Page 263 - Lost in Transition

26th Mar 2013, 6:00 AM
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Lost in Transition
Average Rating: 5 (4 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 26th Mar 2013, 6:00 AM edit delete
Newbiespud
A lot of you pointed out that a session revolving around A Bird in the Hoof would be the most natural transition from where the last two pages left off... but I don't really think I could stretch a whole arc out of it.

Feel free to make all the alt-scripts you like for that episode in the comments, though. Prove me wrong.

107 Comments:

Raxon 26th Mar 2013, 6:01 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Cupcake secrets. The most sinister secrets of all. Just ask Pinkie Pie. Or Rainbow Da- Oh, wait, you can't.
Zuche 26th Mar 2013, 6:25 AM edit delete reply
You just had to go there, Raxon. Thank goodness there's a "Rainbow Dash Presents" interpretation of that story.
Raxon 26th Mar 2013, 6:28 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
I figured we should get it out of the way early. We all know it was going to be brought up.
Zuche 26th Mar 2013, 6:58 AM edit delete reply
...I'm not sure that's the case with the general crowd here, but I'll concede the possibility.
Digo 26th Mar 2013, 7:04 AM edit delete reply
Well it certainly wouldn't have been me. Thanks to... ugh, "cupcakes" I have a website black list 3 pages long on my daughter's computer. :)
darkwulf23 26th Mar 2013, 7:07 AM edit delete reply
darkwulf23
Here's a comic strip in which the entire mane six reads cupcakes and their various reactions. Not as good as Rainbow Dash Presents but still worth a look.

Mane six reads Cupckaes

Oh and someone show me how to set up the link to where you can click it?

Edit: OK, that worked, thanks
Digo 26th Mar 2013, 7:25 AM edit delete reply
I did read that! At least some good came from Cupcakes I suppose, eh? :)
Malroth 27th Mar 2013, 2:11 AM edit delete reply
So which was worse Researcher Twilight or cupcakes?
Digo 27th Mar 2013, 3:51 AM edit delete reply
Researcher...?
**One quick Google search later**

WAT.
CJT 27th Mar 2013, 10:58 AM edit delete reply
Researcher Twilight, for me, because it's a long enough series that she has much more time with which to do horrible things, and the comic lovingly dwells on the consequences of all of them.

I've carefully avoided going near that series again.
Raxon 26th Mar 2013, 7:29 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
You want to type [url=<internet address>] minus the <> brackets, then you type your sentence, then you end it with [/url]
nekollx 26th Mar 2013, 8:52 AM edit delete reply
nekollx
we use BB code here so wrap it in squre brackets

[ u r l = "site" ]display text[/ ur l]

On the subject though i wrote a Fic where Pinkie Pie meepts Cupcakes!PinkiePie
Guest 26th Mar 2013, 7:59 PM edit delete reply
Sorry, but that kinda sucked.
Rokas 26th Mar 2013, 8:03 AM edit delete reply
Like ripping off a self-adhesive bandage; you git it over with quickly and suffer a bit of pain immediately rather than dragging it out. Nicely done, +1 Internets.
leofidus 26th Mar 2013, 10:57 AM edit delete reply
Actually, there is a study that the overall felt pain is lower if the bandage is removed slowly. Makes sense when you think about it, taken to the extreme you would have unnoticeably small pain over a huge amount of time.
CJT 26th Mar 2013, 11:36 AM edit delete reply
When I was very young, band-aids seemed to hurt a lot more than they do now. My parents eventually settled on letting me soak it in the sink for a few minutes to soften the glue before taking it off.

I'd be tempted to suggest rubbing alcohol for that now (as the glue is probably alcohol-soluble), but that would backfire spectacularly if the wound was still open.
Rokas 26th Mar 2013, 6:51 PM edit delete reply
I love how everyone's eager to claim a "study" or something that runs counter to common knowledge without proffering a link to any sort of evidence for it.

Link or it didn't happen.
Zuche 27th Mar 2013, 3:27 AM edit delete reply
I love how wannabe tough guys are always eager with sadistic advice about ripping bandages off being better. May as well try to cure a headache by punching yourself in the head.
Rokas 28th Mar 2013, 5:28 AM edit delete reply
Now that is a false analogy and you know it. If you can't offer an argument without hyperbole, then don't expect anyone to take you seriously.
guy 7th May 2014, 8:29 PM edit delete reply
I love how this went from being a conversation about mind scarring fan fiction to being about adhesive bandages.
No, really. Zero sarcasm. This place can be refreshingly wholesome, especially for the internet, and I for one, am extremely thankful for that.
Raxon 26th Mar 2013, 3:31 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
I don't use self adhesive bandages. They fall off too easily, and the wound gets infected. I just seal it with superglue, and get back to what I was doing.
darkwulf23 26th Mar 2013, 6:51 PM edit delete reply
darkwulf23
Actually that's what superglue originally is for. It was designed as a alternative to stitches. Anyway you don't want the band aid to hurt, take an alcohol pad and rub it where the adhesive meets bare skin as you slowly peal it off, watching out for the wound. Learned that trick as a medic where we had to use a lot of medical tape.
Guest 26th Mar 2013, 9:39 PM edit delete reply
Did no one just leave it on until it unstuck itself in the shower?

Also, Raxon, how do you know if you have the superglue that's safe to use on a wound? I know some types of superglue decay into formaldehyde.
Raxon 27th Mar 2013, 6:03 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
I have a preferred brand that is safe. Loctite is plenty safe, but there's a trick to it. You have to squeeze the wound shut, and put a drop of the glue over the wound. That will seal it shut, without getting much of it in the wound. Pouring the glue in the wound and then closing it is stupid. It's all in the method. If you feel a warmth going through an area greater than the wound itself, you did it wrong. Oh so very wrong.
CJT 26th Mar 2013, 11:42 AM edit delete reply
I'd carefully avoided mentioning the fic in most of the previous threads where it could have come up.

That said, while it's not a genre I particularly like, I'm not sure what the fuss is about. I even made a few attempts at baking "I-can't-believe-it's-not-pegasus" cupcakes IRL just to lampoon the subject. No, the pictures aren't online yet (never did get the filling coming out right).

(I'm still working on getting a filling that's sufficiently meat-like to properly squick the audience; stage blood by itself tends to settle too much, and I got tired of the project before further experiments were completed. Best approach I can see is to make thick pudding with it, dice that to simulate meat cubes, and mix _that_ with the relevant part of the batter, but that'd still result in cupcakes that had to be baked at least twice to prevent unwanted mixing.)
Raxon 26th Mar 2013, 8:02 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Mincemeat can be used for cookies. No reason you can't use it to make cupcakes.
CJT 26th Mar 2013, 9:28 PM edit delete reply
I could, but part of the fun is trying to make something deeply disturbing using only innocuous materials.

Tasting like meat (or even just savory) could actually be a downside, as with a more dessert-type taste, the quick is a bigger surprise. An ideal taster-scenario would go along the lines of, "This tastes good but has a weird texture and what's that running down my OH DEAR LORD!".

Sadly, even if I did finish the recipe now I'd be a couple of years too late for optimum effect.
Raxon 26th Mar 2013, 9:47 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Ever heard of honey glazed ham?

Pork takes on the flavors of whatever you marinate it in. A little dye, some sweetened, chopped(but not shredded) pork, and frosting, and you have some tasty, sweet treats that people won't realize has meat until they detect the hidden texture.

Incidentally, I recommend corn syrup as the sweetener, with a bit of molasses for flavor. It might surprise you.
CJT 27th Mar 2013, 11:01 AM edit delete reply
I've enjoyed honey-mustard pork, but per the first part of my response, I'd consider using actual meat to be cheating.

"Innocuous materials" in this context is things you'd normally expect in a cupcake. Stage blood is just corn syrup and food dye (mostly), and pudding-blood just adds corn starch to that.

(Not to be confused with "blood pudding".)
Belexar 26th Mar 2013, 10:47 PM edit delete reply
And Rocket To Insanty, which had a really nice Poesque feeling to it.
Guest 27th Mar 2013, 10:23 AM edit delete reply
"You gotta sing a song to try and win back Dash's heart! Oh my gosh, this fic is so awesome!"
Walabio 26th Mar 2013, 6:53 AM edit delete reply
¡Nothing like a Dash of RainBow in the cupcakes!
Bronymous 26th Mar 2013, 12:16 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Cupcakes is still one of the best fanfics I've ever read.It's a good masculinity balance for an early Brony, and a good counter to the sugar of the actual show any time after that. Why would I want to read a fic where everyone are friends and everything's fine, when I can go watch an actual episode that does that, but with better writing and voice actors?
HMorris73 26th Mar 2013, 2:01 PM edit delete reply
I'm not a fan of the fic itself, but the "Psycho Pinkie" meme it spawned (especially once Party of One aired and people started drawing a connection between the two) helped get me interested in the show. So I'm grateful for that at least.
Theo 26th Mar 2013, 12:48 PM edit delete reply
You know, I thought it Cupcakes was rather tame really. Only squicky because of the setting, not for the content.
Rahal 27th Mar 2013, 4:20 PM edit delete reply
Funny you should mention mincemeat since a number of food manufacturers here in the UK have been trying to pass off Horse meat as 100% Beef Mincemeat. Some packets were found to have contained 100% Horsemeat.

This trope sprang to mind in the UK's Brony Community given the Grimdark fanfics out there that have characters reduces to the sort of consistency of mincemeat or served to other characters: tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HarsherInHindsight
Raxon 27th Mar 2013, 4:51 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
That's certainly unethical, but I don't really understand why people show such an aversion to horse meat. Haven't you ever had rocky mountain oysters? Cow, pig, chicken, horse, dog, rat, I have yet to sample a meat, or almost any food, that can't be made delicious. Lutefisk doesn't count because lye is not food.

Hey, don't knock it. Just because I identify as vegetarian, that doesn't mean I don't eat meat. After all, just because a person is born male, that doesn't necessarily mean I... I mean they identify as male.
Zuche 28th Mar 2013, 4:47 AM edit delete reply
The aversion is based on how a culture views an animal. If people raise horses, cats, or dogs as companions, they're less likely to find it acceptable to eat the animal in question almost to the point of bordering on cannibalism. That's it own taboo and can we please not carry the discussion on to that point? Just pretend we had a long talk on the subject of prions and leave it at that.
Rahal 28th Mar 2013, 6:12 PM edit delete reply
Actually in the UK Horse Meat isn't graded for human consumption so there are no restrictions on the kinds of drugs used to treat horses.

Basically the controversy was because people's burgers might have contained lethal doses of Ketamine. Oh and fraud.
Digo 26th Mar 2013, 6:15 AM edit delete reply
I love passing secret notes to players. It prevents metagaming and sows paranoia in the group. Especially when the contents of the note I gave say something like "Act surprised when you read this, I'm just messing with the other players." :D
Raxon 26th Mar 2013, 6:32 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
You want to know how to enhance the experience? Pass notes on brightly colored 3x5 cards.

It calls attention to them, and the bright colors make people cautious. Then, every now and then, slip a player a note on plain white paper. Watch the others freak out.
NR 26th Mar 2013, 6:39 AM edit delete reply
Heh, heh, that sounds like a really fun and hilarious idea! I'll admit though, I'd freak out a little too if that were the case.
Digo 26th Mar 2013, 7:07 AM edit delete reply
I'm one step ahead of you two steps to the up-forward-back position and just a jump to the left! I've got THREE bright colors that I use: Hot Pink, Blinding Yellow, and Neon White! :D
Zuche 26th Mar 2013, 6:38 AM edit delete reply
I would use that option if I wasn't such a slow, meticulous writer. At least people seem to think my handwriting is more impressive than that of most of you dextrous types. Maybe I should start writing these things out in advance.

Oooh, thanks for the suggestion, Raxon.
Raxon 26th Mar 2013, 6:48 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
My pleasure. I know a thing or two about rampant paranoia. Just ask Zarhon. He's been keeping extensive files on me, and he wiretapped my popcorn popper. I'm a rat, I'm a rat, I'm a clever, clever rat.

Oh obscure references, you've never let me down.
chinlamp 26th Mar 2013, 6:59 AM edit delete reply
How is Bananas in Pyjamas an obscure reference?

Also, any examples of what was on those bright notes and what was on the white ones? Were the bright ones just silly commentary on the story or actual plot points and such?

Mainly asking because at the local gaming store, if it isn't D&D, I'm the GM (which sucks to high heaven but whatever) and I want ways to screw with people.
Raxon 26th Mar 2013, 7:27 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
It's quite simple. In the course of a session, make sure you pass each player a brightly colored card, detailing something ominous they notice, but nobody else notices. It could be concerning the actions of other characters, it could be a unique scar on an NPC, it could be an unsettling symbol etched onto a wall near a corpse. They don't necessarily have to lead anywhere, but you might want to have a little sideplot ready for each one. You can even use this to split the party. Be sure to keep your poker face up. Finally, when you hand out a plain white paper note, smile a little bit. Maybe chuckle a little bit.

My obscure reference was to a small story arc in a webcomic called help desk. It's the one where Mark has an allergic reaction to his happy pills and goes psychotic and paranoid. And now I can say that it was subtle, too.
Malroth 28th Mar 2013, 2:11 AM edit delete reply
I believe at least (DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS) members of your troubleshooting group are (circle one) Communists/Mutants/Traitors. Please discreetly observe them for evidence of their treasonous activity and (circle one) Report them to your supervisor/Apprehend them/terminate them immediately.

Sincerely Your Friend the Computer.
Ace the Eagle 27th Mar 2013, 2:35 AM edit delete reply
I once passed the group's cleric a note that said " Gasp silently, look nervously at everyone, roll a d20, write the number down and give the note back. If you do this correctly you get an extra slice of pizza "
I have that note with me to this day
I alsoused the number to determine what trap they would face before the boss
it was 13 so gelatinous cube
which was more difficult then the boss half the party couldnt attack it without losing limbs or weapons
Chakat Firepaw 27th Mar 2013, 4:39 PM edit delete reply
It's often more effective to not have the fake note be obviously fake. That way the player you give the note to also has to wonder what the note is about, (and can get all sorts of paranoid), while he can't tip off the others to it being nothing but a fake.

Consider using something like: "You feel lightheaded for a moment. Make a Will save and pass back the result." If you want to be really mean, follow it up by giving him a sealed note that says "open when you are next in combat."
Raxon 27th Mar 2013, 4:54 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Good call. I also like the concept of a note that says, "Do not open until you sleep."

That would be a great time to reveal that the character has contracted somnia CBD, and will begins stabbing people while they sleepwalk.

The treatment is to sleep with a rubber knife.

Alternatively, a fun thing is the have the note say, "Start swearing. I'll let you know when to stop."
Ace the Eagle 28th Mar 2013, 1:00 AM edit delete reply
OBVIOUSLY FAKE!?!?
It managed to fool the entire group.
At the end I showed the note to every one and our mage was offened that she "sowed seeds of paranoia and deciet" for a slice of pi
Our ranger said he would have done the same thing.
Chakat Firepaw 30th Mar 2013, 11:17 AM edit delete reply
I was referring to fake notes that reveal to the player receiving them that they aren't really about anything, (as opposed to ones the group as a whole knows is fake). "React to this note by doing X," is even one of the classic examples of a fake note.
Kaze Koichi 26th Mar 2013, 6:58 AM edit delete reply
I'm mostly amazed how DM came up with idea to pass a note IN CHARACTER. Magnificent bastard.
Zuche 26th Mar 2013, 6:59 AM edit delete reply
How did I miss that? Nice touch. Thanks for pointing it out, Kaze Koichi.
Giggle Tail 26th Mar 2013, 7:06 AM edit delete reply
Giggle Tail
Challenge accepted. I'll gladly prove you wrong as soon as I have the time. For now I've got homework to get to.

EDIT: Alright, let's see.....

Everypony is enjoying the party, and the DM tells Fluttershy's player that she spots Celestia's pet bird in a cage next to her. It doesn't look well. When Fluttershy asks Princess Celestia about it, she assures her she's fine. Fluttershy is at first willing to just trust her on this, but then the DM says she starts coughing horrendously, so Fluttershy makes a sleight of hands check to swipe the bird and take it back to her cottage to nurse back to health (just as the DM was hoping for). She rolls a natural 20 (which he was not expecting). Time skip to later, when news has gotten out about the Princess's pet bird having gone missing. While the rest of the party is out searching for it, Twilight goes to ask Fluttershy if she's seen her. Upon finding out Fluttershy stole her, Twilight begins trying to convince her to return the Princess's pet. Meanwhile, the rest of the party continues their search.

That seems like a good start, I think.
Mudpony 26th Mar 2013, 10:54 AM edit delete reply
As opposed to the DM hoping for it, it strikes me more as a bit background flavor that the Fluttershy player will latch onto and then derail the DM's attempt at post derail story telling. Can you derail what the DM is making up on the fly?

The problem you will run into is that the story focuses on Twi and Fluttershy, leaving the rest with little to do. You'd need to interweave it with another episode or two, that doesn't include Twi and Fluttershy much, as the DM has to deal with a split party. Could go hog-wild with that, mixing Griffon the Brush Off (Dash and Pinkie... bored players, decide to go pranking) and Sister Hooves Social (Rarity and AJ, also bored, so they both decide to spend time with their sisters)... but would that translate well to the comic strip?
Ace the Eagle 27th Mar 2013, 2:42 AM edit delete reply
NEVER SPLIT THE PARTY ugh I still have headaches from that session
I split the party so half was going down the west hallway the other the east and I had to keep going back between the 2 groups and ugh my head wheres the pepsi
Digo 27th Mar 2013, 3:53 AM edit delete reply
My group never likes to split the party because they always seem to have the worst luck when they do. It's nothing I cause, either!
They just... seem to make poor decisions and their dice rolls get worse the more they split up.

Giggle Tail 27th Mar 2013, 7:07 AM edit delete reply
Giggle Tail
I'm not sure we've ever split the party in our group. It's not a tactical decision, we just haven't had a reason to yet.
Other Guest 26th Mar 2013, 7:09 AM edit delete reply
Rarity, gather 100 gems during this session and I will raise you up a level. How you do it is up to you....
Nixitur 26th Mar 2013, 9:22 PM edit delete reply
Your mission, Rarity, should you choose to accept it...
Rokas 26th Mar 2013, 8:04 AM edit delete reply
Applejack's player IS a bit of a nosy Nelly, ain't she? I like how Rarity is tweaking her nose here.
Lyntermas 26th Mar 2013, 9:02 AM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Yeah, I'm guessing Rarity and AJ have played enough games together that she predict AJ's "little habit".

Oh, I just realized that this kind of rapport could be how "Look Before You Sleep" could be VERY interesting. Two D&D veterans going to war during a "slumber party", with the poor newbie in the middle.
Digo 26th Mar 2013, 10:57 AM edit delete reply
This was the situation when Myself and the other Shadowrun veteran started in an adventure with a novice to the Shadowrun universe.
There was quite a few "hush and let the big runners talk" when a debate got started. XD

but it was all good, we got that new player acclimated quite quickly.
Kynrasian 26th Mar 2013, 7:52 PM edit delete reply
Kynrasian
Perhaps that's our story for this panel then? Describe a habit you or another player possesses and provide a story of a time when it popped up in a similar manner.

Mine is my tendency to cast fire-based spells without taking the surroundings into account. Normally someone else then asks, "Is there anything flammable nearby." Last session was the first time ever I've used a fire spell and not set the encounter area on fire, although in the last encounter that MAY have been because the camp was already on fire anyway from torches that had been thrown at it.
Digo 27th Mar 2013, 3:58 AM edit delete reply
We have party members that tend to charge into battle without first surveying the ground for hazards or what the enemy is equipped with.

It tends to lead to a very painful first round :)
Kynrasian 27th Mar 2013, 6:20 PM edit delete reply
Kynrasian
Oh, that's our other running gag. It's not one that does too well without illustration, but it began when I was first in initiative order in an encounter and immediately took one step forwards and set off a pitfall trap.

I proceeded to remain in this trap until the goblins the rest of the party was fighting were all dead. I was fighting rats and had a -2 to attack rolls for a reason I can't remember. I got so hacked off by the end that I used my breath weapon, which regenerates per-encounter anyway, only to find that had I done that at the beginning I'd have been released sooner.

Then after the first encounter in our D&D Next playtest I set off another one and decide to stay down there once I find out that there's rats coming.

Both times my co-DM's elf could've probably spotted them if I hadn't blundered into them before they had the chance.

But the phrase we use for this gag is simply: "Spots traps; finds traps"
Malroth 28th Mar 2013, 2:17 AM edit delete reply
As a player I tend to be excessively paranoid about what the next encounter might hold so I always wind up only casting spells when absolutely necessary and then using only the lowest lv spell that will work in that situation and instead using at will spell like abilities for every possible use even if it means barring the door shut and winning by spamming cantrips through the lock.
Rokas 28th Mar 2013, 5:43 AM edit delete reply
A habit one possesses? Well, the one lady who likes being the diplomancer in our little homebrew sci-fi game loves to lightly bap people over the head whenever we make a pun, or joke about doing something awful like leaving a disabled ship without help.

Then there's my character, who likes to hide chocolate bars around the spaceship so that he can keep the felinoid science officer from stealing them when she's on her 'nip high.
Theo 26th Mar 2013, 9:01 AM edit delete reply
I can't help but be distracted by the cupcakes... anyone have a good recipe for them?
CJT 26th Mar 2013, 11:51 AM edit delete reply
I normally just use mixes, being lazy. I'll sometimes modify them (per above), but it's still easier than baking from scratch.

For cupcakes like the ones in the frame grab above, I'd go with a standard cake mix, vanilla icing with green food dye, and the sweetest apples I could find (most are too tart; maybe roll the slices in brown sugar before putting them on the cupcakes). Bake the cupcakes, then add the icing and apple chunks after you're done.

Remember to pick up those little paper cups they're baked in, too. I forgot this _once_, and that was enough (cupcakes and muffins will stick to the tin even if the tin is greased; that's what the paper cups prevent).

Also bear in mind that you'll have to reduce the baking time on the cupcakes, as they'll heat up faster than a full cake will. Most cake mix packages have directions for this already, so you should be fine.

Enjoy, and post photos!
CJT 26th Mar 2013, 12:38 PM edit delete reply
A couple of things I'd forgotten:

- Full-size apple wedges will be too big for cupcakes. I suggest cutting thick apple wedges, and then cutting them again crosswise to make small apple triangles. Those should work quite nicely. Remember to cut the cores out of the wedges, too. Seeds look great in an illustration, but cores and seeds aren't tasty.

- To get the icing looking swirly (like in the frame grab), you'll need a pastry funnel. You can make this very easily by taking a sheet of waxed paper, folding it in half three times (to make a cone), and cutting off the tip. Put a few spoonfuls of icing into the bottom, and squeeze the top, to extrude icing. That said, a real pastry funnel is much _nicer_ to use. If I were making these myself, I'd just ice them normally and then put a spoonful on top that I swirl with the spoon. It won't look as fancy, but we've already established that I'm a lazy chef.
Theo 26th Mar 2013, 12:46 PM edit delete reply
I'll have to give that a try all around. :) I've never used the paper cups for my muffins, but I would for this... oh, and for the pastry funnel, if you get the nibs you can just use a zip log baggy with them instead of the whole funnel (at least according to Alton)
CJT 26th Mar 2013, 2:12 PM edit delete reply
Once upon a time I had pastry funnel nibs, but I haven't seen them in about 30 years. No clue where they are now (might or might not have been discarded during a move).

I'd thought about picking up new ones, but I don't use them often enough to justify the storage hassle for the time being.
Raxon 26th Mar 2013, 1:12 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
I dunno about cupcakes, but I have a recipe for something called muffin bowls. It takes one of these types of pouches of muffin mix. Any such pouch will work just fine. No need for egg or milk, water will do fine instead. Put the mix and water in a large-ish paper bowl, stir thoroughly, then put it in the microwave for six minutes at 60% power, then one minute at full power. What you get is a massive breakfast muffin that can be snacked on all day. This recipe can also be used for biscuit, cookie, and cornbread mixes coming in the same size packages. Some experimentation may be required based on your microwave power level. I think mine is a 1000 or 1200 watt microwave oven. You may prefer different cooking times.

And now I'm hungry. Time for some vegetarian chicken noodle soup, with extra chicken!
CJT 26th Mar 2013, 2:17 PM edit delete reply
You know, just because I want to see what you're like on the stuff (or who else you trick into drinking it), here's the recipe for the vile substance I used to drink during gaming nights when I was in high school:

- 1 part coffee grounds (wimps use instant)
- 1 part sugar
- 2 parts chocolate syrup
- 4 parts milk

Stir it, drink it before it settles, and try not to breathe through your nose during this process (it makes it taste even worse).

My record is bringing a 2L pitcher of it to the game. A glass of it would wake me up for about 10 minutes before I'd get drowsy again. Having something to eat with it reduces the chance of stomach-ache.

I've since switched to "sleep" instead of this. Tried it again for nostalgia's sake, couldn't understand how I'd ever been able to drink it in the first place.

Nobody else at those gaming sessions would touch it, except for the DM, who poured some on a plate and ate it with a _fork_.

I more recently made an improvised version of it for a friend-of-a-friend at a con. They reported that they could taste it for the whole flight home.

The recipe is from an old BBSing acquaintance by the name of "Bad Form".
Theo 26th Mar 2013, 2:33 PM edit delete reply
It's not that bad other then the coffee grounds... that's a bit hard cord for me (and I'm the sort of guy who LOVES his coffee). Other then that, I can see how it could work as wake up juice.

On the other hand, 10 minutes is hardly much 'wake up' for something like that... did you even thing of trying chocolate covered coffee beans?
CJT 26th Mar 2013, 2:42 PM edit delete reply
I've tried them once or twice, but I've always hated the taste of coffee (love the smell, though). My drink of choice now is tea (though I have to be careful about how late in the afternoon I drink it if I want to get to sleep).

The reason it only woke me up for about 10 minutes at a time was because in high school I had an absurd caffeine tolerance and a habit of staying up too late. The friend who gave the recipe asked me what he could try now that that had stopped working for him (I'd previously made posts about possibly buying reagent-grade caffine powder). I took one look, and told him that if that wasn't working as-is, he'd be better off just sleeping.

Mostly I'm curious as to what wired-Raxon would be like.

Bringing things back to ponies, Princess Luna is introduced to coffee fairly early on in "Scootamom", with entertaining results. Fun fic on several fronts (which I much prefer over the parts where it tries to be serious).
Raxon 26th Mar 2013, 3:29 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
You call that vile? I have a substance that will wake you, and you shall never sleep again! I call it... Tobascocoa!

- 3 parts hot cocoa mix
- 1 part tobasco sauce (or hotter, if you dare.)
- 5 parts water (not milk)

Mix the cocoa mix and hot sauce together until it forms a thick paste. Then, add the water and stir. Microwave it for a couple minutes at a time, until hot. Stir again until mixture is uniform.

Drink slowly, and pray to whatever god you serve that nobody makes you laugh while you drink it, for if they do, you shall know hell.

I also have cocoaramen, cocoa chili, and The Head Cold Cure.

I can actually attest to cocoaramen being not that bad. It's just some cup noodles with a pack of hot cocoa mix added. Then again, I have a stomach of scrap iron.

The cocoa chili isn't half bad, either.
CJT 26th Mar 2013, 4:05 PM edit delete reply
I'm told that hot peppers and chocolate go well together. The capsaicin is fat-soluble, so it turns into "stealth-heat".

I'm not sure how useful either would be in a wake-up drink, however. Even straight cocoa doesn't have a ridiculous amount of theobromine, and hot sauce mainly causes discomfort instead of wakefulness. I'll grant that cocoa is tastier than coffee grounds.

Could make a fun prank, though, and I certainly agree about hot foods helping with cold congestion (hot and sour soup remains one of my favourites for that).
Theo 26th Mar 2013, 4:13 PM edit delete reply
I'm not good with hot things... I'm overly sensitive to capsaicin.

As for coffee in the MLP world, might be something fun to add into my fic when I get a chance. Maybe have it be a griffon thing.
CJT 26th Mar 2013, 7:41 PM edit delete reply
Heh. "Princesses Don't Potty" had a brief gag about gryphon cuisine. Luna had a "delicacy" of theirs centuries ago... and complains that she can still taste it. Based on a real food, too (just aged for a bit longer).
NeutralDemon 28th Mar 2013, 1:05 AM edit delete reply
Griffons eat horses ... oh now I get it.
Which is weird cause hippogriffs are horse griffon hybrids.
That's what I playing with your food
CJT 28th Mar 2013, 8:24 AM edit delete reply
The one in PDP wasn't something ponies wouldn't eat; it just tasted horrible (an "acquired taste").

My DM in the Pathfinder campaign had to try the RL counterpart to it while on a business trip in Asia. Suffice it to say that he and Luna had roughly the same reaction to it.
nekollx 26th Mar 2013, 5:53 PM edit delete reply
nekollx
I call your Cocoaramen and raise you the Chocolate Heart Attack. If you don't have debeties before trying it you will after, and you'll adicted to it like a cigerette, un able to put it down, even. You'll sell your sibling for another one.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

1 Package of Pepermint cookie dough
2 Belgin cholocate bars, i like the pear/apple kind
a cup of milk
A couple table spoons of sugar
Chicolate Frosting
Vanilla Ice cream

Bake the cookies in a muffin tin, when you remove from the oven after about 10-20 minutes they should have sunken creating a hole in the center. That's goood, that's intentional.

Set aside and let them cool/harden

Mix the chocolate bars, milk, and sugar and a pot until they melt.

Pour INTO the crater in the cookie-muffin.

Let harder, works best if you stick in the freeze for about 20 mins.

Apply the frosting.

Now set a scope of ice cream on top.

Prepare you insiline perscription.

Enjoy
CJT 26th Mar 2013, 7:46 PM edit delete reply
The most addictive chocolate filling I've found so far was from a "chocolate caramel tarts" recipe (not worth it to make those - you spend an entire day doing it).

The chocolate filling part, though, was easy. Melt bakers' chocolate, and mix it 1:1 with sweetened condensed milk.

You wind up with something with as much chocolate and sugar as any candy bar, that's just non-sweet enough that you can eat it straight and still enjoy it many spoonfuls later. Dangerous stuff, especially since it's affordable, quick to make, and you usually get the ingredients in quantity.

I suppose a tub of chocolate icing would work too, but that's a bit too sweet to binge on. Thankfully other factors prevent me from eating either one of these now, or I'd be a few pounds heavier.
Xuncu 27th Mar 2013, 3:11 AM edit delete reply
Preeeeeeety sure the Aztecs have you beat by, like, several centuries.
Walabio 27th Mar 2013, 12:32 AM edit delete reply
Ditzy Doo would like your giant breakfast-muffin.
Raxon 27th Mar 2013, 5:21 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
She totally would.

Incidentally, CJT wanted to know what I'm like when I'm wired. Are you familiar with Ray Ray from The Life and Times of Juniper Lee?

If not, you need to go buy it on iTunes. Right now. All of it. Because it's awesome.
Lyntermas 26th Mar 2013, 10:42 AM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Well, if nothing else, I can be proud to know that the term "alt-scripts" has made into the official FiD lexicon.
Digo 26th Mar 2013, 1:45 PM edit delete reply
Expanding your vocabulary is very important!
Raxon 26th Mar 2013, 4:36 PM edit delete reply
Stairc 26th Mar 2013, 2:22 PM edit delete reply
Stairc
Why make a whole arc out of Bird in the Hoof? Why not just have it be a fast-paced event like the parsprites? The momentum of this new arc is great - notably because it doesn't tie itself just to a single episode.
Newbiespud 26th Mar 2013, 2:45 PM edit delete reply
Newbiespud
That's the idea I've been slowly warming up to for the last couple of weeks.
Theo 26th Mar 2013, 4:17 PM edit delete reply
I wonder how much Fluttershy is in Dog and Pony Show... it would be interesting if she's off doing Bird in the Hoof while the rest are over saving Rarity.
NeutralDemon 26th Mar 2013, 5:32 PM edit delete reply
If I found a note with for:me hidden in cupcakes
I'd freak out and have everyones eyes on me then have the mage magehand it open ( incase it's trapped ) then read it also the muscle guy would be at the door constantly that way I trap the notewriter so if it's a threat we have a new punching bag
CJT 26th Mar 2013, 7:51 PM edit delete reply
Heh.

I was briefly in a very-high-level Realms campaign, long ago. This is the one where I was told to start with one Wish already made in char-gen.

The main adversary, at least for the start of it, was a super-wizard named Melvin. Only his signature was usually read as, "Melvin... *BOOOM!*".

You'd be amazed how many times we fell for that, when messengers came up to us with scrolls while we were distracted by other things.
Ranubis 26th Mar 2013, 7:44 PM edit delete reply
Ranubis
DM, thinking: *Alright, so now the Parasprite idea has been destroyed, what can I do now? What can possibly come from having the Princess-*

FS: "Um, excuse me? Sorry to interrupt your planning, but I wanted to ask… um, I remembered that Fluttershy had that bird choir in the first session, are they still hanging around? In case they helped me with my rolls, or something…”

DM: *Oh great, RD and AJ really are corrupting her.* “Uh, no, I don’t think so. They’d probably, um, still be south for the winter.”

FS: “Oh, shoot. So if I wanted to get another bird choir now I’d have to build it from scratch? Is there anywhere in Ponyville I could find some birds?”

DM: “Find more birds? In Ponyville? Well, I don’t think-“ *Wait. Waitwaitwait. Idea!*

DM: “…aaaactually, there is a bird in Ponyville right now. One that’s quite rare, in fact…”

FS: “Really? Where?”

***

AJ: “Uh, sugarcube? What the hay are you doing?”

FS: “Oh, this plan is just great! It would be one thing to have a choir of regular birds to boost my rolls, but a phoenix? All I have to do is train Philomena to work with me, use her to boost a few difficult rolls and get some extra XP while Rarity’s off doing her gem hunt, and get her back to Princess Celestia without getting caught!”

RD: “Right on, Fluttershy! This is going to be awesome!”

TS: “No! No, it’s not going to be awesome, it’s going to be awful! Do you have any idea what will happen if Celestia finds out about this? An extra level or two won’t be that much help in jail!”

Rarity: “Well, actually, if she puts some points into Dexterity, she could probably break out and-“

TS: “Not. Helping.”

AJ: “Well, I’d be game to try something like this out normally, but did you see the look on the DM’s face when you took the bird? They’re up to something, I just can’t put my hoof on what.”

TS: “Ugh, fine. Whatever. You say that you can do this and make it look like nothing happened?”

FS: “Of course. I-“

DM: “Excuse me. Fluttershy, I need you to make a Heal check.”

FS: “What? Why?”

DM: “Because Philomena is now on the ground, not breathing, and blue.”

TS: “*%*)#%!”

DM: “And remember, you ‘borrowed’ Philomena when she was looking fairly sickly, but subdued. Think you’ll be able to sneak a regenerated Phoenix back without getting caught?”

FS: “…oh dear.”

RD: “Less awesome.”
NeutralDemon 26th Mar 2013, 7:50 PM edit delete reply
that would be 20% cooler
Zarhon 26th Mar 2013, 9:30 PM edit delete reply
Zarhon
RY: Alright, I'd like to make small-talk with the owners of the establishment, the Cakes, I believe?

DM: Sure, go ahead.

*Rarity hands DM a note*

Note: While I'm talking and distracting them, I'd like to slip a bit of the "gift" I just got into one of the small treats they are serving the princess.

DM: Alright then, Rarity, roll your stuff to converse. Everyone else, roll perception.

AJ: Is Rarity doing sneaky stuff again?

RY: What-EVER would make you think such a thing?

AJ: Blast, can't do anything with that roll.

RD: Nada.

TS: 14 good enough? Probably not.

PP: Cant roll - too busy with eating this cupcake the Princess had!

TS: ...You're banned from going near the Princess without supervision. Ever.

FS: Oooh, a nat20!

DM: Alright, Fluttershy, you notice Rarity un-cork a vial and pour it one of the treats.

RD: Already?

AJ: Again? You always do this!

FS: Uhm, why were you hiding that, vial exactly? What did you pour onto that treat? Condiments?

PP: Oh silly Fluttershy, why it's poison, of course!

FS: ...what.

RY: Please! As if I would stoop to regicide for my own personal affairs and benefits! This is merely an utterly non-toxic, magical solution.

TS: What kind of "solution"?

RY: Oh, you know, nothing special... Just a mixture of a charm, suggestion and a few other similar effect. With no will save.

AJ: What?! That's full-blown evil! How did you even get such potion?

RY: It's not evil! It is completely legal - At least, in the country it was produced in. It cost a fair amount of dime!

FS: Oh my! Well, I'm sorry Rarity, but I have to warn the princess...

RY: You can't, I'm afraid. You don't know what I poured onto that treat - in character, at least. For all you know, the thing I poured was condiments, and you have no reason to suspect me of anything, well, "criminal", in character.

FS: What if I taste the treat myself, maybe I can-

AJ, RD, PP: NO!!!

FS: Eep! Why not?

AJ: If it's actually containing a charm spell, you'd be placed under it...

PP: ...and then Rarity would make you not report it to the Princess!

RD: Heck, it might even be poisoned!

FS: I see... What if I switched the food with something else? Can I do that?

DM: Hmmm... Sure, go ahead. Stealth check.

FS: Is an 18 enough?

DM: Yes. You successfully take the treat of the same type on a plate, and switch it out with the one placed for the Princess, while Rarity isn't looking.

RY: Oh blast it. That thing cost a fortune, you know! Well played, Fluttershy. Well played.

DM: Alright, what do you do with the "compromised" bagel?

FS: Well, I guess it would be bad to have anypony eat this... I want to mix it in with some of the other foods that nopony is eating. Is there any such around here?

DM: Well, there IS a bowl full of breadcrumbs and some weird, ugly looking grain on one of the tables.

FS: Okay, I'll tear the treat into small pieces and put it into the bowl, hiding it under the ugly-looking treats.

TS: Good thinking!

DM: Alright, you do that. Roll perception.

FS: Uhm, okay.... This good enough?

DM: You notice one of the princess's guards take the bowl away. Soon, he returns, and it appears to be empty.

FS: Oh my, someone ate that? I ask the guard for who the bowl was.

Guard: "This? Just some scraps of leftover food for the Princesses' prized pet avian, Philomena."

RD: Uh oh.

PP: Relax, it's just a charm potion, what's the worst that could happen? It's not like she can usurp a kingdom with a bird under her control!

DM: Suddenly, a guard arrives, carrying a cage, labeled "Philomena". In it is a bird that could be mistaken for a newly-hatched baby chick, were it not obviously an adult of full size: its plumage is nearly non-existent, showing its ugly, bare skin. Most of its orange feathers are littered at the bottom of the cage. The bird itself is coughing and hacking violently, its eyes have a rather vacant stare, and its head is tilted upside-down downwards.

FS: ...I'm in trouble, aren't I?
sunbeam 27th Mar 2013, 6:29 AM edit delete reply
Yay! You used my line!
Guest 26th Mar 2013, 11:20 PM edit delete reply
You could probably get 2-3 strips of non-Fluttershy ponies just managing the party. Then, cut to Fluttershy already in progress. The rest of the party look for her, hijinks ensue. No matter what you do, though, keep the part where Celestia tricks the cakes into filling her already full cup. that was hilarious. Also, pinky pie trying to party way to hard is a good distraction for everyone else while Fluttershy passes the DM notes.
Xuncu 27th Mar 2013, 3:14 AM edit delete reply
Rewright Bird in the Hoof, hm? Lesse...

"Celestia had kept peace with the Bird People for quite some time, but agents within their government grew powerhungry and restless. Thinking the turmoil of a returned second princess made Equestria ripe for attack, they made their move... All would change, the day the Fire Nation attacked."
Stairc 27th Mar 2013, 12:27 PM edit delete reply
Stairc
I'm surprised more people aren't taking the, "Fluttershy got a nat one on her heal check" approach. Perhaps Celestia could have actually asked her to take a look at the bird as a minor roleplaying moment, the DM trying to have the ruler acknowledge the character's skills, and Fluttershy takes her away to preform some routine treatment... And rolls the fatal 1. Everyone would freak
Zuche 28th Mar 2013, 4:52 AM edit delete reply
I have an aversion to basing the continuation of a story on a die roll, though I'll admit it can be used to good effect.
Artsy 30th Mar 2013, 8:32 AM edit delete reply
Ooo, here comes my favorite episode!