh boy...
so we were playing Shadowrun, and we were told that a particular young woman was going to be hired by a mega-corp to develop biological weapons, based on research she had done involving the genome project. thanks to research she had developed she could identify elves, dwarves, etc based entirely on DNA, and with no magic involved. So naturally we were hired to kidnap her.
after failed attempts to do so at an aquarium, and 3 different dinner parties, we, looking at her itinerary, saw that she had scheduled time to hit the local mega-mall. so while she and her bodyguards were shopping, we went out got a big van, a couple of kegs, and a troll heavy metal band. We spray painted "Party Van" on the sides of the vehicle, and got the band to start playing and started handing out cups of beer to anyone who came close. She, having had her entire trip planned out for her by the corp looking to hire her, was curious to see what the noise was, she came out, we offered her a beer, and as she took the beer, we grabbed her tossed her in the van and drove off like a cyborg Frankenstein and a bunch of lunatics with big guns were chasing after us. (because they were)
Digo 18th Jul 2013, 1:51 PM edit delete reply
Did you keep the "Party Van"?
Guest 20th Jul 2013, 1:07 PM edit delete reply
well, we tried. apparently another team of shadowrunners had been hired to abduct her as well, so when we got to our safe house, the other team showed up, in addition to the bodyguards.

fortunately, the 2 groups started fighting each other, so we only had to pick off the survivors.

the party van got blown up by the bodyguards, to prevent us from making a getaway in the ensuing chaos.

not a total loss, the GM believed that vehicles, existed in the Shadowrun universe only so they could get blown up, and the van had served its purpose.
remial 18th Jul 2013, 8:54 AM edit delete reply
ok, thought of another one.
Shadowrun again. different group of PCs, but same group of players.
We were hired (at a set price and expenses) to make an extraction against the company that controlled the local matrix connections. (think phone / cable company) and because it was the central connection point for all computer connections, none of the people who could monitor computer traffic were willing to help us.

so we start digging and do research. turns out the person we were being hired to kidnap from the company was the wife of the guy who hired us. SHE had been kidnapped by the company because our boss hadn't paid his bill.

so instead of the long drawn out battle and sneaking into the building, we walked in with the bill, paid it, and walked out with the wife.
Indigo Steel 18th Jul 2013, 8:05 PM edit delete reply
Indigo Steel
Very nice! Makes you wonder why the guy didn't just pay the bill himself. Either on general principles or he just wanted bloody retribution. :/

Raxon 18th Jul 2013, 9:56 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Hey! You're new here, aren't you? Welcome! Have an army of marshmallow Scootaloos!
Indigo Steel 19th Jul 2013, 7:52 PM edit delete reply
Indigo Steel
Thanks! I will enjoy them!
Guest 20th Jul 2013, 1:08 PM edit delete reply
yeah, we were never really clear on that aspect of his plan.

in the end, it cost him about 4 times what the original bill was. he had to pay us, pay for all the equipment we had bought to prepare for the strike, pay our informants, and finally pay the bill itself.
Soletta 18th Jul 2013, 8:57 AM edit delete reply
Yu-Shan (heaven), Exalted universe.

There is an exalt running around at Flash level speeds and we need to stop him before any more of Yu-Shan catches on fire or is generally captured.

From a previous encounter, we know that this guy hates loud noise. Also previously, we had made a video channel on the broadcast system around Yu-Shan (called Yu-Tube...I'm not proud of my party sometimes).

So what do we do? Play a Nyan-Cat equivialant called Nyan Duck (ducks everwhere was a running gag) on loop through certain areas to corral him where we wanted him. Here we set up a river of sticky toffee (the God of Toffee owed us a favour) and when he reached it, a member of the party used a hardening charm to stop him flat.

Not only did we stop him long enough for the tank to whale on him, we invented hard toffee :)

Time from situation to plan? About 10 mins.
NeutralDemon 18th Jul 2013, 11:57 AM edit delete reply
Why did the god of toffee owe you?
Raxon 18th Jul 2013, 11:00 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
The toffee god owes him, because he invented walnettos.
Daeron 19th Jul 2013, 11:10 PM edit delete reply
Daeron
Then every living being owes him.
Soletta 20th Jul 2013, 2:19 AM edit delete reply
We got him an advert to the whole of Creation. In the middle of a video responding to one sent out by our Big Bad, offering the secrets to saving or destroying creation if they they capture and turn over my girlfriend.

The response by the way was a fake press conference with one of our party charmed to look like the BB in order to compleatly ruin her creativity...Come to think of it that was also a plan that spiralled rather rapidly.
aylatrigger 18th Jul 2013, 9:00 AM edit delete reply
This is more of a plan on how to deal with a trait...
In the past anime marathons at my college, I've run oneshot RPGs, usually Maid RPG and one other anime based RPG (Big Eyes Small Mouth, Adeptus Evangelion, or others). For Maid RPG, usually we do full random character and setting generation with type of game as 'Action'. Our setting this time was on the road in the Wild West. The master and one of the maids rolled up were vampires. We quickly decided that the maids and butler, none of whom were human, had no moral quandaries about the vampirism and instead were dutifully trying to catch humans for their master. We would catch humans in back alleys, drain them of blood, store the blood in a steampunked refrigerator, skin the body, turn the hide into leather, cut up the meat, and dry the meat into jerky. Then we would sell the meat and leather to local merchants. It is amazing how fast players can turn to NE.

Eventually the local Sheriff grew suspicious, but one of our characters was related to the mob, so we did an assassination of an innocent little girl who was the daughter of some official in return for them covering up our murder spree. During the assassination we met a ghost and through conversing, our robot butler started to wonder if murder was wrong. But then we stopped the game as we had run out of time.
Kynrasian 18th Jul 2013, 9:06 AM edit delete reply
Kynrasian
Well in 4e, our party once began an encouter with a surprise round because they tossed a dwarf up and over a fence, who then landed on top of a kobold, killing it instantly.

Given that most of them were minions, this was an unnecessary level of complexity.
Raxon 18th Jul 2013, 9:08 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
*ahem*

It is coming.
Zuche 18th Jul 2013, 10:28 AM edit delete reply
Michael Moran's daughter? Yeah, she could be pretty terrifying.
Evil Paladin 18th Jul 2013, 12:36 PM edit delete reply
I'll get my rain poncho.
Mycroftxxx 23rd Jul 2013, 4:32 AM edit delete reply
"HE IS HERE. THE ONE WHO WILL TEAR APART THE VERY STARS IN HEAVEN. HE IS HERE. HE IS THE END OF THE WORLD." - Harry Potter and the Methods of Ratonality

If you're going to advertise, do it _right_.
Kitsudragon 18th Jul 2013, 10:23 AM edit delete reply
My favorite nonsensical plan was begun as a bit of a GM's "nonsensical problem." See, the PC's had managed to roll over the enemy forces for a while now. They were a different take on the idea of a bioengineered race. They had started out as master geneticists, who bioengineered *themselves* for greater capability.

So anyway, they have this awesome genetic manipulation talent, which they use to bioengineer a starship hull which is incredibly armored against anything except sound. The idea being that a vulnerability to sonic attack isn't much of a vulnerability in deep space.

I finish mentioning the latest wrinkle the good guys discover from an analysis of the enemy's starship armor, and practically the moment I finish, one of the players walks up to me with a diagram. It's a limpet mine with several large tanks of a noble gas which will can be sprayed with an aerator across the hull, creating a temporary way to transfer sound. Then, while the sprayer is still effectively connecting the mine to the hull, the overpowered sonic disruptor in the middle of the device fires, shattering the hull.

I blinked and facepalmed when that one happened. Since then, I've never tried using a silly defense against they players. They're too good at handling those...
Indigo Steel 18th Jul 2013, 8:10 PM edit delete reply
Indigo Steel
Wow...I would NOT have thought of that...
Raxon 18th Jul 2013, 11:11 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Huh. In my story, Raxon invented waterproof limpet mines with speakers attached. They're used to attach to submarine hulls. Their sinister purpose?

To let him play DJ. The mines use the Submarine's hull as one big speaker, so he can play all the music he wants. The crews don't generally like it, since he replicates the voices of people who should not be singing, and uses those voices to sing pop songs.

If you've ever wondered how it would sound for Barny Fife to sing "I will always love you", well... Don't. It's terrible. Same goes for John Wayne singing spice girls songs.

The worst was probably Fran Drescher singing Vanilla Ice. Oh, wait, no. It was when Fran Drescher and Gilbert Godfrey sang "Total Eclipse of the Heart" together.

Syth 18th Jul 2013, 11:51 PM edit delete reply
Syth
As DM I would make you roll an alignment check and the crew a sanity check. At LEAST one, two if you're backing Gil and Fran with Kenny G.
Raxon 19th Jul 2013, 4:54 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
You think that's bad? The crew can't remove the mine unless they go to dry dock. As long as the mine is active, enemy subs can hear them loud and clear.

It could be worse. He fakes an alien landing in Washington DC. When he, as the alien commander, walks out of the ship solemnly, he descends to the bottom of the ramp, takes a deep breath and... Begins the choke and gasp and spasm, quickly becoming totally motionless. Two other fake aliens rush down to grab him, wearing face masks and shouting gibberish as they haul him up the ramp.

An hour later, Raxon emerges again, this time wearing a breathing mask. "What the hell is wrong with you earth people!? I was told you breathe oxygen! Your air is filled with poison! It is barbaric! Who thought introducing so much nitrogen into the atmosphere was a good idea! He should be executed!" After recovering from his rage, he says, "Let's try this again. Greetings, Earth! I come bearing vital knowledge from across the stars. I give to you this book of information."

He glances down at the book. "Oh my goodness! It's a cook book! It's a cook book!"

Yeah, if I had vast magical powers, illusion magic, and biomancy, I would perform public stunts and skits to amuse myself, too. FYI, Raxon's official superhero handle is Professor Bio. His unofficial handle is Captain International Incident. With good reason.
XanthosDeia 18th Jul 2013, 11:02 AM edit delete reply
Once, I was playing in a nordic themed campaign as a wizard. The background was that we were from a lumber mill town, and we were investigating goblin attacks on the town.
We eventually track the goblins down to a cave, but inside are literally dozens of goblins in a fairly small area. Not wanting to risk a frontal assault, we started to plot. As I was looking at my spell list, an idea clicked in my head.
We ran back to town, and got a cart full of sawdust from the mill. We brought the cart to the cave, shoved it just inside, and cast "wind wall" on it. Shortly thereafter, a fireball from a safe distance finished the job and collapsed the entire cave system in one fell swoop.
Science. It works, bitches.
Indigo Steel 18th Jul 2013, 8:19 PM edit delete reply
Indigo Steel
As Kitsudragon can attest to...
Suburbanbanshee 21st Jul 2013, 7:39 AM edit delete reply
Actually, that's engineering.
Grrys 18th Jul 2013, 11:55 AM edit delete reply
A ranger with magical swords that can make him the ultimate sneaker. An axe crazy barbarian that's only good for hitting things. A summoner encased in daggers using a sword larger than himself. Invisibility potions for the barb and summoner, as one of the magic swords grants invisibility. It took less than a minute to plan, put into effect, and kill the evil wizard. Both in and out of game!
Destrustor 18th Jul 2013, 12:07 PM edit delete reply
Destrustor
We once went in against the big bad with the following plan:
"we go in there, and you(the DM's npc) one-hit kill her with a magical crit."
The battle went exactly as planned, to no one's surprise.
Ace the Eagle 18th Jul 2013, 12:29 PM edit delete reply
So I invented a new RPG which was an ancient Japan thing(which our cleric named it Nippon Adventures).
So first NA game ever
Our ninja (rogue) had a kappa summoning cucumber (don't ask). I put the party in a position where they had to go into a city, but in order to do so they had to be purified by the mikos (clerics) at the gate. The party had some enchantment from a demon which they had to deliver to someone in the city and being purified would have removed the enchantment and cause them to fail.
Confident I had them stumped for a good 20 minutes. I left to get a slice of pizza and some root beer. When I arrived every one was smiling and our ninja said "We got in the city unpurified. Where's this guys house?" I was asked "HOW IN BLOODY HELL DID YOU DO THAT!?"
"I summoned the kappa he created a scene. Got the guards to go after him, the mikos were having their skirts lifted up so they were busy. So we walked in"
"When did you get this idea?"
"Before you left"
I just went with it and let them in. Now we have a joke of someone mentioning kappas at every temple, even when it isn't Nippon Adventures.
Although since they got in sooner than expected it took me awhile to think of what the next mission was going to be.
Kaze Koichi 18th Jul 2013, 1:31 PM edit delete reply
"...had a kappa summoning cucumber (don't ask)"
Sounds legid for me.
Ace the Eagle 18th Jul 2013, 5:06 PM edit delete reply
Well kappa's like cucumbers and he saved one earlier so yeah
Raxon 19th Jul 2013, 4:55 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
They love cucumbers, but not for eating.

Boom. Folklore made much worse.
Ace the Eagle 19th Jul 2013, 12:30 PM edit delete reply
I hit with physical Wikipedia
Ace the Eagle 19th Jul 2013, 12:37 PM edit delete reply
That was aimed at Raxon
Guest 19th Jul 2013, 12:50 PM edit delete reply
Copied directly from Wikipedia "but especially cucumbers, the only food kappa are known to enjoy more than human children"
Also I majored in Japanese culture (specifically mythology) and what you describe was never once mentioned in anything I researched.
Ba-Bam!
Mink of Snow 19th Jul 2013, 12:32 PM edit delete reply
Oh Mother Amaterasu
Nippon Adventure. We haven't played that since last year! Hey Ace. When I get back from Canada can we do a level 1 game? I made an awesome Miko character.
Ace the Eagle 19th Jul 2013, 6:04 PM edit delete reply
Yeah okay I got a great scenario
continue on email
Raxon 20th Jul 2013, 4:27 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Don't mind me, Ace. Sometimes words come out of my mouth, and then they show up on my screen, and I can't be arsed to read what the hell I've written.

Thus, you get some horrible stuff.
Suburbanbanshee 21st Jul 2013, 7:41 AM edit delete reply
Mikos wear big red pants, not skirts.
Evil Paladin 18th Jul 2013, 12:33 PM edit delete reply
That scene with Spike and AJ with forever fuel Spack fics.
I mean look at AJ's bed face in the last panel!
sidhe3141 18th Jul 2013, 12:53 PM edit delete reply
My group had a guy who tended to come up with weird things.

Plans, not so much.

"Yes, it is a church. Yes, it has a relic. No, there are no more than background levels of radiation, why would you think there were?"

"Yes, the head of the mages' guild does have private parts. No, they do not unlock any of the doors in the place."
Nudebovine 18th Jul 2013, 1:03 PM edit delete reply
DnD 3.5, we get on an airship with the BBEG in the bridge. Unplanned assault that day so the wizard only had the spells to let himself walk on the hull, everyone else was going to have to frontal assault, which this group didn't like. Wizard has a few min of spider climb left and says "I have an idea, wait a second" and runs away across the hull. Standing on the outside, sideways, where there are no hand holds he can see in the bridge at the BBEG. At this point the DM is just befuddeled as to what is going on and the wizard says "I cast baleful transposition", A natural 1 on the BBEG's will results in them swapping physical locations and the soft splat below is not heard by anyone. Real Time from landing on airship fortress to victory, 9 min.
Indigo Steel 18th Jul 2013, 8:16 PM edit delete reply
Indigo Steel
THIS is why bad guys shouldn't have airships. They look cool and all, but there's just too many ways to die.
Thar 18th Jul 2013, 10:36 PM edit delete reply
True, but thats only if the good guys get on. Otherwise, only weather and good anti-air can stop you.
Raxon 18th Jul 2013, 11:13 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
I like the idea of just building your airships by welding a bunch of shipping containers together. Quick, easy, and materials are plentiful.
emmerlaus 20th Jul 2013, 2:20 AM edit delete reply
emmerlaus
HAHAHA !!! Baleful Transposition is so much fun... At lower level, my common strategy was to use that spell with a familiar that could fly. Benign Transposition help for that too, help reach difficult places.

But there was ONE game, I did use it on a whim...

The adventures of the draconic crew...

In a game where the GM wanted all the players to have the half-dragon template FOR FREE (a BIG fan of dragons so it made a setting accordinly), I played Played a Beguiler (Brass half-dragon, Chaotic Good) and a other player made a Knight (Silver Half-Dragon).

We were inside a abandonned mine where there was a magic item we needed to retrieve. Of course, it was heavy guarded by minions and a evil mage. The mine was so deep that there was lava and in the middle of the lava pool, there was the altar and the quest item on it. However, the bad guys were already occupying the only path to get there without stepping in the lava. They didnt spot us yet however but only them were having the ritual to lift the runes on the altar.. So we could interrupt the ritual and still save the day by protecting it from the villain but risk that they get away with magic or I could try sneak up on them but I would have go alone.

I suddenly came up with a plan. I took a risk ad it was worth it:

I began to undress and used Invisibility. I explained my plan to the rest of teh group, they agreed. Only me and the Knight were needed for it...

I only brought with me something in my backpack. I prepared a spell before getting closer: Mind Fog

In the first round, I casted Mind Fog, which surprised the foes. I was lucky enough to start next round first and I used my scroll of Baleful Transposition to switch place with the evil cleric. And while the evil guy was taking a hot lava bath, the knight stepped him and used Test of Mettle, to make sure the minions attack him, and not me...

After that, The GM decided to just skip the battle with the minions... Man, I love that spell LOL
Daniel 18th Jul 2013, 3:58 PM edit delete reply
My party was role playing a group of adventurers apparently in North Korea. We arrived at the 38th parallel, and we had to figure out a way to get our rogue across the border. So, naturally, within five seconds I decided the best possible idea was to distract the North Koreans by Rick-rolling them.
Robin Bobcat 18th Jul 2013, 6:12 PM edit delete reply
Ah yes... I think the simply elegant plan I shall repeat here is the time my minotaur, Bort, almost single-handedly destroyed an entire hobgoblin warcamp.

So the elves were having troubles - a large number of hobbos, with drow assistance, were causeing chaos and destruction in the forest. Several elven towns and cities had been destroyed, burnt to the ground. Our group had rallied some of the more capable Elves, and set forth to deal with the problem, as well as rescue an important captive.
Upon arrival, we realized we were outnumbered by about four to one, and they had a fort built.

"No problem. I got an idea."

Bort walks up to the front gates of the hobgoblin camp casually.

"EY!"
"What you want!"
"Want job!" (did I mention Bort speaks Goblin? He speaks Goblin)
"What?!" (jaw-dropping moment from DM)
"Want job! Who I hit for job?"
"Umm.. you go talk with sub-chief!"

So, Bort is let in the front gate, casually taking notice of various fortifications and preparations for battle. Large barrels of oil on carts for setting fire to elf settlements, stacks of javelins, lots of hobbos.
He is brought to the sub-chief, who is discussing battle plans.
"Hey! You one I hit for job?"
"WHAT?!" (another jaw-drop)
"Want job. You fight pointy-eared elfs. Who I hit for job?"
"Umm... hit him." *points at one of the bugbears with the group*

One very entertaining scuffle later, Bort is now a new sergeant. He wastes no time making sure everyone knows they're supposed to be doing stuff. However about two hours later, suddenly a mischevious fire sprite is spotted, lighting fires in the camps javelin ammunition supplies!

This would be because another of the PCs, a six-inch pixie, had also come into the camp, hiding in Bort's belt pouch. She is an accomplished pyromancer and illusionist. The fire sprite was an illusion. The flames... not so much.

Bort springs into action, of course, smashing at the 'fire sprite', and bellowing for the hobbos to go get water. They dutifully dash off to the nearby river. Of course, they have buckets int heir hands, and are therefore woefully underprepared for the elves lurking in the woods.

So pretty soon the camp is ablaze. Bort is being a good sergeant, kicking hobbos as needed to get them fighting the damn fires already. The barrels of oil explode rather dramatically, and pretty soon, it's clear the camp is done for.
He ducks into the sub-chief's tent to tell him the camp is on fire, and they need to get out. Of course, they're busy interrogating the captive at the moment...
"Him important?"
"Um.. yeah."
"Right. I carry him."

So... chaotic rout of hobbies, dashing away from burning camp, picked off by arrows from the trees. Bort strides majestically out of the blazing camp in slow motion, captive under one arm, as the camp explodes in big fireballs behind him...

It was awesome.
Rokas 18th Jul 2013, 6:26 PM edit delete reply
Utterly brilliant.
Indigo Steel 18th Jul 2013, 8:17 PM edit delete reply
Indigo Steel
Agreed.
Grey 19th Jul 2013, 2:22 PM edit delete reply
I don't know what Bort's intelligence score is, but frankly, this is just one of those cases that support the fact that intelligence and cunning are two entirely different things.
aerion111 20th Jul 2013, 3:58 PM edit delete reply
aerion111
Eh, while I might see someone making a note for Wisdom/Perception instead, I'd certainly claim they need SOME kind of decent mind-stat to be able to see the options and predict how they'd react.
Vocabulary and cunning, now that's difference.
Indigo Steel 18th Jul 2013, 7:44 PM edit delete reply
Indigo Steel
In a campaign I was a part of, all party members were graduates from a hero academy, and thus only either Fighters or Magi. I was a graduate also, but I was unique in the fact that I was a Rogue.

The "Final Exam" was to slay a re-animated Skeletal Wyrm (Frost Wyrm? Can't remember). Normally, the students fought or magicked their way out. When asked how I did it, I said that all I did was hide from the Wyrm until the re-animation spell wore off! Easy!

The Captain 19th Jul 2013, 12:21 AM edit delete reply
The Captain
Reminds me of Kirk and the Kobayashi Maru, but with far less cheating and far more "The best winning move is not to play."
Super_Big_Mac 19th Jul 2013, 2:22 AM edit delete reply
Oh, ever hear of Sword Art Online? In the 5th(?) Light Novel, one revolving around a game called Gun Gale Online, this girl falls into the lowest level of a dungeon, and ends up in an arena-like area. Hiding in a small compartment (an air duct I think it was) out of the monster's range, she sniped at its sole weak spot for three hours straight until it died. Similar scenario, except she got a Hecate sniper rifle and you got a diploma.
Indigo Steel 19th Jul 2013, 8:48 PM edit delete reply
Indigo Steel
Proving once again that good things come to those who wait!
Kiranis 18th Jul 2013, 11:48 PM edit delete reply
Stab the boss while he monolouges. it worked.
mycroftxxx 23rd Jul 2013, 4:50 AM edit delete reply
No matter what character I'm playing, I cannot resist attacking the BBEG when they monologue. It's been a _problem_ on more than one occasion.
Syth 19th Jul 2013, 12:03 AM edit delete reply
Syth
Hmm, let's see. . .
In my last campaign my players were after a coven of vampires. They cast Sun Light spells that do 2d6 points of damage every round on Ioun stones, plain jane 10 gp grey stones. Time two per person, times 7 team members. Meaning they waltzed in, ripped the coffin lids off, and turned the Fell Keep of Horrors into a fricken TANNING SALON.

There was another time in my Dragoon game where they had to fight a nest of beholders. Nasty creatures, very magical and resiliant, LOTS of eyes. So they wizard carves EXPLOSIVE RUNES into a wagon and they wheel that bad boy into the cave after filling it with meat. They wait outside, as I rolled the creatures intent (nat 1) so they stupidly gather around the wagon of meat while the players are outside the cave. They wait about two minutes, hear and explosion that levels the cave and I had to reward them XP for 12 beholders and no one so much as unsheathed a dagger.

The last time is when, using an airship, they were to storm a wizards tower. Normally this would be a challenge. Wizard's homes are notoriously well guarded with all kinds of spells. I should have been more worried when the thief and the wizard are asking a lot of arcitexture and dimensions questions. They were able to figure out exactly how many gallons of oil they would need to smother the tower with windows and all. Which, after the ranger checked depth and wind, proceeded to dump on the tower like the SS Valdeez. They gave the wizard two rounds to come out and hand them a McGuffin before the barbarian chucks his torch down there and roasted the wizard in his own tower. After the wizard surrendered the team's wizard chucked a fireball at the thing just to rub it in my face. Which is why after a nasty fort save the wizard spent the next two sessions as Pogo the Chicken thanks to a Baleful Polymorph Spell.
Indigo Steel 19th Jul 2013, 8:51 PM edit delete reply
Indigo Steel
All things considered, he still got off light. Better a chicken for a while than Kentucky fried like the other guy. 8/
Amateur 19th Jul 2013, 12:03 AM edit delete reply
See, there was this dragon. And it was sleeping. So I thought that it would be a good idea to sneak up and chop its balls off. Dragon testicles have extremely useful medicinal properties.

...Guess what happened.
Raxon 19th Jul 2013, 5:38 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
The dragon was a young adult, having a bit of a 'fun' dream, and you ended up covered in something horrible?
DanielLC 19th Jul 2013, 12:22 PM edit delete reply
It turned out that Dragons, being cold blooded, have internal testicles, and you weren't prepared to surgically remove them?
Guest 19th Jul 2013, 12:35 PM edit delete reply
you got whipped in the face by ... ... ...
it was female wasn't it
The Captain 19th Jul 2013, 12:27 AM edit delete reply
The Captain
As far as successful impromptu plans go, my group once thwarted an army that was surrounding a city by quickly creating a hurricane and having the city be in the eye. The city was untouched, but the army was annihilated.

50% gale force wind, 50% pure death!
Indigo Steel 19th Jul 2013, 8:59 PM edit delete reply
Indigo Steel
100% awesome!
CBlanchard 19th Jul 2013, 11:23 AM edit delete reply
Not really a convoluted plan, but in a game of Stargate SG-1 I was running, the party was captured by some Gua'ould, and every plan they came up with was defeated by the Jafar. So, finally, one of the team members looks at everyone's inventory and said this:

"Okay, guys, here's the plan: Grenades."

After a fight that used Grenades to open it worked, that became their default plan from then on.
Panoptes 19th Jul 2013, 12:34 PM edit delete reply
On a run through the City of Golden Death pack for Pathfinder, my party was facing off against a golden golem on a bridge over a river of molten gold (goddamn, all that gold). My Halfling rogue was doing only tiny amounts of damage until the golem pinned me against the side of the bridge. As I squirmed free I decided to tie my rope around its neck and jump off the bridge, hoping I would slingshot around to the other side of the bridge. As ridiculous as the idea seemed, I rolled high, swan-dived off the bridge, and landed perfectly on the other side after swinging all the way underneath, and the entire party then pulled the golem off the bridge with the rope.

Moral of the story: sometimes stupid ideas work.
Indigo Steel 19th Jul 2013, 9:04 PM edit delete reply
Indigo Steel
Ironically, you thwarted the gold golem by performing a gold medal winning dive!
emmerlaus 19th Jul 2013, 9:05 PM edit delete reply
emmerlaus
We were playing a D&D almost epic campaign of homemade races of orcs.

I made a first character, who was a monk and a second, who was a Dragon Shaman. Each character werent dealing a lot of damages but I saved the group from a TOTAL PARTY KILL 2 times!

1) THE WINGED ORC !!!

The GM had invited a other player for a one-shot villain. That guy was extremely and obviously vengeful GM when we succeded killing his favorites NPCS or outsmarted him. Obviously, he wasn't a popular GM... or player for that matter.

Anyway, he LOVE being above the rest and create overpower NPCS. He made a bet with our GMs that he could kill our NPCs with only one round. And it COULD have work:

1) He tried to abuse our character weaknesses. I learned after the game that he manipulated a other player to know about our characters classes and such, in the GM back.

2) He was a bastard that loved twisting the rules and was manipulative enough to trick our GM for a few things, like Poisons with increased DC to resist.

3) because of bad luck, our only caster died in the encounter just before that. From the GM face (and confirmed after the game), it wasnt supposed to happen.

So to counter our characters, he made a stealthy pixie who could turn etheral and send us dimensionnal poisonous dagger to kill us while we couldn't fight back... But since our caster died, he decided to TROLL us instead and just cast spell that made him undetectable (like Greater Invisibility and so forth) and toy with us:

He decided to steal our most valuable equipement, flew away with it and hide it on upper ground. His rolls were so insane that we had almost no chance to see him... or so he thought.

We had to describe him our characters and to tell him what were the" more apparently magical items" our character possessed that he could see. When it was my turn, with a straight face, I described him it was my feathery cape, my owl shaped helmet and my glowing dagger.

The only item he could actually lift among them was the dagger... When he said that he went after it, I wroted a note to my GM... He couldnt hide his relief.

You see, the dagger was a intelligent item with who could cast Fearie Fire AT WILL !! Telepathy, my dagger warned me of the little thief so I had a surprise round against him.

First thing I do is detach my cape and shape it like a bag. When the other ask me what Im doing, I'm telling them:

" I'm catching a thief."

That was the sign for my dagger to cast Fearie Fire on the pixie, holding my dagger.

Frustrated to be caught, he argued with the GM that the fact I detached my cape was enough to make me lose my surprise round. My Gm decided to let it go.

I dont remember what he did on his turn (it was a long time ago, like 10 years) but it was pointless. It resumed as throw away my dagger and making sure to stay out of reach by flying higher and maybe getting rid of Fearie Fire.

That player didnt see my move coming... On my turn, I teleport myself right on the last spot he was, with him inside my cape made as a bag. I fallen on the ground, we took falling damage AND waiting on the ground, the other PCS smashed him inside my cape with a warhammer. Luckly enough, it hitted him and kill the character in ONE ATTACK...

That guy then calmly took his things and left, without saying a word. Yeah, that didn't help his popularity rating.

2) THE MIROR SCALE

I might have told that story before, If sorry if I did.

The second time I saved the whole group was in the same adventure, with a new character I made, a dragon shaman. We had beated a big boss with a huge hoard and our GM told us to make a lists of the items we wanted.

Me: Can we make our own items, if we follow the magic item creation rules?

GM: Sure...

And whats more, he told us there was no limit on the maximum cost of a items we would buy with that money. Its a almost epic level campaign and it was a very big loot...

On the list of items I asked was a shield, shaped a my totem dragon scale. I told them the surface was reflecting like a mirror. The group all assumed I had a Reflecting Shield and moved on.

IN the next encounter... The Gm give us a foe that he thought we could beat... but because of miscalculations, he made him too strong and only realized it during the battle. I told him its alright and that I will solve the problem during my turn.

GM: Whats your plan?

Me: You remember the shield I made?

GM: Your shield with the Reflection ability?

ME: I never said it was... "smirk"

And then, I drop the bomb: It had the same ability as a Mirror of Opposition.

That item is a item that should be ONLY in a GM and NPCS hands, never in the players hand. It summon a copy of one the foes, with all the spells, magics items and buffs it have when the item is used. Even better then that, the copy want to destroy the original at all cost and wont rest until it does so.

So yeah, I summoned 2 copy of the big boss and let yhem battle each others... After that, the GM said in relief that I saved the game... but That I cant use my shield anymore. I still wonder why O_O
AntarcticAnarchist 19th Jul 2013, 10:01 PM edit delete reply
I normally DM for my group, but this particular time I felt like playing as a player for once, so I let one of my guys take over for the first time. He makes a quick little adventure through a catacomb, and the first room has some big chasm across the middle of it, and and on the other side was a door and a lever. The lever was supposed to release a bridge that would let us cross the chasm (don't ask why the bridge control mechanism was on the opposite side of the entrance, even he didn't know.) He drops a little "hint" that we could trip the lever by hitting it with an arrow. Like I said, he had never DM'd before, and he was already showing a tendency for rail-roading, so I decide to show him how random player actions can be. I have my character (A cheap Link rip-off) try to jump the chasm while tied to an arrow he stuck in the ground. I failed the first time I tried, but having convinced everyone else in the group to try it, we all ended up hanging off the side of this inexplicable cliff in the middle of a highly-populated town's gravesite. Ultimately, since he set the skill check roll so high that we couldn't possibly have made it across the chasm, I just had our Dwarven Paladin toss a throwing hammer at the lever, and we walked across to the next room. He still hasn't really learned his lesson about rail-roading, but I think he'll get better... eventually
Bombom 20th Jul 2013, 8:06 AM edit delete reply
I know my other players and I were trying to come up with a way to take out a dragon about 10 levels above us in a D and D 4th edition fantasy campaign. Our best plan was to buy a floating castle, have only the wizard pilot it, and simultaneously crash the castle into the dragon while casting feather falling on himself. It might have worked if the DM had let us get our hands on a flying castle.

This is why my group can't have nice things.
Bombom 20th Jul 2013, 8:07 AM edit delete reply
Well, one of several reasons.
Yaskidemon 20th Jul 2013, 8:24 AM edit delete reply
So this one happened a few months ago. We were playing a Pathfinder campaign in a budding technology setting. Magic was still in abundance but flintlock guns and zeppelins are around too.

Our group had been hired to steal an artifact from a group of cultists and bring it to the city for research on its properties and possible threat. We had little information of what we were walking into, all our employer had been able to tell us was that a group of cultists were excavating something in the neighboring mountains a week's travel away. He also provided us a few NPCs to help us transport the artifact and anything else we might find.

When we finally found the site we found 20-30 cultists unearthing this stone sphere, about 20 ft in diameter. It was almost completely exposed by the time we arrived and the cultists had a large team of oxen hooked up to a wagon to transport it. We were only level 5 adventurers and taking them all on would likely have gotten us killed but our NPCs were too afraid to follow us in. The DM was subtly dropping hints that we should probably inspire them into following us into battle and use the oxen to drag the sphere away.

We promptly decided that would 1) not be heroic enough and 2) take far too much credit for the victory away from us. This is the new plan we came up with in about 15 minutes.

1) We directed the NPCs to start cutting wood and we would "be right back."
2) The three of us (one of our members had to cancel last minute) snuck back to a city we had passed through on our way to the site. The DM had mentioned we'd seen a small zeppelin anchored there when last we passed through. My gunslinger had a few points in bluff and diplomacy (and, most importantly, was female) so she lured the crew off to drink with her while the monk and wizard got onboard and cut it loose.
3) Flying it back, we took the logs cut by the NPCs and fashioned them into a large ring.
4) A few sessions ago, the DM had allowed our monk to tame a monstrous spider so we had is start spinning long strands of web to attach the ring to hang underneath the zeppelin.
5) My gunslinger had Craft:(Alchemy) for her bullets and the wizard a portable lab for his potions, so she started manufacturing as many smokesticks as she could.
6) At midnight, the zeppelin flew in over the cultists with my gunslinger dangling from the ring, throwing smokesticks left and right. She lined the ring up to encircle the artifact and then shot a flare straight into the face of the head cultist. Wizard sees the flash, casts Web down onto the ring, and takes off, pulling the now attached artifact and my character with it.
7) Since the wizard had prepared nothing but Web that day, he was able to keep recasting it just before the old one wore off. We managed to put a mile or two between us and the pursuing cultists before we set down, rolled the sphere into the ship, and took off again.

When we returned to our employer we given the NPC's shares as well seeing as we had managed to pull it off without them. We never did find out if they managed to escape the cultists.
Mooncalf 21st Jul 2013, 6:21 AM edit delete reply
My group usually went with simple, straight-forward plans, as our GM had an annoying habit of tampering with events such that no amount of tactical thinking or preparation actually provided an advantage - he said it was more interesting if the outcome is up for chance.

In an adventure with a different GM, we did carry out a pretty impressive plan. We were supposed to protect a priest in Sigil against an assassin sent by the Athar. Within half an hour, we had him sequestered in a solid rooftop building, covered every stairwell and climbing spot with razorwire, and stocked up on a ton of oil, alchemist's fire, and torches. We were ready to kill it with fire. So of course the Githyanki assassin arrives on a red dragon...

And then there was the Aberrant campain where half our team consisted of madmen. One of whom defined a good plan as "only kills a few bystanders". At an ealy point we had to meet a doctor (who was the one wanting to see us) and had to get past his receptionist. the aforementioned sociopath presents his plan: Arrange for a package to be sent to himself, so he can kill the UPS guy and take his uniform. Go inside the house across the street from the doctor's office as a UPS guy. Kill a resident on the third floor, sneak out the window on the window washer's scaffolding, kill the window washer, then use his air powers to blow himself across the street and through the doctor's window, thus making contact.

I decided immediately to carry out my own plan: walk inside, tell the receptionist I was there to deliver some medical files to the doctor, walk upstairs and meet the doctor.

Yeah.
Norakos 22nd Jul 2013, 3:37 PM edit delete reply
Warblade. Catapult. That is all.
Basil 22nd Jul 2013, 5:09 PM edit delete reply
In a pony fallout game, after being told that building a working suit of power armor out of the 10 nonworking suits would take too long, my character collected the important electronic bits and made candy power armor with licorice and lollipop sticks to reinforce it. The DM was both annoyed and impressed.
Guest 26th Dec 2013, 8:49 PM edit delete reply
Well, there was this one time in a Final Fantasy campaign (d6-based), and one of our players was min-maxing a Time Mage. For the last x0 levels, he had put so many points into the cooking skill that he literally could not roll below a 20.

Encounter: gelatinous golemsx3!
Time Mage: "Professor knows little about golems, but he knows a lot about gelatin!" (rolls cooking check: 30).
GM: "... right. The golems are now pudding pops."
Fancy Fan 5th Jan 2014, 2:31 PM edit delete reply
Instead of breaking into the wizards tower my player instead decided to hire a previously encountered earthquake dragon to, well, earthquake it down for them.