Page 744 - Fitness Finesse

28th Apr 2016, 6:00 AM
Fitness Finesse
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 28th Apr 2016, 6:00 AM edit delete
Newbiespud
Players proposing wild, nonsensical solutions that happen to involve cupcakes?

No. Never.

43 Comments:

Digo Dragon 28th Apr 2016, 6:03 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
I've found that lard is actually a much more sensical solution to several types of problems. :D
Zaranthan 28th Apr 2016, 6:54 AM edit delete reply
Thank you, Jamie.
Freelance 28th Apr 2016, 11:20 AM edit delete reply
True, The basic 1st-level Grease spell has gotten me and my party out of a few hitches (including taking out a mummy while we were all still level 1 ourselves).
Raxon 28th Apr 2016, 8:08 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
In DDO, it's a traditional prank to cast grease all around the final loot chest of a dungeon.
Digo Dragon 28th Apr 2016, 8:33 PM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Wow, that's pretty mean. XD
you know that guy 29th Apr 2016, 1:59 AM edit delete reply
This is the same game that traditionally tells the new person in a certain 12-person raid to activate a certain thing but not to screw up and get everybody killed. It always kills everyone, but this isn't too worrisome if they've been paying attention to the story and voiceovers. Of course, new players don't have time or attention span to do this ...
Ishidan 29th Apr 2016, 9:03 AM edit delete reply
Heeheehee
Greasy chests!
No Cupcakes For You 28th Apr 2016, 6:04 AM edit delete reply
Umm...
Solutions of problems by the usage of food? That seems like a nice story time, right?
ThatOneGuy 28th Apr 2016, 6:17 AM edit delete reply
By use of putting poison in the food or the act of food that solved the problem?

I mean nothing was more fun than setting up a necromancy spell to use the dead animals (boar, chicken, turkey) and then having the target get ready to cut a slice of meat only for the food to try to seek revenge.

Still a dash of poison in a cup cake or a thread going down to the ruler's cup of wine as you slowly drip poison onto the string to have it reach the cup to by pass the taste tester always works.

Not a lot of "normal" food saving the day stories.
Digo Dragon 28th Apr 2016, 9:06 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
I once had a major villain nearly choke to death on a non-poisoned martini. S'what happens when you're actually drinking and someone suggests "Roll to drink martini", resulting in a 1.

At that point we were obligated to play it out like the olive scene in The 5th Element
Specter 28th Apr 2016, 7:37 AM edit delete reply
Specter
The same group from a small casino extraction a few pages ago, 21 Rolette, Water Strider, and Mute had to acquire evidence of the mob boss of the casino we struck (or at least the father of the kid who ran it). We learned real quick that this father had about seven children, and the youngest was having a birthday.

At the time, our first question was "Why does he have so many children?", our second was "Was the casino kid going to be there as well?", then our last was "Why is there a convoy of food trucks coming down the path?" As it turns out, the mob boss didn't cheap out on anything for his kids, so we figured "Hey, one more food truck won't be noticed, right?"

We were right, despite our cover being at risk of blowing twice (only Mute can drive, and we reached a checkpoint were Water Strider had to speak over me on my behalf. Yeah, wasn't suspicious at all). Soon after getting in, we realized we would need to split the entire party to get our objective without getting noticed. So with Rolette distracting some of the other food workers and guards with a few card games, and Mute hauling food for the party, Water Strider had to sneak into the house to find any documentation of the mob boss' crimes.

On to how food actually helped, it turns out the birthday girl was a small child, meaning about half the party guests were about go into a sugar rush meltdown (what party run by a mob boss who has nothing but love (and a lot of money) for his kids?). It got so very chaotic that the second youngest mob child (also on sugar rush addiction) found Water Strider, and wanting to impose their authority as a member of 'The Family', chased her about the house with a group of others carrying airsoft weapons. Sugar, the greatest double edged sword ever invented.

A lot of other things happened that session, but I can't help but feel like I've taken enough room already for this, plus there might be stories ahead for other topics. Main point is, Sugar at a small children's birthday party (in extreme supplies) is a better distraction then any military piece of stealthy hardware ever created.
Digo Dragon 28th Apr 2016, 9:09 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Oh dang, a group of children hyped up on sugar is a dangerous thing! I've nearly had two characters pummeled that way (one being Trixie who only managed to escape the horde of chocolate-filled tykes by running up the side of a building).
Zorro362 28th Apr 2016, 6:25 AM edit delete reply
Food does not really come in handy to often in my group, our go to over looked item is usually soap. Seriously, imaginitive uses of soap has saved our butts on more than one occasion...
Space Jawa 28th Apr 2016, 6:31 AM edit delete reply
I have to ask now - was this script at all influenced by the whole cookie diplomacy incident in the session you included a link to?
Newbiespud 28th Apr 2016, 7:12 AM edit delete reply
Newbiespud
Why would I include a link to it if the answer wasn't at least in some small way "yes"?
aerion111 28th Apr 2016, 1:00 PM edit delete reply
aerion111
Because you could have realized after the fact that it had similarities?
It'd require a greater memory of what's happened, but I've gotten used to 'normal' people remembering every detail of their campaigns (unlike me, who struggles to remember their own character's backstory)
you know that guy 29th Apr 2016, 2:02 AM edit delete reply
In that case, he'd have to assume the influence was subconscious.
Huor 28th Apr 2016, 7:16 AM edit delete reply
Actually Pinkie, the cupcake eating contest is the problem, not the solution. If all the pegasi gain several pounds in an eating contest, their wingpower-to-weight ratio goes thrown off and they can't make as big of a tornado.
you know that guy 29th Apr 2016, 2:06 AM edit delete reply
I don't think their weight comes into play, given how they talk about "adding up" their wingpower.
Sidnoea 28th Apr 2016, 7:25 AM edit delete reply
It's been a while since I laughed out loud at one of these comics, haha.
Mykin 28th Apr 2016, 7:35 AM edit delete reply
Mykin
Players proposing wild, nonsensical solutions that happen to involve cupcakes?

... Note to self: Come up with plan that involves using cupcakes in next DnD session...
Specter 28th Apr 2016, 7:39 AM edit delete reply
Specter
Could read the book for inspiration, but I wouldn't recommend it. The process takes too long.
Mykin 28th Apr 2016, 8:25 AM edit delete reply
Mykin
Nah, I'm not looking to go down that route. I'm more thinking along the lines of creating an army of "animated cupcakes" in order to defeat a foe in the most humiliating way possible.
Specter 28th Apr 2016, 8:50 AM edit delete reply
Specter
That sounds several times better.
danime91 28th Apr 2016, 10:46 AM edit delete reply
If you want animated baked goods to fight for you, gingerbread men are the way to go. Freaks' Squeele taught me that.
Winged Cat 28th Apr 2016, 10:59 AM edit delete reply
My D&D party is currently in the Underdark, in a city of no-fun-allowed duergar (dwarves who don't know how to party - no feasts, no carousing, nothing). My cleric is unimpressed by their racism against non-duergar, and keeps thinking of ways to try to make them either give that up or sacrifice much of their economy (on the theory that, when given a choice between converting to Good or crashing down from rich to poverty, even the thoroughly self-interested will likely choose the former).

There might be attempts at a cupcake party in the foreigners' district in the future (if said foreigners get hyped to party). The duergar crack down, the cleric encourages those not arrested to flee and spread word that the duergar now arrest any foreigners who enter their city, the trade caravans cease (because they'd expect to be arrested and their cargo confiscated - not profitable)...and the PCs leave word with what few non-duergar the city trusts, as to how the duergar might repent and recover.
Takewo 28th Apr 2016, 7:42 AM edit delete reply
I don't get the pun of 'muh gains.' Can anyone more learned than I explain, please?
Classic Steve 28th Apr 2016, 7:59 AM edit delete reply
My research indicates that it's a 2011 meme. Apparently the kind that's not very funny the first time but hopes to catch on via repetition.
Takewo 28th Apr 2016, 10:09 AM edit delete reply
Thank you for your wisdom, good sir :)
bluehelpinghorse 28th Apr 2016, 8:16 AM edit delete reply
bluehelpinghorse
Ah shoot... this is gonna be about the baked bads, isn't it.
The MunchKING 28th Apr 2016, 9:32 AM edit delete reply
The MunchKING
The obvious answer is to sabotage the OTHER team of the competition with cupcakes, making them fat and unable to fly.

best of all as they weren't actually poisoned, just really tasty, they have no one to blame for it but themselves!
The MunchKING 28th Apr 2016, 10:06 AM edit delete reply
The MunchKING
Ooops that was "complication" not "competition". Reading Comp 101 people. :p
Digo Dragon 28th Apr 2016, 11:38 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Having read it as 'competition', I'm reminded of an odd little game called Fat Princess, where you feed cake to the princess of the opposing team (who is carrying her), so that the team can't carry the princess back to the castle easily.
Masterweaver 28th Apr 2016, 11:12 AM edit delete reply
Masterweaver
Be fair, Spud, it was originally pizza.
j-eagle12212012 29th Apr 2016, 3:44 AM edit delete reply
j-eagle12212012
Still the greatest Nat 20 of the campaign to date. Spuds reaction was priceless
Specter 29th Apr 2016, 7:19 PM edit delete reply
Specter
Please be spoiler-y free (because I am now binge watching from Skyfall taking off/ inevitable battle no one saw coming (so quickly)), but was it anything like this?
redwings1340 28th Apr 2016, 11:46 AM edit delete reply
redwings1340
I've evacuated citizens by announcing a party in another city before. Actually, a few characters in the campaigns I'm in just like having parties. Parties are good. Every once in a while they're even productive and useful!
Lalli-is-best 28th Apr 2016, 11:48 AM edit delete reply
Never underestimate the power of cupcakes.
nathan400 28th Apr 2016, 7:00 PM edit delete reply
nathan400
This has nothing much to do with anything, but I ended up on the Bay Area Brony Spectacular Convention (BABScon) staff despite this comic and the old Smooze movie being the only MLP exposure I've ever had. This happened because my friend became the head of the table top division when the old head just up and disappeared at the last moment and he needed all the help he could get.
Mykin 29th Apr 2016, 6:45 AM edit delete reply
Mykin
Cool! I went to EFNW last years with this webcomic being my only exposure to the MLP community in general. Ironically, I ended up volunteering for tabletop up there because I figured I'd have nothing to do and no one to chat with when I got up there. The fact that I'm going back up there and volunteering again this year should probably tell you how well that turned out.

Here's hoping you have as much fun as I had without half of the nonsense I had to deal with! :D
ChrisTheS 29th Apr 2016, 10:30 AM edit delete reply
I just realized there is no practical difference between an RPG session and a manzai routine.
Guest 29th Apr 2016, 5:28 PM edit delete reply
I do not understand the 'Muh gains.' reference.
aerion111 29th Apr 2016, 9:25 PM edit delete reply
aerion111
I've heard it before.
It's workout-related, or at least they used a bulging-muscle (the body-builder impractical kind, not the useful strong-guy kind) guy as the image-macro.
But I'd be interested in knowing the exact reference too, as that's all I know.